Some say you can't judge a book by its cover, ... how about judging people by their "cover"?
When we first meet someone, our eyes dart from head to toe, and in a few seconds we often manage to evaluate their outward appearance, and by that evaluation we draw conclusions as to that person's character, status, background, likes and dislikes, financial status, etc. etc.
(We apparently all do it, regardless of culture, or gender, or at least this was the conclusion that some researchers came to after they had done some in-depth studies. To be able to ascertain the eye movements of their test subjects, a small camera (how, I am not sure) filmed the path of the darting eyes.)
People watching; probably something most of us do instinctively, intuitively, and often subconsciously. We observe, and then perhaps we theorize, sometimes even coming up with our own narratives to go along with our observations. "Wow, look at her, I bet she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth." "Sheesh, look at that guy, who does he think he is just coz he is wearing an Armani suit??" "Wow, how scruffy does that kid look, spends all his money on drugs, no doubt."
"Is that supposed to be a skirt? Looks more like a belt to me. Only certain types of girls dresses like that."
Snap judgements. In the blink of an eye, we have decided what kind of "people" they are, all without any form of verbal communication. When my son became a "Goth" during his last years of high school, I learned time and time again, that judging a book by its cover was fallacious.
Most of his friends wore black (everything), Doc Marten boots, had their hair dyed jet black, piercings all over the place, black nail polish and black lip stick (guys and girls), wore t-shirts with band names like "Slipknot", "Sepultura", "Marilyn Manson", and listened to music that even I (as a musician I try to be open to new music) found hard to come to grips with at times.
To be honest, some of them looked scary to me, and this included my son. However, I knew that my son was a caring, good hearted, sensitive, human being, so chances were, I concluded, that so were his friends. I learned to ignore my son's friends outer appearances and to focus on getting to know them from their inside out instead.
According to some research; people viewed by many as "good-looking" are often trusted more easily, "attractive" looking kids viewed as smarter by teachers, "friendly" looking people viewed as easier to interact with, and so on. (Interestingly, serial killers Ted Bundy and Richard Ramirez got away with murdering many people much to do with that they didn't "look" as if they were killers, and O.J. Simpson managed to walk free many believe, because he was a football star and well-liked.)
When we make snap judgements, we do so intuitively, and/or unconsciously most of the time; we don't "hear" ourselves thinking and/or processing our biases, unsupported assumptions, misconceptions, etc., rather, we go with our "gut". "He/she has an honest face, I'll buy my car from him/her."
By understanding how our minds selects and store information about others, how we process and evaluate that information, we can become aware of when we are making (snap) judgements based on "gut" instinct, previous experiences of the favourable kind, and/or the "left a bad taste in my mouth" kind. (Bearing in mind however, that judgements, regardless of whether they are hasty or not, are judgements based on our own opinions and perceptions, and therefore, in my view, always subjective.)
Sometimes our "gut" instincts, or snap judgements, can end up leading us to hold a view that we may later have to revise. "But I had such a good feeling about him/her, and now......" "By the looks of him/her, I thought that he/she was........but now when ..... I realise that I was wrong."
It is possible for someone we may deem at a first glance to be...xxx....to not be...xxx...at all.
It is possible that the narratives we assign to people we don't know but just observe, to be inaccurate.
It is possible for our gut instincts and/or initial feelings, to be incorrect when further scrutinised.
It is also possible that they may be correct, accurate, and helpful.
If the common sentiment is that it is a bad idea to judge a book by its cover, then perhaps it may also be a bad idea to judge our fellow human beings by their "cover"?
“A person doesn't ever truly know another person. They have a whole life, years and years of memories and experiences. You cannot ever know what they have felt in situations, what has happened to them, what made them who they are. So you cannot judge a person ever, not unless you somehow manage to learn their whole life.” (Meg)
“Open your mind to the world and the many different ways that can be found in it, before making hasty judgments of others. After all, the very same thing that you judge from where you are— may very well be something totally different in meaning on the other side of the world. The problem with making hasty judgments is that it will emphasize your ignorance at the end of the day.” (C. Joybell C.)
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