Have you ever seen something so beautiful that it made you feel sad? Have you ever heard something so beautiful you found yourself tearful? Have you ever experienced something so joyful it made you cry? (= tears of joy)
Why does feeling sad get such a bad wrap? (I am not speaking about prolonged feelings of depression)
Often we try to outrun our feelings of sadness, and/or keep ourselves busy in order to keep those feelings at bay.
Joe Forgas, a prominent social psychologist who has spent a considerable amount of time studying "sadness" discovered much to his surprise that there are benefits in feeling sad at times.
Some of the benefits he found: somehow feeling a bit down/sad, improves our memory, we make less biased judgements, we detect insincerity quicker, we are less likely to engage in stereotyping, basically; we become more sensitive toward others.
No wonder he was surprised. I have often heard it said that sadness makes people selfish, introverted and antisocial, but according to Joe Forgas research, it does the opposite.
(Once again, this is not referring to depression or prolonged feelings of sadness)
Many of us at times enjoy watching sad movies, listening to sad music, read sad books/poetry, look at paintings that invoke feelings of sadness, and perhaps we do so, because those feelings can help us stay in touch with parts of ourselves that we hold very close to our chests and at times find hard to express. After the showing of "Schindlers List" finished, I could hear many people sobbing, some crying, and as beautiful music played while the credits rolled, nobody moved, nobody spoke, and the atmosphere in the movie theatre was saturated with emotion. Eventually we all left, sad, but perhaps we were also more grateful for many things, and people, in our lives.
Feeling sad, for many is viewed as a problem emotion, best avoided. However, is it possible to be happy and cheerful all the time, or to be "positive"? Can temporary feelings of sadness be abolished, more so, should they?
Perhaps we experience sadness at times because it is an important, valuable even, aspect of being a human being?
When a dear friend of mine passed away, my friends wife told me in confidence that she was not able to cry for her loss. "I want to cry, but I can't, I don't seem to be able to let it out," she told me. There is something cathartic about crying because often after a good cry, we feel better, which suggests to me that sadness rather than a "negative" expression, or a problematic emotion, can be a helpful emotion in that it may assist us in reliving some "pressure" when we are hurting.(Physically or psychologically)
"The word "happiness" would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." (Carl Young)
Perhaps many of us wish for "happiness" to be our constant emotion/state of mind, however, unpleasant/uncomfortable/"negative" emotions are equally as crucial as pleasant/comfortable/"positive" emotions when it comes to us making sense of life's many ups and downs. Emotions, may I suggest, assist us in evaluating our experiences; good and/or bad, happy and/or sad, and so on.
Some suggest that sadness can also assist us in seeking solutions, if instead of seeking to avoid it, we learn to understand its causes and how to manage it.
(Once again, this is not referring to depression or prolonged feelings of sadness)
There can be many different reasons for why we experience feelings of sadness, but if we acknowledge those feelings rather than "gloss over" them, we may be able to find helpful ways to transform those feelings into valuable insights and a deeper sense of compassion for others when they experience sadness.
"We can't outrun sadness, because where ever we go, we bring our sadness with us."
(Citizen X)
"It doesn't hurt to be sad from time to time." (Willie Nelson)
"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out, also keeps out the joy." (Jim Rohn)
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