You are not alone.....though darkness surrounds you

Hope springs eternal, so some say.

When doubt comes knocking on your door,

send faith to answer it, so some say.

When darkness threatens to overwhelm you,

find a crack in it because that's where the

light can find a way in, so some say.

A single candle, no matter how small,

is able to dispel the darkest of darknesses,

so some say.

These sayings have always sustained me

and kept me hobbling, crawling, dragging myself

toward that spring, that crack, clinging to my

tiny candle trusting that it's little flame will

be enough to help me find my way 

out of the darkness.

 I rather be a candle than curse the darkness,

and I do love the ''chewiness'' of hope.

(How like a chewing gum it keeps sticking

to the bottom of your shoe no matter how

much you try to get rid of it.)

My faith however, or rather the lack thereof,

trying as it may to keep doubt out,

is showing signs of exhaustion and fatigue.

Doubt, like an insidious mist keeps finding

its way into my mind, my soul and my heart.

In a few days I will have to summon up

faith, hope and trust from somewhere so that

when the surgeons plunge their knives

into my son's body they will do so 

expertly and with the greatest of care.

And while I will be waiting for the result of

the operation, I will have to keep holding

on to my little candle, block the door to

 doubt, and keep my anxious heart beating.

Life presents us with many different doors

we must enter through, willingly or not.

Sometimes we are greeted by the unfamiliar,

the unexpected, the unknown and the most feared for.

Sometimes we are greeted by the familiar,

the expected, the dreamed and longed for.

Regardless of what greets us as we

enter through a new door,

deep within in us we have been given

the freedom, the gift of being able to choose

whether we will use this freedom, this gift,

to create within us a new purpose, a new

meaning and a new perspective of just how

uncertain and unpredictable 

but also beautiful and meaningful

is the life of every precious human being.

''Suffering ceases to be suffering

at the moment it finds meaning.''

(Victor Frankl)

If you, reading this, is going through

pain and suffering and feel as if

your little candle(of hope) is about to be 

snuffed out, know this:

You are not alone.

about the image: Graphite on paper

Title: Hang in there, Teddy.