You are not alone.....though darkness surrounds you

Hope springs eternal, so some say.

When doubt comes knocking on your door,

send faith to answer it, so some say.

When darkness threatens to overwhelm you,

find a crack in it because that's where the

light can find a way in, so some say.

A single candle, no matter how small,

is able to dispel the darkest of darknesses,

so some say.

These sayings have always sustained me

and kept me hobbling, crawling, dragging myself

toward that spring, that crack, clinging to my

tiny candle trusting that it's little flame will

be enough to help me find my way 

out of the darkness.

 I rather be a candle than curse the darkness,

and I do love the ''chewiness'' of hope.

(How like a chewing gum it keeps sticking

to the bottom of your shoe no matter how

much you try to get rid of it.)

My faith however, or rather the lack thereof,

trying as it may to keep doubt out,

is showing signs of exhaustion and fatigue.

Doubt, like an insidious mist keeps finding

its way into my mind, my soul and my heart.

In a few days I will have to summon up

faith, hope and trust from somewhere so that

when the surgeons plunge their knives

into my son's body they will do so 

expertly and with the greatest of care.

And while I will be waiting for the result of

the operation, I will have to keep holding

on to my little candle, block the door to

 doubt, and keep my anxious heart beating.

Life presents us with many different doors

we must enter through, willingly or not.

Sometimes we are greeted by the unfamiliar,

the unexpected, the unknown and the most feared for.

Sometimes we are greeted by the familiar,

the expected, the dreamed and longed for.

Regardless of what greets us as we

enter through a new door,

deep within in us we have been given

the freedom, the gift of being able to choose

whether we will use this freedom, this gift,

to create within us a new purpose, a new

meaning and a new perspective of just how

uncertain and unpredictable 

but also beautiful and meaningful

is the life of every precious human being.

''Suffering ceases to be suffering

at the moment it finds meaning.''

(Victor Frankl)

If you, reading this, is going through

pain and suffering and feel as if

your little candle(of hope) is about to be 

snuffed out, know this:

You are not alone.

about the image: Graphite on paper

Title: Hang in there, Teddy.

Be empathetic, it feels good.....and makes others feel good too

 Browsing through a bin of old magazines in a bookshop I came across

an old People Magazine.

Flicking through the pages I found a section called Vintage photos

from the 1930's Depression in the USA.

Though there were a number of very thought provoking

images, there was one photo that spoke straight to my heart.

After reading the short story that was attached to the image

I decided that I had to try to do a painting that somehow

incorporated parts of the story in the painting.

The story:

Among the numerous suffering and starving people

who were experiencing droughts, dust storms, lost livelihoods 

and lost crops, there was a doctor, who by foot tirelessly 

walked the Southern Great Plains offering free medical

assistance to everyone, wherever he went.

*

Watching a video essay together with my son a few

nights ago, we heard the speaker utter these words:

 ''Empathy is a sin.''

The fact that the speaker was a preacher, made us look

at each other in disbelief and yell:

 ''What?!? Did he really say that?''

Having spent the last 25 years of my life absolutely

committed to accumulating as much information

as possible through thorough research founded on

accredited sources, accepted peer reviews, 

and sources globally acknowledged by other experts in

 the field,.........I can say this with confidence:

''Empathy is a sin'' is the very antithetical(opposite) of what most

religious/spiritual/wisdoms texts exhorts.

See, not only did he say that empathy is a sin, but he also said 

that it is a ''weakness''?!!!? Yikes!!!

Does that mean that sympathy and compassion in his view

 are weaknesses as well?

What about kindness? Caring?

In my view, all words are mere approximations.

With this I mean that we attach our own interpretations,

experiences and unconscious biases to the words we

and others use. 

Whatever our definition of empathy may be, just imagine 

a world void of it, or void of compassion and sympathy.

A world in which caring and being kind to others is

a ''bad'' thing, a sign of weakness.

As far as I can ascertain the fact that us humans are able

to express and experience compassion and empathy

for others is one of mankind's most redeeming 

qualities.

Empathy, may I suggest, is the opposite of self-absorption

and narcissism. It's stepping out of one's own ''bubble''

of existence and feel strong enough in one self to be

 able to recognize and identify with others when

they experience struggles and difficult times.

Empathy, rather than making us weaker makes us stronger

because it helps us to foster stronger and deeper relationships

with others.

This in turn promotes a deeper insight and understanding of

each other. A foundation upon which we can build a

compassionate and inclusive community/society.

The words sympathy and empathy are often viewed

as meaning the same thing, but in my view, they are two

different ''creatures''.

Sympathy, I interpret as to ''feeling for xyz'', empathy

I interpret as ''feeling with xyz''.

Compassion I interpret as different from sympathy and empathy

because in my view compassion includes a desire to want to help,

to act in some way that helps alleviate xyz's suffering/pain/etc. etc.

*

''Get a job!'' says the man to the beggar as hurries past him.

''Have some compassion'' says the beggar to the man.

The next day the man passes the beggar again.

''Still here? Begging instead of working, I see,'' says the

man to the beggar.

''Have some compassion,'' says the beggar to the man.

Weeks go by. Hurrying down the street the man passes the beggar.

''Still a loser I see,'' says the man to the beggar.

''Have some compassion,'' says the beggar to the man.

Months go by. Carrying a box with his things in it

the man walks past the spot where the beggar used to be.

The beggar is gone. 

Standing in line at the Job Centre its finally the man's turn.

''Sir, I've lost my job, I've lost

my family, I've lost my home. I need a job,'' says the man.

As he raises his head and looks at the person behind the

glass, he recognizes him. 

It's the beggar.

''Sir, please have some compassion,'' says the man.

The beggar looks the man straight into his eyes

and then says:

''Life can be tough sometimes, it can turn on a dime.

But with a little compassion, a kindly spoken word,

 a dark and dismal day can become rather fine.''

''In my view, the best of humanity is in our

exercise of empathy and compassion.

It's when we challenge ourselves to walk

in the shoes of someone whose pain or

plight might seem so different than yours

that it is almost incomprehensible.''

(Sarah McBride)

about the image: acrylic on large canvas, yellow ink, and

painted with a cloth, not brush