Instead of reaching for your phone, have a think about it........

What scares you the most?

Death? Sickness? Loneliness? Uncertainty? Methinks the list

may be so long that I could probably easily fill an A4 page,

but I won't.

What scares me tremendously is the thought that we,

the human race, thinking we are doing great and progressing

wonderfully, seem to be heading full flight towards a

precipice from which we may never return.

Smart as we may deem ourselves to be, why do we keep on

making the same mistakes over and over?

Has not history taught us that often the minute we invent

 something ''good'' for mankind, someone else figures out how

 to use it for something ''bad'' or that it may have drawbacks?

For example:

Cigarettes. Once deemed as ''good for you'' we now

know really isn't. Actually, they are deadly.

Plastics. Once deemed as a miracle invention due to

its flexibility, strength and durability. 

Bad because it's not biodegradable it just

breaks down into tiny little pieces that

leak toxic chemicals and ruins eco-systems.

Nuclear fission. Believed to be a zero-emissions

good clean energy source but bad because it leaves 

behind waste that remains indefinitely deadly.

Gunpowder. Good for blowing up stuff to

make way for progress and more living space.

Bad because it changed warfare the world over

and made it possible to make killing others

much more effective.

 The Internet. Good for bringing people together

and finding information quickly.

Bad because as well as having brought us ''closer'',

it has also provided a way for people with criminal

and or hurtful intent a way to do so while hiding behind

a ''veil'' of anonymity.

Smartphones. Good because it's like having a pocket

sized computer with all its many abilities always handy.

Bad because of the expectations of always being

on line and available.

(Sorry for not going in to details but I'm hoping you are

getting the point none the less.)

Technology for all the good it brings it can also 

bring psychological problems.

The National Library of Medicine has found that

constant connection to the net can have psychologically

negative ramifications such as: distraction, narcissism, anxiety,

sleep disorders, depression and instant gratification expectations,

etc. etc. etc.

Having said all that I have now come to my

actual worry: are we getting lazy at thinking

critically and deeply about important stuff?

There is research that indicates that an over-

reliance on technology is causing analytical

thinkers to think less deeply and intuitive

thinkers less intuitively and instead

rely on the offerings provided for them

via their smartphones.

We do need to use our brains

because if ''we don't use it,

we may lose it''.

There are things we can do to exercise our

brains because brains like muscles work better

when used.

Some examples:

Reading books, listening to music,

doing puzzles, learning a new skill,

learning a new language, thinking deeply,

building one's vocabulary, conversing face to face,

learning critical thinking skills, etc. etc.

''We may possess every technological resource......

but if our language is inadequate, our vision remains

formless, our thinking and feeling are still running

in the old cycles, our process may be 'revolutionary'

but not transformative.''

(Adrienne Rich)

''Critical thinking is not something you do once

with an issue and then drop it.

It requires that we update our knowledge

as new information comes in.''

(Daniel Levitin)

about the image: acrylic on large canvas

painted with only a cloth no brushes.

Loneliness ........is not the same as solitude.

-Loneliness?

-Yeah. What does it feel like?

-I think it's something we may all experience differently.

 For me, it's a feeling of standing naked on one leg 

facing everything I'm scared of whilst trying very 

hard not to fall.

-For you it feels like a balancing act?

-At times. Yes. 

A balancing act between solitude;

choosing one's own company,

and loneliness; 

not choosing one's own company.

Let me explain.

Some say that although us humans are more ''connected''

now than ever before, yet somehow, we are lonelier.

According to those in the know we are spending less

actual face time with others, friends, and family. 

We are also less involved in volunteering and

similar NPO's activities.

Some suggest that technology has replaced some of our

interactions that used to involve human to human

connections being made. This has contributed

to an increase for many of us to experiencing periods

of feeling lonely and ''left out''.

Are we perhaps experiencing going through some

 sort of technological detachment ''era'' since smartphones

and i-thingy's have made ''detachment connections''

so palatable and acceptable by just the touch

of a fingertip?

''Sorry, I was................ on my phone."

Some suggest that loneliness is a state of mind,

a human emotion that is complex and unique

to each of us. It's not necessary about being alone

but more so about feeling alone and left out.

Although it is possible to feel lonely in a crowd and

crowded when alone.

A person may desire to have more human to

human contact but due to a number of different

reasons such as anxiety, lack of confidence and or

self-esteem,  he/she may find it difficult to engage. 

When or if our social connections don't match with our

expectations thereof, we may find ourselves withdrawing

in to ourselves and by doing so often creating a downward spiral.

But here's some good news: Expectations can be changed.

And to do so we need to begin with asking ourselves:

Where do my expectations come from and do I really agree

with them?

Are my expectations helping me or holding me back?

If I am seeking to establish more deepfelt and authentic

friendships should I perhaps try:

''The best way to find a friend is to become one.''

(?)

Now to solitude.

''Solitude is the richness of self.''

(May Sarton)

Solitude in my view, is choosing to

spend time with one's self. 

It is balancing social time with time spent in

self-reflection, thoughtful introspection, stepping

in to the ''Zone'' whilst doing something one feels

passionate about, getting ''lost'' in books and or music, 

pondering some of the many wonders of life and living, 

remembering things to be grate/thankful for.

Taking the time to observe everything around one's self,

the smells, the sounds, the colours, the textures.

''Solitude is about being present with one's self

-------- it is not about the lack of company.''

(Citizen Z)

about the image: acrylic on canvas 

some editing in Elements

''Keeping the balance''

Suspiciousness is not the same as a little healthy skepticism.........

In the song ''Suspicious minds'' Elvis Presley sings:

''We can't build our dreams on suspicious minds''.

"The moment there is suspicion about a person's

motives, everything he/she does becomes tainted.''

(Mahatma Gandhi)

Is suspicion the same as mistrust?

If so, is not a little bit of mistrust or suspiciousness

(skepticism)at times perhaps quite helpful?

I mean, I seem to remember a saying: ''A little

bit of healthy skepticism can go a long way...''

As always with words, there's much ambiguity

and approximation when it comes to the interpretation.

As in: How much is ''a little bit''?

Exactly how does one define ''healthy skepticism''?

I am pretty sure that many ideas and dreams have

been ''snuffed out'' at their embryotic stage by

the words: ''Before you do that,

let me just offer you some healthy skepticism......''

''That sounds like a great idea, but have you

really thought it through? Not that I want to

be a skeptic or something.....

For good or for bad.

As I understand the word ''suspiciousness'', it is more than a 

little bit of skepticism, it is a hyperactive vigilance response,

as in: an elevated state of constantly ''scanning'' everything,

everybody and everywhere for potential ''threats'' of any kind.

Suspiciousness can become problematic if it makes

it difficult for us to form relationships with others

and to feel comfortable in new surroundings and situations.

It can also cause us trouble when we believe/view all

our suspicious thoughts to be true and see them as facts.

Once we do so we often tend to only notice that

which confirms our thoughts/beliefs and disregard

that which does not. (Confirmation bias)

There is a degree of low-level suspiciousness 

(healthy skepticism)inherent in most of us which serves for

the purpose of self-preservation, however,

suspiciousness when unchallenged, un-scrutinized,

 can lead to behaviour patterns

such as jealousy, obsession, and or anxiety that

may result in causing many difficulties and problems

as a consequence thereof.

In short, if we constantly distrust others and

search for ulterior motives behind what they say and do,

the chances are that we will find such.

Not necessarily because it's true, but because we believe it

to be so.

Some years ago when my anxiety was ''over the top''

I came across something called ''self-help tools''.

Basically one writes down some helpful words/sentences

 on a card/s that one carries with one.

For example:

When I could feel myself getting anxious I would

read one of these cards and it helped me to

move from an emotional mind to a thinking mind.

If you are battling with a suspicious mindset,

anxiety, depression or deepfelt insecurities,

perhaps you too can find comfort and relief

with the assistance of some of

your own self-help cards?

''Suspiciousness suffocates not only the person

who is at the brunt of it,

but also the person who is

the bearer of it.''

(Citizen Z)

about the image: acrylic on large poster paper

Title: in English: The Third Man

Made as an homage to the 1949 movie ''The Third Man'', directed by

Carol Reed and featuring Orson Wells