Even we speak the same language, sometimes it can seem as if we're speaking different languages. We say something we consider plain speaking yet the response from the person we are speaking with indicates a different interpretation. How does that happen? This may happen because what we say and what others hear, are two different things. So it can be helpful to ask the person you are speaking with what they heard you say to make sure that what they heard and what you tried to say, are the same.
Many words are "loaded", and what I mean with that is that there can be sublte judgement hidden in the word. For instance: All people on benefits are lazy, you put on a little weight, I do it this way, etc. Everytime terms like all, most, always, right, should, must, and many similar words are used, they can be interpretated as corrections and people may feel "put upon". Even if we feel strongly about something, and we are sure that our perception is "right", we need to remember that the other person may feel that their opinion and perception is equally "right", so for the communication to be friendly and to continue it may be advisable to add "in my opinon" or words to the effect at the end of a statement. We all enjoy speaking with people who listens to us openly and without prejudice, so when we do this for someone else we have a better chance of being understood and to understand.
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