on Expressing oneself....

A solitary figure walks across a snow covered frozen lake. Who is he? Where is he going?

Why is he alone? 

For years, early every morning I would drive to the beach and go for a long walk along the waters edge.

Except for on a few occasions, nothing out of the ordinary used to happen. Allow me to share one of those exceptions with you...

Not far in front of me, there they were, two men carrying a sofa, and a woman carrying a floor lamp.

They walked to the waters edge, put down the sofa and the floor lamp facing the ocean.. The men sat down on the sofa, the woman somehow magically turned on the floor lamp and then sat down on the sofa as well. 

Something so ordinary; people sitting on a sofa with a lit floor lamp behind them; suddenly extremely out of the ordinary due to where this was taking place. What a lark!! and for me, a mind bender.

My whole approach to painting changed. I realized that as an artist, I had the freedom to paint any kind of image....the word "real" no longer came with any restrictions other than whether I would be able to technically produce my "mind's" image or not.

"You're a "message" artist" one of my friends told me. "A what?" I asked. "Most of your paintings seem to have an underlying message" she answered. 

Expressing ourselves, according to research, is paramount to our well being. We do so in many ways: talking, writing, painting, dancing, gardening, working out, etc.etc.etc. Some suggest that the need to express ourselves comes from an "inherent" need for belonging; we want to know about others and we want others to know about us. ( Hence the "success" of the internet?)

Most commonly we express ourselves by using words; written/signed or spoken; but in my experience, there are times when words just somehow are not enough. Which is when the "arts" can come in handy. "A picture paints a thousand words".."music is the language of the soul"..."dancing can improve your mental health"...and so on. As well as expressing ourselves by "doing" (whatever it may be), at times others "doing" may be just as effective: listening to music, viewing other peoples works of art, reading other peoples writings, watching movies, performing arts, etc.etc.

Unfortunately, we also express ourselves in less life affirming ways: through the use of hurtful words, shouting, screaming, aggressive and hostile actions, breaking and destroying things, abusive actions and words, etc.etc...

How we express ourselves, can often depend on how aware we are of the underlying emotions that are driving our behaviours, and the good news is that there are different possible ways of finding out what our underlying emotions are. Between an event and a response, there is a fraction of time in which we have the chance to choose how we will respond......  Dr. Phil: "When you choose the behaviour, you choose the consequences."

That fraction of time between the event and the response is when we can: count to ten, take a deep breath, consider the consequences should we lash out etc., consider postponing a response until a calmer time, choosing our words carefully, and so on. We may not be able to control/handle/subdue our emotions at all times, but, more often than not, we can choose how we are going to express them.

Expressing ourselves is important for our well-being, so spending some time figuring out constructive and life-affirming ways of doing so, may be worth while.  

"Everyone has their own ways of expression. I believe we all have a lot to say, but finding ways to say it is more than half the battle." (Criss Jami, writer)

"If you could say it in words, there would be no reason to paint." (Edward Hopper, artist)

"Where words fail, music speaks." (Hans Christian Andersen, writer)

ps. the above painting is an imagined depiction of a Russian soldier on his way home, finally.