As an artist, I am often asked if I do nudes. To which my answer is; not really.
Is there a difference between naked or nude?
I believe so. To be nude is to be unclothed but to be naked is to be unclothed and vulnerable.
This image I classify as a nude, because the stance of this woman indicates to me that she does not feel vulnerable, rather, the opposite.
According to some statistics, there are millions of people with eating disorders ranging from compulsive over eating to hardly eating anything at all.
(Some stats from WHO on overweight and obesity: Globally, around 35% of adults aged 20 and over were overweight in 2008. Globally, around 12% of adults aged 20 and over were obese in 2008.)
What is happening to us? While millions upon millions of people die from not enough food, others die from too much food.
When I was living in the UK for a few years, I became friends with someone who called herself a "food addict". I had never come across the term before, so when she called me one afternoon and asked if I could come and speak with her because her food addiction was out of control, I was perplexed. Granted she was not a what I would call a "skinny" build, but in my view and considering that she had two very young children, she was still in the process of "getting back to normal".
"What do you mean with food addict?" I asked her.
"I can't seem to stop craving food," she answered. She continued with explaining to me how she would eat packet after packet of biscuits, cakes, muffins, etc. even at times frozen "sweet" foods straight out of the freezer. She was beside herself with shame, guilt and self-loathing.
"I do this behind every ones back, my husband doesn't know and neither does my parents", she explained. "Why, do you think you have this need to eat all the time?" I asked.
"I don't know, I don't know!!" my friend answered and began to quietly cry.
I asked her if you could describe what it was like for her growing up, was she over weight as a child, was she rewarded with food if she was upset, did she have any siblings with similar problems, when did she first begin to think of her eating habit as a food addiction and so on.
As we were talking about how food was treated in her home, she realised that food was used as cure-all-that ails-you solution. To cut a long story short; when ever she felt the urge to binge, she would phone me instead and we would talk about what/how she was feeling.
According to statistics, over-eating and other eating disorders, affects more and more people. (There are many sites)
Behind many compulsive behaviours, there is an unmet need. According to Wikipedia: "Compulsive behaviours are a need to reduce apprehension caused by internal feelings a person wants to abstain or control."
At times exactly what those needs are however, may be difficult to specify. Abraham Maslow suggests: A) physiological needs= basic survival needs such as food, shelter, air and water, B) security needs= feeling safe in ones environment, having work etc. C) social needs= belonging, friendship, love, affection D) esteem needs= self-esteem, personal worth, social recognition, accomplishment E) Self-actualisation= self-awareness, concerned with personal growth, less concerned with the opinions of others, and interested fulfilling their potential.
My friend used food as a way of self-soothing, others of us may use/choose alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping, and so on, thing is, what may originally be a momentary coping strategy, can easily become a habit with a whole new set of "needs" to be catered for.
No matter how many cookies my friend ate, it did not fill her need for self-acceptance or self-worth.
If you drink alcohol because it numbs your feelings of loneliness, perhaps it may be worth your while to consider another coping strategy that is emphatically connected to what you are feeling and needing and brings new friends into your life.
If you gamble because it brings feelings of excitement into your life, perhaps it may be worth your while to consider if there are other activities that can bring feelings of excitement into your life and or perhaps enquire why you feel there is a lack of excitement.
If you have a constant need for shopping, perhaps it may be worth your while to consider if perhaps shopping is a momentary solution to an underlying feeling of lack of substance in your life.
Understanding what our underlying unmet needs are may help us find coping strategies that enrich our lives rather than exponentially deplete them.
When my friend realised that she was trying to satisfy her "hunger" (need) for self-acceptance and feelings of self-worth with food, she also realised that there was not enough food in all the world to fill that need.
The "food" she needed, she decided, was to stop talking negatively to herself, to stop comparing herself with others, to acknowledge the positives, to be assertive, to have some fun, to take time out to enjoy her own company and to focus on the now.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
(Gautama Buddha)
“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalised and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”
(Michael J. Fox)
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