Yelling may feel good, but how does it affect others?..........

Finally the kid had enough.

She decided that it was time for the others to notice her.

She yelled as loud as she could: Arrghhhhhhh!

Although yelling in most social settings is probably viewed

as ''bad form'', rude, disturbing, I am still pretty sure

that most of us have at some time or another, ... yelled.

And for many different reasons, although some perhaps

a bit more ''justifiable'' and helpful than others.

To warn: ''Hey, watch out!''

To get noticed: ''Hey, look at Me!''

To encourage: ''Well done!! Good on ya.''

To instruct: ''Please! Don't slam the door.''

To coach: ''Put your back into it. Try again.''

To make a statement: ''Freedom for all!!!.''

Yelling obscenities, insults, or offensive words on the other hand,

is in my opinion seldom justifiable or helpful. 

(Granted, when we yell we are usually emotionally charged

which can often make it difficult for us to control our choice of words.

Difficult yes, but not impossible.)

Some suggest that ''it's the nature of yelling that makes it

reflective of other forms of corporal punishment'', and

the intent of corporal punishment some say, is to deliberately

correct, chastise, rebuke and or reprimand.

Even when ''it's for our own good'', being yelled at often

feels confrontational and dare I say, humiliating.

As a keen observer of human behaviours it perplexes me

why so often the first response by a parent when a child lost in a

shopping center is found seem to be to yell at him/her: ''Don't do that!!!!

 Don't ever do that again.!!!!!

How is that child supposed to interpret that?
(Except for feeling humiliated by the public rebuke.)

Hence the dichotomy of yelling; at times it can be a rebuke and an 

expression of excitement simultaneously.

As in: ''Daddy/mummy is so angry with you for wandering off, 

but also so happy with finding you''.

(From personal experience I discovered that after handing

out a rebuke to my son, a clear, calm and precise explanation for

the rebuke often worked a treat in avoiding a repeat performance.)

Some say that frustration begets anger. I would like to

suggest that frustration (for whatever reason) often also begets

yelling.

''Are we there yet?Are we there yet?Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?Are we there yet? etc. etc."

Finally, NOT YET!!!

''Peter, the music is too loud,

can you please close the door, I'm on the phone.''

15 minutes later: NOW!!

Although yelling at others often leads to more yelling,

in my opinion, sometimes finding somewhere secluded and

out of earshot of others to do some yelling, can be quite helpful.

During a very trying time in my life when I was overcome by

sadness and loss, I discovered a safe way to release some of

my emotional turmoil without it affecting anybody else.

I would buy a dozen eggs, drive to a secluded spot somewhere,

get out of the car, find something solid like a rock or a tree trunk,

and then yell at the top of my lungs while throwing one egg

after the other. Each egg representing a burden that I was carrying.

It made a mess, an organic mess, but it also helped to relieve some of

pressure and pain that I was experiencing at that time.

If we find that we resort to yelling a lot of the time

and in a lot of different situation, it may be time

for a little introspection.

Asking ourselves some questions such as: 

Why am I yelling all the time?

Is there a better way for me to communicate?

How does my yelling affect others?

''Anybody who has something sensible or worthwhile to say

should be able to say it calmly and soberly,

relying on the words themselves to convey

his [or her] meaning,

without resorting to yelling.''

(Richard Dawkins)

about the image: water colour and pen and ink on paper , editing

in Photoshop