Are you who you want to be? The good news is....you can be.......

 

Are you who you want to be?

If not, then the good news is that you can be.

 

Each new moment offers us the possibility to change those things about ourselves we do not like.

There is freedom hidden in taking responsibility for who we are, how we behave, and how we think.

Regardless of what others or circumstances may inflict on us, how we respond....that is up to each of us.

 

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." (Viktor Frankl)

The word "responsibility" perhaps may evoke an allergic reaction in some of us, but if we for a moment have a closer look at what taking responsibility for our own lives (actions, thoughts) have to offer, then we may also see the freedom it offers. Blaming others, or circumstances, may be easier, less painful, and demand less effort on our behalf but....and there is a but,...it may also mean that we are giving away our sense of our own "personal power". (Personal power= our ability to have our own needs met in a positive and life affirming way)

The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” writes Joan Didion.

So, how does freedom enter into this then? You, when you take responsibility for your own actions/behaviours/thoughts, You have the freedom, (and not others or circumstances), to determine how to respond. (In as much as we would probably like to; we cannot change others it seems.)

Examples: You drink more than you think you should, you smoke more than you think you should, you eat more than you think you should, you get angry more than you think you should, you spend less time with your loved one/s than you think you should, you exercise less than you think you should, and so on. When we think we should do something differently than the way we are doing it, then in my view, that is often our life principles/belief system telling us we are "out of line".

Staying true to our guiding life principles offers us stability, and assists us in building our self-esteem, and in achieving more self-esteem, we feel better about ourselves.

Are you the person you want to be? If yes, then great, if no; then perhaps you can begin by identifying what you want to change about you and how you can go about it in a responsible way?

That is; without assigning the blame on others and or situations/circumstances. This offers you the possibility to become more proactive rather than passive, it assists in building self-respect rather than a need for others validation. Bearing in mind however, that how others will respond to what you say or what you do, is not within your control, what is within your control however, is the way you communicate your message. "Thanks for the offer, but I don't want another drink, I am quite content." "I am sorry, but I can't work that extra hour tonight, is there another way that I can get that job done?" "I am feeling in a bad mood tonight, can we talk about this after I have had a shower please?" "I am sorry, but I don't agree with what you just said, can we agree to disagree for the time being?" "It's important for me to stay true to my guiding life principles, so I am going to have to turn you down, sorry." 

If perhaps, you are not sure of what your guiding life-principles are, then perhaps spending a few moments thinking about what those are could be helpful?

Guiding life-principles/values are the fundamental building blocks that we use to prioritise what is important to us. (Example: honesty, loyalty, fairness, kindness, compassion, et cetera.)

Prince William has this to say: "My guiding principles in life are to be honest, genuine, thoughtful and caring."

“Make the choice to be your highest and best self, regardless of the circumstances.”
(Rosalene Glickman)

“Your ultimate goal in life is to become your best self.  Your immediate goal is to get on the path that will lead you there.”(David Viscott, M.D.)

My (Citizen X) number one guiding life-principle is: "to serve others" which is one of the reasons why I have this blog....and as a person who continuously does battle with trying to become a better "me"; my suggestion is to never give up on becoming the best You, you can be.

 

ps: The image is a Photoshopped photo of me wearing a mask and hat....after all....why not a little mystery?