"Technology aside,........in the end, what matters most, is that someone walks beside you."

 

"Citizen Kane"...a movie that baffles and confounds, irritates and fascinates. (This is a painting of Orson Wells who played the character Charles Foster Kane that I am working on at the moment)

Synopsis: "The film opens with a long shot of Xanadu - the private estate of one of the world's richest men. In the middle of the estate is a castle. We see, inside the castle, a dying man examining a winter scene within a crystal ball. As he drops it, it smashes, and one word is heard - "Rosebud..." (Colin Tinto)

The movie in my view is basically about figuring out what "Rosebud" was....and.....that neither power nor money necessarily brings happiness. What about fame? Can being famous make you feel happy?

Fame, for this purpose, defined as "the state of being known by many". Before the event of the internet, one became "famous" through appearing in the papers, on the Radio, Television, or in movies.

Today, if it is fame one is seeking, the Internet can be an excellent tool: YouTube, Twitter, FaceBook, Instagram, etc. are tools anyone can use, anywhere, at anytime. And the amazing thing with those, is that a person, or a cat, or a dog, etc., can become super "famous" in a flash.....by doing something good or bad, crazy or heroic, funny or sad, stupid or brave, amazing or mundane, it really doesn't seem to matter. At its core, "fame" may I suggest, is perhaps desirable because it can satisfy one of our most basic needs: validation. (=approval)

Take FaceBook for instance: How important is it for you to receive "likes" when you post something? Is the number of "friends" you have important to you? If you post something that you feel strongly about, and nobody makes a comment or "likes" it, do you feel disappointed?

On the other hand: Does FaceBook help you feel connected? Does it offer you a place to express your thoughts, and perhaps have those thoughts validated? (I don't use Twitter or Instagram, so I am excluding those for lack of knowledge or first hand experience)

According to some research, in spite of the many varied ways in which we can communicate with each other, more and more of us are experiencing social anxiety and feelings of alienation.

Which seems to me to be a bit of an oxymoron: so many different ways for us to communicate with each other, yet allegedly, somehow we are feeling more anxious?

Helpful and rewarding as the "technological space" can be for communication and finding validation, question remains.......is it enough?

A person may have 390 FaceBook friends, but when all the i-Thingys are turned off, how many actual friends does that person have? Are digits and such on a screen sufficient in meeting a person's needs for interaction, validation, and connection?

In the technological space, it is possible to be whoever we want to be. Watching the show "Catfish" I was amazed to see how far some of us will go in order to connect: fake life stories, identities, gender, backgrounds, relationships, etc. were created and sustained for years. (Aka= a catfish)

In most cases, eventually the "catfish" would be found out, often resulting in the person being "catfished" feeling terribly hurt and disappointed. (On the other hand, my IT guy, who used to help me with all things computer, met his wife on line....through their shared love for an on-line game, and an honest and sincere interaction.)

Are some of us playing out our social and personal issues in the technological space?

(Judging from the issue of "cyber bullying", words can hurt just as much on a screen as when spoken, however, in my view, writing nasty things on a screen is far easier than saying them face to face, and often carries very little chance of repercussions.)

While in a chat room, a "troll", aka "a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community" (Wikipedia) entered and decided to do his/her thing. In the space of a few minutes he/she managed to hurt and upset most of the people in the room with the effect that most people left. I couldn't help but wonder if he/she would behave in such manner in an "actual" space.....

Was he/she seeking some kind of validation?....better to be hated than ignored?

The "technological" space, when respected, can be a wonderful place for making new friendships, meeting new people, keeping old friendships alive, communicating with distant relatives, etc.etc., but may I suggest that just as beneficial as the technological space is, so is "actual" space. (= the physical space)

As well as texting, why not also call and talk,...as well as chatting in a chat room, why not also meet up with some friends for a coffee/meal/movie, as well as reading stuff on line, why not also go to a book store, as well as downloading music, why not also go to a live concert, as well as skyping with your folks/grown children, why not also go see them in person, as well as googling reasons for your pain, why not also go see a health professional, etc.etc.

As amazing as the technological space is....it can't hug you, it can't sit beside you when you're in pain, it can't listen to you when you have concerns you need to talk about, it can't comfort you when you feel alone, only "real" people can do that.

"When it boils down to it, it doesn't really matter how famous you are, how powerful you are, or how much money you have, in the end, what matters most, is that someone walks beside you."

(Citizen Z)