How to open your mind................make a paradigm shift

 

"But where is the film? they asked the man when he was trying to show them a new photographic technique. "And you don't use either a developer or a darkroom? Well, how can this be photography then?" they asked. What the man was trying to show them was electrostatic photography; also known as xerography; but since their paradigm (model) of what photography was did not recognise this mans invention, they rejected it. Chester Carlson, the inventor, was rejected many times before he was successful. (Xerography is used in most photocopying machines as well as in laser and LED printers which today is a multi billion dollar industry.)

So what is a paradigm? One definition is: " A shared
set of assumptions that have to do with how we perceive the world.
Paradigms can be very helpful because they allow us to develop expectations
about what will probably occur based on these assumptions." But what if we discover data/information that falls outside of our paradigms? Often we just don't see and or accept it, and this is called the "paradigm effect". Take it one step further to where we don't even recognise or are aware of that we are guided by our paradigms, and we may end up with "paradigm paralysis".

And this is important why?

Paradigm paralysis prevents us from seeing beyond our current models of thinking.

("If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.")

If we hold the view that all unemployed people are lazy and don't want to work, then we are probably not going to recognise those who are unemployed for a multitude of different reasons and none to do with laziness. Paradigm> unemployed people are lazy.

If we hold the view that rich people are rich because they work hard and so deserve it, and poor people are poor because they don't work hard and so deserve to be poor, then our working paradigm may be > you get what you deserve.

These paradigms may work until......we get sacked from our jobs due to an economic downturn and find ourselves struggling to pay our bills, and, struggling to keep poverty at bay we may come to the conclusion that nobody deserves to be poor; > a paradigm shift.

There are religious paradigms, theoretical paradigms, scientific paradigms, social paradigms, and technical paradigms (just to mention a few), and they vary from culture to culture.

As I am writing this, one news report of war and conflict after the other, flashes on the TV screen.  Paradigm clash after paradigm clash, resulting in serious conflicts, innocent people dying and causing irreparable damage to structure, culture and nature.

Are we in the grips of a global paradigm paralysis? If so, for the sake of all mankind, is it not possible that we could re-examine our paradigms and break our paralysis? Perhaps we are due for a few paradigm shifts?

Throughout history there has been many paradigm shifts (a change of basic assumptions); "The transition in cosmology from a Ptolemaic Cosmology to a Copernican one, The acceptance of the Theory of Biogenesis; that all life comes from life, as opposed to the theory of spontaneous generation, which began in the 17th century and was not complete until the 19th century with Louis Pasteur. The development of quantum mechanics, which replaced classical mechanics at microscopic scales. The movement known as the Cognitive Revolution, away from Behaviourist approaches to psychological study and the acceptance of cognition as central to studying human behaviour. The acceptance of Lavoisier's theory of chemical reactions and combustion in place of phlogiston theory, known as the Chemical Revolution." (Wikipedia)

An earful I know, yet there are so many more.

Dealing with uncertainty and changing paradigms, although unsettling, also bears good fruit; we learn, we discover, and we invent new ways, new things, new thoughts.

Perhaps we want to hang on to our paradigms, belief systems, views, because it feels safer, but may I suggest we ponder this: An open mind allows us to experience new (different) ideas, new (different) thoughts, new (different) ways of seeing things, and an open mind is often conducive to positive change.

Our paradigms may perhaps be hidden to us, yet they are intrinsic to our mental processes. Often we only discover them when we try to communicate with someone with differing paradigms.

But the good thing is, we can make a paradigm shift whenever we like.

 

"We need to develop and disseminate an entirely new paradigm and practice of collaboration that supersedes the traditional silos that have divided governments, philanthropies and private enterprises for decades and replace it with networks of partnerships working together to create a globally prosperous society." (Simon Mainwaring)

 

(About the image: What do you see?

It is a close-up contraption for kids to play in.)

On social anxiety...feeling awkward

"At work, he tries to mix with his co-workers, but he feels awkward. Somehow he doesn't seem to speak the same language. They laugh at things he doesn't find funny, they speak about things he doesn't find interesting, and when he tries to interact, he fumbles with his words and often lose their attention before he has finished expressing himself."

"She makes sure that she always dresses according to the current fashion, that she wears the "right" labels, that everything about her appearance tells others how confident and self-assured she is.

Still, she feels awkward around others and far from self confident."

 

When I was a kid, being accepted into the "cool group" at school was very important and as far as I can ascertain, it still is today. But what made the cool group cool? And is it really limited to schools, or does the concept apply to many social settings?

A group of researches decided to conduct a scientific study on what being "cool" meant.

508 people of varying ages were asked to use adjectives that they connected with the word "cool" and the most commonly used terms were "confident" and "popular". Other words also used were words such as "calm" and "aloof", but they discovered that although "coolness" may be easily recognised, it was harder to define.

If we just "know" when a person is cool, does that work the other way too? We just "know" when someone is not cool?

According to Maslow's hierarchy of human needs; belonging is one of the big ones, we all want and need to belong to or with something/someone regardless of whether we are "cool" or not.

How we interact with others plays a big part in the equation of belonging, and how we interact often has a lot to do with how we view ourselves.

If we view ourselves as inferior, others will sense it, if we view ourselves as socially awkward, others will sense that too.

What are some signs of social awkwardness?

Some suggestions: We feel nervous, anxious, uncomfortable, ill at ease in a number of different social settings. We feel uncertain about how to behave "correctly", we feel unsure of what topics of conversation are acceptable. We remain silent in case we say the "wrong" thing.

Basically, when we experience social awkwardness, there is an underlying concern of being negatively judged and or evaluated by others.

However, having read up on social anxiety/awkwardness and the different definitions of the terms, I would like to change tack because there seems to me to be a glaring discrepancy in most of the definitions: it does not include the possibility that perhaps most of us experience some form or another of apprehension when dealing with different social settings.

Perhaps not all of us want lots and lots of friends, not all of us want to be social butterflies, not all of us want to be members of "this, that, or the other group" activity, some of us perhaps prefer a few close friends, a few outings now and then, and the occasional visit to a ball game, museum, gallery et cetera with a few equally minded people.

(Perhaps it may be a question of the quality of the connections we make with others rather than the quantity?)

If we feel anxious in some social settings but would like to feel more at ease, it may be helpful to ask ourselves how, and what we can change about ourselves to better and more confidently, deal with such settings. A good starting point may be to improve our communication skills.

A few suggestions: focus your attention on what is going on outside of you rather than on your own thinking > when someone speaks with you, establish eye contact,

> ask questions relating to what is being said, that way people will know that you are connecting with the conversation,

> be clear in your language, but also respectful,

> be aware and mindful of others emotions/feelings.

Become a good listener; when people feel listened to, they often feel empowered and validated.

Perhaps it may also be helpful for you to define for yourself how you consider a socially competent person to behave? (According to the research on "coolness"; people are deemed "cool" because others find them enjoyable to be with.)

Once you have established what in your view constitutes "social aptness", it may be helpful to investigate what you can do to acquire those qualities.

On the other hand, you may be "cool" with: having a few, but awesome friends, to hang out in galleries on your own, to sit with a book and read in a coffee shop, to not have 85.000 friends on Facebook, to listen rather than speak, to have a mint tea rather than a brew, to meet your friends on line rather than in a RL,  acknowledging your awkwardness in certain situations without a loss of self-esteem, .......you may even be "cool" about not being cool.....

 

“I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stunned by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say, "Hi." They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word.” (Augusten Burroughs)

When all seems lost.......invest in hope

 

At times,

often are the times,

when our minds do need some rest.

 

To find a pocket of peace,

a smidgin of quietude,

by increments removed.

 

The battle drums rattle,

the penny whistles screech,

the angst of existence

mankind besieged.

 

In far away places,

an enemy rages,

so small in size

invisible to the eye.

 

Hollow are the words,

the gestures of concern,

when icecaps are melting

and harvests burn.

 

Little the comfort

of trips to Mars

in the face of millions

sleeping beneath the stars.

 

Endless discussions

of who is right, or who is wrong,

instead of sincere attention

to how we could all get along.

 

For those who have it all,

all is never enough,

and for those who barely survive

enough is always tough.

 

In spite of all of this

and maybe even more,

there's still a great potential

for humanity to soar.

 

Inside of you, and inside of me,

inside of all humanity,

slumbers the embers;

 hope for a better destiny.

 

It begins with you,

it begins with me,

we begin with compassion,

we begin with empathy.

 (Citizen X)

Enjoying life "old school"........

Slowly the coffin was lowered into the ground. The boy watched in silence, holding back his tears the best he could.

His grand father was gone, but he had left a letter for him.

Jimmy waited until the evening, then he went into his room, closed the door, and opened the letter.

 

"Dear Jimmy, I want you to know that I have always loved you and I always will.

Since I am not going to be around as you grow up, I thought I would write down a few of my thoughts that may be of assistance to you in the future.

Yes, I am using that old Remington to write this because old does not necessarily mean no longer functioning or of any use. What is it you kids call it? Old school...

Words are words whether they are written with a pen, using a typewriter or an I-thingy so when you write something, be aware of the power of the words you use. Words are so easily misunderstood.

I guess perhaps there are many things that could be considered "old school" for instance: writing music using a real instrument instead of using a virtual one, going for a jog outdoors in nature instead of jogging on a treadmill indoors in a gym, painting a painting with brushes and paints on a canvas instead of using a graphics tablet, using an analogue camera and having the film developed instead of using a digital one with instant image reproduction, cooking a meal from scratch instead of buying take-away or ready-made, using a landline for phone calls instead of a mobile phone, and so on.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that one is better than the other, my point is: new or old school, consider both.

Although you can listen to music in digital form, consider also going to live concerts and becoming a part of the interaction between the performer and the listener, although you can view works of art on an interface, consider also going to galleries and viewing them with the naked eye, although you can read books in a digital form, consider also going to libraries and holding books in your hand, smelling the paper, and feeling the weight of the words. Although you can travel the world with the mere click of a button, consider also taking a trip to places you have never been, and although you can play many games comfortably seated in front of your computer, consider also playing games in real life situations, with real people, face to face.

I guess what I am trying to say is that "digital" experiences are possible through technology, but they are only approximations of real experiences so there is always something missing such as the high resolution and granularity (details) of real life.

Real life on the other hand, provides you with sensory experiences such as smell, touch, taste, movement, temperature, pain, balance, and emotional responses, and these things, contribute to the richness of your life.

I know how you love that computer of yours and I'm not saying to stop enjoying using it, what I am trying to say I guess, is to remind you to remember to also enjoy life "old school".

Life is so short and so very precious, so smell it, listen to it, touch it, see it, and taste it.

Love grandpa"

 

Jimmy put the letter back in its envelope and stood still. He decided that it was okay now for him to allow his tears to be set free, so he began to cry quietly.

Through the tears he could see the green light flashing on his laptop asking him if he wanted to save his game. Slowly he walked up to the laptop and closed it. Resolutely he put the letter from his grand father in his back pocket, then left his room and walked outside.

Standing on the front porch he closed his eyes, smelt the air and then listened

to the sounds of life.