Helping others will make you feel better about yourself?

 

Many of us have grown up familiar with the term "the good Samaritan", but for those unfamiliar with it; a definition:

a parable/story which recounts the assistance given by a Samaritan traveller to an injured and robbed man (stranger) in spite of their conflicting religious and ethnic backgrounds. (From the new testament in the Bible)

The phrase "good Samaritan" is commonly known to mean someone who helps a stranger.

According to an experiment conducted on altruistic behaviour by Darley and Batson, a major explanation for people failing to stop and help someone in distress is dependent on how obsessed with time they are; being so concerned with their own world that at times someone in need of assistance may unwittingly become virtually "invisible" to them.

How quick are we to help others? What is the "altruistic (altruism=unselfish regard for the welfare of others) temperature" in today's society?

Put another way; how much do we care about/for others?

Albert Einstein: "A human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest --- a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal decisions and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty."

When was the last time we did something for someone else just because....

..............................we could, they needed us to, we wanted to?

 When we see someone in need, are we able to "see" without attaching moral judgement?

Should compassion be "earned"?

Is it harder to feel compassion for someone we think are not trying to help themselves?

 

"It took years before I realised that a friend of mine didn't come for visits just to "hang-out", but to "dry-out".

I ignored that he reeked of alcohol when I picked him up at the airport, I stayed calm when he raged against the failing music industry, I turned up the music when he was throwing up in the washroom, I gave him painkillers when he sat on the couch shivering and holding his head, and I listened for hours when he spoke of his heart disintegrating by the thoughtlessness of his beloved.

After a couple of days, he perked up. "Let's write some music together, like in the old days", he said.

It never happened.

Instead he went to the bottle shop and bought a casket of cheap wine. "Why are you drinking again Sam, you were only just starting to feel better", I asked. "Because I want to", he answered. I realised then that what may have once been a matter of choice no longer was one and that Sam's drinking had become a medical issue.  After five days I told Sam he had to leave, I could no longer cope with his loudness, anger, his continuous sarcasm and vitriol. We drove to the airport in silence. As I handed him his bag I said: "I really care about you Sam, but I can't cope with your drinking anymore. You are welcome to come and hang-out with me at my place, but you have to be sober to do so".

Sam looked at me and said: "Nah", flung the bag over his shoulder and vanished into the airport. I never heard or saw him again."

The interesting thing with helping others is that when we do, we feel better about ourselves. Although the therapeutic benefits of helping others have probably been recognised by us most of us for a long time, the concept was first formalised by Frank Riessman in an article published in "Social Work" in 1965 and as Darwin pointed out, "sympathy is evolutionarily advantageous because it is the basis of the altruism and pro-social helping that allows any tribe or group to flourish and survive".

So if we feel good about ourselves when we help others, is it not a selfish rather than un-selfish act?

Perhaps it doesn't have to be classified?

If we give/help without making a big deal about it, if we seek no acknowledgement for our act of charity/helping/giving, if we give/help because it is against our nature not to do so, perhaps its an un-selfish selfish act? :)

The Good Samaritan, so the story goes, did not care about the injured man's religious beliefs, his ethnicity; he cared for the human being and did what he could to ease the suffering.

 

"Even the smallest act of caring for another person is like a drop of water -it will make ripples throughout the entire pond...”
    (Jessy and Bryan Matteo)

 

Love is blind; but it makes you see the blind man; teetering on the roadside . . .”
(Martin Amis )

 

(In Europe and other countries, such as Australia (founded on English Common Law) there is something called "The Good Samaritan Law" which basically means that one has a moral obligation to help when one sees someone in trouble. In the United States it is not ones duty to rescue someone in trouble, but interesting to note is that in the series finale of Seinfeld (American sitcom) the shows four main characters were all prosecuted and sentenced to one year in jail for making fun of, rather than helping an overweight man who was being robbed at gunpoint.)