Dealing with ''storms......

 Suddenly a storm hit.

The sky turned white with lightning, roaring winds shook the

trees and violent rain pounded the windows.

Lovecraft, the cat, screeched and vanished upstairs and

I turned off everything electrical.

Suddenly the phone rang and made me jump out of my skin.

I ignored it remembering being told as a child never to 

speak on the phone during storms.

(Some say it's silly to be scared of a bit of bad weather, but

having witnessed two balls of lightning and a telephone

(not a mobile)blow up....let's say I have a healthy respect

for ''bad weather''.)

Crash! Bang! Dead branches hit the deck.

Looking out at my deck to see if the branches had smashed

my outdoor glass table I noticed that my table umbrella

was about to take off.

''Not this time you're not'' I said to myself and ran out

to save my umbrella. The wind was so strong I could barely

fold it but I was determined to not let a storm steal another

umbrella from me.

Safely back indoors my son told me I needed to take him to

the ER again. Storm on the outside and ''storm'' inside of me.

My son was distraught, anxious, scared and in a lot of pain.

I dropped him off at the ER and with my heart

thumping and my mind racing I drove back home.

When I opened the front door I was greeted by the cat who

insisted on being feed...Again!

Food? The mere thought of it made me feel nauseous

and the smell of the cat food did little to settle my stomach.

Eek. I opted for strong coffee and a cigarette.

When the bad weather had finally dissipated I turned on the

TV and distracted myself by watching the FIFA World Cup.

But my mind kept racing.

Would my son finally get some help?

 Would they take him seriously or just treat him with 

contempt and hand him some painkillers and send him

home?

Was there something else I could be doing to help him?

Calm. I needed to stay calm. I needed to push away

 feelings of despair and helplessness that were

threatening to eat me up.

''Whatever the outcome, you can deal with it'' I told myself.

Having spent hours upon hours worrying about my son's

well being I have discovered that doing stuff, (but mostly

sorting or cleaning) seems to give me a sense of control.

So while I was waiting to hear from my son I decided

to sweep the deck, clean out the fridge, vacuum the floor,

and tidy the books.

''I may not be able to control what happens at the ER, 

but I can control how clean and tidy my place is''

was my thinking.

Two hours later I picked up my son who was

ropable as once again the Healthcare system had let him down.

As we arrived home I took a very deep breath and prepared

myself for yet another ''storm''.

In a lifetime most of us go through a number of

different ''storms''.

We may be able to somewhat predict and prepare 

for storms but usually we can't control them.

Storms are a part of life, right?

But what are we supposed to do when they don't

seem to pass?

''Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....

it's about learning to dance in the rain.''

(Vivien Greene)

As an avid reader I have come across a lot of

awesome ''one-liners'', sayings, and aphorisms.

I used to think little of the usefulness of

such until I read a book in which I came across

the term ''self-talk''.

Apparently we all engage in self-talk and the 

book suggested that there are three different types of

self-talk: Positive, Negative and Instructional.

Example: There's a storm coming.

Negative self-talk: Oh no, not another bloody storm.

What damage is it going to do this time!

Positive self-talk: Alright, there's another storm coming.

Well, I've been through storms before and I will

get through this one too.

Instructional self-talk: There's another storm coming.

Okay, let's batten down the hatches and stay alert.

Self-talk is that inner dialogue we all have

with ourselves and it is reflective of our beliefs,

and biases, ... although we may not be aware of it.

(In psychology it is called Internal Dialogue)

Personally, once I became aware of my self-talk I realized

just how much of it was negative and critical.

So I decided to change it.

Beginning by: becoming aware of it, questioning it,

and reframing it.(Change it)

And, importantly, exclude as many ''absolutes''

as possible. Exchanging: everybody>some people,

 everything>something, always>sometimes,

too hard>challenging, impossible>tricky,

etc. etc. etc.

Another storm? Bring it on...

''we only have to deal with todays ''storms''

because tomorrow's storms are not yet here.''

(Citizen Z)

about the image: oil pastels on cardboard

and some editing in Photoshop

Title:

''Every storm runs out of rain just like

every dark night turns into day.''

(Gary Allan Running)