Weapons come in many shapes and forms

Last week, a young girl barely a teenager, took her own life. The reason? 

Cyber bullying.

When the mobile (cell) phone was invented, I am pretty sure that the thought that it could be used as a potentially deadly weapon, didn't enter the minds of those who invented it.

The phone was a tool primarily for the purpose of us being able to communicate with others far way, and or next doors, while not having to move and or change location. Doctors, midwife's, the police, ambulances, friends, loved ones far away or up the road, could be contacted, business meetings and deals could be arranged over the phone, etc.etc. In short, the phone was a very convenient and helpful tool, and mostly and more often than not, used for "benign" purposes.

A phone, before the invention of mobile/cell phones, was a fixture, as in, it stayed in one place connected to a socket in the wall, in other words,...it had an address.  The mobility that the mobile/cell phone offered, meant that a call could be made and or received anywhere as long as there was some reception, which meant that it no longer had an address, just a number. The journey towards us being able to use the phone for not only benign but also harmful purposes, had begun. Today's mobile phones are virtually little computers, and the mind boggles (well, mine at least) at what one can do with and on a phone, which in my view, has both good (helpful) and bad (harmful) ramifications..... as seems to be the case with most inventions us humans come up with. 

One of the harmful ramifications that I see with today's mobile/cell phones, is that they offer anonymity. With a "burner" phone for example, a phone that is designed for temporary use, has prepaid amount of minutes, comes without a contract, and if bought with cash, virtually guarantees anonymity.

And anonymity for someone with ill intentions in mind, offers an opportunity to do and say hurtful things without being held responsible for it.

("A crime is only a crime if you are caught", so say some folks.)

When asked, here are some of the reasons those asked gave for why they engage in cyber bullying:

Anonymity- they don't have to face their victims so it takes less courage and they feel that the anonymity shields them from being caught.

It's funny- because they don't see the reactions in their victims they are oblivious to the damage they cause.

Social status- every one is doing it, so if I do too, I'll be viewed as "cool".

(Bullies have always been around, but online cyber bullying is a new thing, made possible through today's technology. Yay! for technology, ..... now people can be bullied both in real life and online...)

A gun is a deadly weapon firing bullets, bullets that when they enter a body tears it apart and more often than not, causing irreparable damage and or death.

A cell phone can be just as deadly a weapon, although it fires only words. Words however, just like bullets, can cause irreparable damage, tear someones heart into bits and destroy a persons self-esteem to such an extent that they no longer see a reason to stay alive, in other words, ....words just like real bullets can be deadly.

I asked a "troll" in a chat room: Why do you troll? What about upsetting and hurting people do you enjoy?

Answer: It's fun.
What's fun about it? I asked.
Answer: Watching people get upset is fun.

Me: Do you do this face to face as well, I mean, say hurtful things to people?
Answer: Nah, I just do it online.
Me: Why only online, is it not as fun face to face?

Answer: F**k off idiot!!
And with that the troll left the chat room.

I have had many other encounters with trolls in my favourite chat room and my experience is that trolls seldom enter into conversations, they prefer to hide behind their "nicks" (which they constantly keep changing due to being kicked out of the room over and over again) and just hurl as much vitriol as they can. On one occasion, there was a particularly nasty troll who kept attacking every one in the chat room but did so in such a way that he/she was able to avoid being kicked. I kept reading what the troll posted and it became obvious to me that this troll was a very smart one with a very extensive vocabulary. I decided to challenge the troll and his/her sense of "smartness". 

Me: Hey, you are a Mensa member, aren't you? 

Troll: Why are you asking? 

Me: You are obviously very smart, I'm guessing an IQ around 150? 

Troll: Actually, my IQ is 158. 

Me: Oh, really, mine is 160.  (I said this to challenge the troll.)

Troll: So you are a member too? 

And just like that the troll asked me if we could chat in private, which we did, and while doing so we found that we had a lot to talk about. (By the way, I am not a Mensa member, I just let the troll assume so. At least while chatting with me in private, he/she wasn't upsetting anyone in the main room anymore.)

According to those in the know, most people are mean to others in order to feel better about themselves., but here's the kicker.... when we insult and harass others, it says more about how we feel about ourselves than others. Even when someone spews a load of sarcasm and vitriol on us, what they are really telling us is just how insecure and lacking in self-esteem they are.

For those of us who own a mobile/cell phone, may I suggest that the responsibility of whether we use it as a weapon or as a communication tool of the benign kind, ....that responsibility rests with each of us.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones,

but hurtful words may kill me."

(Meaning: physical wounds doctors can heal, wounds to the heart, mind, and soul on the other hand, can potentially be lethal.)

(The original by Robert Fulghum: "Sticks and stones may break my bones,

but words will never break me." Meaning: you can hurt me physically but not mentally.)