Kindness is not a sign of weakness.......

Yesterday I watched a movie about the man who founded

the ''Make a Wish Foundation''.

As far as childhoods go, Jack's childhood was fraught

with a constant flow of obstacles, hardships,

 and disappointments.

Mostly due to his mother's failure to uphold a

court order stating regular visitations by his

beloved and loving father.

(Every time Jack's father would find them, his mother would

pack up their very small trailer and leave.)

At eleven, his mother told him that his dad had died in

a car accident, (a lie) and before Jack could catch his

breath, she threw her things in the back of her

new boyfriend's truck and left.

To cut a long story short; Jack ran. Eventually he ended up

at a diner owned by a very kind man who took him in

and raised him as his son. ''Son'', he said to Jack, ''when

someone needs help, you help.''

This advice eventually inspired Jack to start 

the Make a Wish Foundation.

As far back as I can remember, I have been puzzled

by why we (humans) so often seem to find

it so hard to chose kindness as our first

response in any number of different situations.

Some suggest that for some of us kindness is

perceived as a weakness, a sign of emotional frailty

 and ''softness'' rather than a strength.

Some even view kind people as ''push-overs'',

as gullible, and easily taken advantage of.

To be kind it seems, is for some of us synonymous with 

vulnerability, and vulnerability is ''bad'' because it ''opens''
the possibility for us to be hurt or worse still, to be rejected.

''Better to keep people uncertain of who you really are

by being cool, aloof, and mysterious, than to show your

heart and be deemed a ''softie''.

Julia Breur, a clinical psychotherapist:  ''Some remain

stagnant in their human development as protective

(of themselves and others)

and others continue to develop with the realization that

they can protect(themselves and others) by being kind.''

In between gigs, I have often had to compliment my meager

''music'' income by working in various kinds of warehouses.

I did so on and off for 10 years but the environment

was so toxic and ''back-breaking'' (literally) that I decided

to embrace poverty. (= quit) 

But before I left, I wanted to set the record straight as

to why I never once responded with nasty words to all

the nasty words that had been hurled at me.

With my lunch box under my arm, I walked up the 

warehouse manager, looked him straight in the eyes and said:

''Never, ever, mistake kindness for weakness!!'' and with

those words I left the warehousing ''gambit'' forever.

(As a 20-something year old, I decided to never use

my intelligence for ''evil'' or nastiness, or to hurt someone

else with, and to this day, I have never broken that promise.

Kindness, has always been one of my most

important personal values.)

Perhaps at this point it may be good for me to give

you my definition of kindness.

''Kindness is a deliberate response and or an action taken not based
on the cost or gain to the self, but on the concern and regard
for the other.'' 

A little act of kindness, given or received un-expectedly,
is like someone whispering gently into your soul;
I see you, and you are not alone. (Citizen Z)

About the image: Teddy is a little bear I created and he appears
on a number of posts on this blog site