Love is not a transaction.........

The trickiest thing with the word love is in my view that it means

so many different things to so many of us.

I mean, like how many different types of love is there?

For the longest time those in the know used to say that there

are four main kinds: Eros(romantic/passion), Agape(compassionate/

non-romantic), Philia(friendship) and Storage(family/close friends).

(These days some say that there are four more kinds of

interpretations of the word: Pragma, Ludus, Mania, and Philautia.

Let me clarify those terms for you: basically they mean Enduring,

Playful, Obsessive and Self-loving.

I, however, I will contend that those terms can easily be a part

of/belong in any of the Four Loves.)

We may say: I love cookies, ice-cream, pizza, dogs,

cats, rainy days, sunny days, flowers, trees, the ocean,

good food, good company, movies, music, etc. etc. etc.

I could go on ad. infinitum.........

 Personally, it seems to me that we use ''love'' rather

ubiquitously(very often) though I'm sure that ''like'' could

work as just well.

Why has the term love become so ubiquitous?(common)

I mean, the way we may love ''the sound of rolling waves''

is not the same way we love our mother or father.... is it?

The way we love our sports team is not the same as

the way we love our children..... is it?

The way we love a movie star is not the same way

we love our partners..... is it?

If we use the same word for our feelings for a pop-star

that we use for our partner, then how deep is our love?

Five love-emojis......15 love-emoji's?

This makes me ponder

how many times we have used a heart emoji to tell

someone that we care about them instead of words.

Emoji's, though I agree can be both useful and funny,

I none the less fear are making us verbally less

efficient and versatile rather than more proficient.

Not to mention how much easier it is to hide

behind a tiny cartoon-ish image than to actually

use precise words to be rude, sarcastic and downright mean.

Imaginative as we are, maybe one day we can skip

words all together and go back to hieroglyphics....?

It's been said that a ''picture paints a thousand words''

which I often find to be true.

But, I also find that a word can ''paint'' a great

many paintings. For example:

Winter-sun, weathered, panoramic, sparkling, shimmering,

futuristic, wind-blown, lovingly, etc. etc.

Not to mention how wordsmiths like Lao Tzu, 

Wordsworth, Shakespeare and Emilie Dickenson

with a few words could sum up the meaning of life.

Love. Romantic love.

Do you know that some stats say that more than

a hundred million songs have been composed

on the subject.

Well, mostly the romantic kind.

Love found, love lost, love beginning, love

ending, love answered, love un-answered,

love lasting, love never starting, secret love,

hidden love, forbidden love, and so on....

A friend of mine once asked me why I never

seem to write about love.

So I asked him what kind of love he meant.

-I mean love-love, he answered.

-What's love-love? I asked.

-Romantic, passionate love, he retorted.

-In that case, why don't you tell me what 

 you take that to mean, I said.

-I mean someone who knows what you need,

someone who is always there for you,

someone who loves you for who you are,

someone who listens to you and comforts you.

-George, stop. What you are describing to me

is not what I would call love-love or romantic love.

-Of course it is. What do you mean?

-As far as I can understand your definition of what

romantic love is, it seems more like a ''wish list'' of what 

you want from your ''lover'' rather than what

you want to share with someone you love.

For at least five minutes George said nothing.

He just sat there staring into somewhere else.

Finally I decided to say something.

-For me, love can not be bought with bags of money,

 Love is not a transaction nor is it

a service one can procure.

Love is not a mere word, it is acting with patience,

tenderness, commitment, compassion, loyalty

and an acceptance of the other as they are.''

-I see, I really do, George suddenly said and stood up

from the couch.

Slinging his bag of percussion instruments

over his shoulder he opened the front

door and then said: Thanks. I need to go see

my wife now. 

With those words he closed the door behind him

and left me somewhat bewildered, confused and perplexed,

.........staring at nothing.

Personally I do not like the inclusion 

of Pragma, Ludus, Mania, and Philautia

as part of the different kinds of love

us humans experience. 

However, I do hope to one day see the term

''Amor Artis''(Love of art) as a kind of very

succinct form of love that us humans experience.

*

about the images: Large canvas with paper shopping bags

glued on top. Then painted with acrylics.

And this morning edited in Elements.

Small painting of ''Pinocchio'' figures

embracing. Acrylic on canvas.