Resilience.
Resilience is the ability to recover from traumatic/difficult
life experiences and setbacks and find a way to adapt, to ''move
forward''.
(Moving forward, as in withstanding the storms
and turmoil that life sometimes sends our way in a
positive and life-affirming way. In psychology this is
called post-traumatic growth.)
Why do some people seem to be able to ''get back up''
no matter how many times they get knocked down,
and some others don't?
In other words, is resilience something some of us
are born with or is it something we acquire through
our ability to deal with life's many twists and turns?
As far as I can ascertain, genetics and upbringing
play a part in how resilient we are, but resilience
can be developed and improved on regardless.
Resilience, says those in the know, is an innate human
capacity that can be learned and developed by/in anyone.
Question is, if we all have the capacity to be resilient,
why do some of us seem to be ''better'' at it
than others?
Dr. Southwick, professor emeritus of psychiatry and
co-author of the book ''Resilience: The science of
mastering life's greatest challenges.'' has this to
say: ''Resilient people learn to carefully accept
what they can't change about a situation and
then ask themselves what they can actually change.''
Resilience, unlike for instance our height(/how tall we are),
is something we can actually change, improve on,
get better at, ...grow.
How? you may ask.
I have noticed that people who have the habit
of ''getting up again'' when they get knocked down
seem to share a number of traits.
When something difficult/bad happens they:
They appraise the situation carefully,
they decide what they can and can't change,
they adapt,
they keep a flexible outlook,
they maintain a sense of perspective,
they focus on problem solving,
they are aware of their own emotions,
they find something of value in the experience
to mention a few attributes.
''Persistence and resilience only come from
having been given the chance to work through
difficult problems.''
(Grever Tully)
about the image: ink on watercolor paper
''The tree that bends in the wind remains unbroken.''
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