Love is not something we fall in or out of....it's a choice.

Event though I have the fan on full speed and blowing straight

into my face, I'm still boiling hot.

I've disregarded sheets, blankets and any type of clothing,

and yet, I'm still sweating up a storm oozing with perspiration

from every pore on my body.

In desperation I grab a pair of socks, fill them with water,

squeeze them a little and then put them on.

I lay down on the bed feet directly in front of the fan.

Ahh, finally, I feel a little cooler and manage to fall

asleep.

Although I have celebrated a LOT of Christmases here

in Australia, I'm not sure that I will ever get used to

celebrating it at temperatures that melts candles, cheese

and butter into puddles even with the air-con on.

One thing with traditions in my view is that we like to keep

 many of them even when we venture off to take up residency

in new and traditionally/culturally different countries. 

In my family's case that has meant that we have kept up

with most of our Swedish culinary traditions as much

 as possible.

So in our case: boiled potatoes served with herring and sour cream,

 baked ham, warm sauerkraut, warm meatballs, a number

of different kinds of cheeses, fried little sausages, a

number of different kinds of salads, and much more.

Not really suited to a country in which the temperatures

at Christmas time usually soars way above 30 degrees Celsius.

Alas, this year we are doing Christmas the Aussie way.

We are having a BBQ.

As I am not doing any of the food this year I'm not

sure exactly what is going to be BBQed but I'm 

hoping that included on the menu is also a Pavlova.

Pavlova is a meringue-based desert with a crisp outer shell

and a melt-in-your-mouth soft fluffy center topped with

a LOT of whipped cream and masses of fresh fruit.

Absolutely scrumptious and well suited for a ''hot''

country such as Australia methinks.

Looking at the bottom of my screen I can see

that right now (1:12pm) it's 31 degrees cel. outside.

(Thank goodness that my old air-conditioner is still

holding on!)

Good grief! It's going to be another restless night.

Better get me wet socks ready.

This close to the end of the year, I would like

to jot down some thoughts.

Love is a choice.

It's not something we fall in to or out of.

Happiness is a choice.

It's not something we can buy or be traded out of.

Forgiveness is a choice.

It's not something others must do, it's something we need to do.

Caring is a choice.

It's not something we expect of others to do, it's something we

 need to freely give.

Compassion is a choice.

It's not something to be viewed as weakness, 

it's something to be viewed as strength.

Benevolence is a choice.

It's not something that belongs only to Christmas,

it's something to be practiced daily.

💗

For you who are reading this right now:

I wish you peace, love and much joy.

(Citizen Z)

about the image: Winter landscape, acrylic on canvas

                                                                                       

Pushing back the Darkness.........

There are days and then there are DAYS.

Days when the flickering light from

a small candle is powerful enough to

 push back the deepest of darknesses.

Days when no matter how strong and 

powerful the light, insidiously

 the darkness tries to consume it.

Thinking about how we use the terms

light and darkness metaphorically as in:

 light = good/positive/lifegiving and

 darkness = bad/negative/injurious,

I suddenly had a new thought.

What if light and darkness could be interpreted

not as oppositional terms but as complementary?

Can there be light without darkness?

Do we need to know darkness to know light?

(The Shadow ID)

''The sole purpose of human existence is

to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness

of mere being. We cannot change anything

unless we accept it. How can we be substantial

unless we cast a shadow?

We must have a dark side also if we are to be whole.''

(Carl Jung)

Although it varies from person to person how

we may experience ''the darkness'', or our

''shadow selves'', in my view, often

emotions such as a sense of chaos, meaninglessness,

helplessness, confusion and a profound sense of

sadness somehow tend to accompany the darkness

and our shadow selves.

At times we may even experience ''the darkness''

as a collapse of all that makes life meaningful to us

and this, speaking from personal experience,

can be really scary.

But......

it also opens up the possibility for a transformation,

for a new way of seeing, interpreting and understanding

who we are and what makes life meaningful for us.

Change does not come easy for us humans,

and in my opinion, usually it tends to involve pain,

however........

pain, is often a very good teacher.

Have you ever done something in the heat of

 the moment only to really regret it later?

Perhaps even asking yourself why you did something

so out of character?

-I'm not that sort of person! you may tell yourself.

The regret you feel suddenly makes you question 

whether you may actually be that sort of person.

Looking at yourself in the mirror suddenly

the Shadow looks back at you and dark thoughts

slowly creeps into your mind and throws light

on something you've kept hidden.

It hurts, you don't like the pain, but you can't

unknow what you now know, so you have 

to make a decision.

Avoid all mirrors in the future or throw

some light on the Shadow and deal with it.

Light is a great disinfectant.

Exposing wounds to light helps them to heal.

When the ''darkness'' makes its presence known

to us, perhaps it's trying to tell us that it

is time for us to throw some ''light''

on the state of our souls, hearts and minds.

about the images: ''The power of Light''

:ink, graphite on water colour paper

Bellow: The Shadow, acrylic on large canvas

I get knocked down but I get up again.....how to be resilient

Resilience.

Resilience is the ability to recover from traumatic/difficult

life experiences and setbacks and find a way to adapt, to ''move

forward''.

 (Moving forward, as in withstanding the storms

and turmoil that life sometimes sends our way in a

 positive and life-affirming way. In psychology this is

called post-traumatic growth.)

Why do some people seem to be able to ''get back up''

no matter how many times they get knocked down,

and some others don't?

In other words, is resilience something some of us

are born with or is it something we acquire through

our ability to deal with life's many twists and turns?

As far as I can ascertain, genetics and upbringing

play a part in how resilient we are, but resilience

can be developed and improved on regardless.

Resilience, says those in the know, is an innate human

capacity that can be learned and developed by/in anyone.

Question is, if we all have the capacity to be resilient,

why do some of us seem to be ''better'' at it

than others?

Dr. Southwick, professor emeritus of psychiatry and

co-author of the book ''Resilience: The science of

mastering life's greatest challenges.'' has this to

say: ''Resilient people learn to carefully accept

what they can't change about a situation and

then ask themselves what they can actually change.''

Resilience, unlike for instance our height(/how tall we are), 

is something we can actually change, improve on, 

get better at, ...grow.

How? you may ask.

I have noticed that people who have the habit 

of ''getting up again'' when they get knocked down 

seem to share a number of traits.

When something difficult/bad happens they:

They appraise the situation carefully,

they decide what they can and can't change,

they adapt,

they keep a flexible outlook,

they maintain a sense of perspective,

they focus on problem solving,

they are aware of their own emotions,

they find something of value in the experience

to mention a few attributes.

''Persistence and resilience only come from

having been given the chance to work through

difficult problems.''

(Grever Tully)

about the image: ink on watercolor paper

''The tree that bends in the wind remains unbroken.''