Dealing with ''storms......

 Suddenly a storm hit.

The sky turned white with lightning, roaring winds shook the

trees and violent rain pounded the windows.

Lovecraft, the cat, screeched and vanished upstairs and

I turned off everything electrical.

Suddenly the phone rang and made me jump out of my skin.

I ignored it remembering being told as a child never to 

speak on the phone during storms.

(Some say it's silly to be scared of a bit of bad weather, but

having witnessed two balls of lightning and a telephone

(not a mobile)blow up....let's say I have a healthy respect

for ''bad weather''.)

Crash! Bang! Dead branches hit the deck.

Looking out at my deck to see if the branches had smashed

my outdoor glass table I noticed that my table umbrella

was about to take off.

''Not this time you're not'' I said to myself and ran out

to save my umbrella. The wind was so strong I could barely

fold it but I was determined to not let a storm steal another

umbrella from me.

Safely back indoors my son told me I needed to take him to

the ER again. Storm on the outside and ''storm'' inside of me.

My son was distraught, anxious, scared and in a lot of pain.

I dropped him off at the ER and with my heart

thumping and my mind racing I drove back home.

When I opened the front door I was greeted by the cat who

insisted on being feed...Again!

Food? The mere thought of it made me feel nauseous

and the smell of the cat food did little to settle my stomach.

Eek. I opted for strong coffee and a cigarette.

When the bad weather had finally dissipated I turned on the

TV and distracted myself by watching the FIFA World Cup.

But my mind kept racing.

Would my son finally get some help?

 Would they take him seriously or just treat him with 

contempt and hand him some painkillers and send him

home?

Was there something else I could be doing to help him?

Calm. I needed to stay calm. I needed to push away

 feelings of despair and helplessness that were

threatening to eat me up.

''Whatever the outcome, you can deal with it'' I told myself.

Having spent hours upon hours worrying about my son's

well being I have discovered that doing stuff, (but mostly

sorting or cleaning) seems to give me a sense of control.

So while I was waiting to hear from my son I decided

to sweep the deck, clean out the fridge, vacuum the floor,

and tidy the books.

''I may not be able to control what happens at the ER, 

but I can control how clean and tidy my place is''

was my thinking.

Two hours later I picked up my son who was

ropable as once again the Healthcare system had let him down.

As we arrived home I took a very deep breath and prepared

myself for yet another ''storm''.

In a lifetime most of us go through a number of

different ''storms''.

We may be able to somewhat predict and prepare 

for storms but usually we can't control them.

Storms are a part of life, right?

But what are we supposed to do when they don't

seem to pass?

''Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....

it's about learning to dance in the rain.''

(Vivien Greene)

As an avid reader I have come across a lot of

awesome ''one-liners'', sayings, and aphorisms.

I used to think little of the usefulness of

such until I read a book in which I came across

the term ''self-talk''.

Apparently we all engage in self-talk and the 

book suggested that there are three different types of

self-talk: Positive, Negative and Instructional.

Example: There's a storm coming.

Negative self-talk: Oh no, not another bloody storm.

What damage is it going to do this time!

Positive self-talk: Alright, there's another storm coming.

Well, I've been through storms before and I will

get through this one too.

Instructional self-talk: There's another storm coming.

Okay, let's batten down the hatches and stay alert.

Self-talk is that inner dialogue we all have

with ourselves and it is reflective of our beliefs,

and biases, ... although we may not be aware of it.

(In psychology it is called Internal Dialogue)

Personally, once I became aware of my self-talk I realized

just how much of it was negative and critical.

So I decided to change it.

Beginning by: becoming aware of it, questioning it,

and reframing it.(Change it)

And, importantly, exclude as many ''absolutes''

as possible. Exchanging: everybody>some people,

 everything>something, always>sometimes,

too hard>challenging, impossible>tricky,

etc. etc. etc.

Another storm? Bring it on...

''we only have to deal with todays ''storms''

because tomorrow's storms are not yet here.''

(Citizen Z)

about the image: oil pastels on cardboard

and some editing in Photoshop

Title:

''Every storm runs out of rain just like

every dark night turns into day.''

(Gary Allan Running)

Can time really fly?..........

Time is one of those things that does not exist as an

 independent entity.

Rather, it is merely an ''instrument'' that we use to measure

the spatial position of objects relative to each other.

Time, perhaps we could say, exists as a cognitive instrument for 

measuring change.

The thing with time is that we use the term as if it ''real'',

something tangible, but is it?

Many of us may think of time in terms of clock faces, almanacs,

 calendars, the movement of the sun and the moon etc.

but here's the thing: time has no physical properties.

But, regardless of how we define time, for human 

beings,..... time matters.

Irrespective of how we measure time, on this planet

we call earth, it seems almost everything has a beginning

and an end. Although, sometimes the ''end'' may be more

of a transformation from one entity to another.

Take butterflies for instance. They go through four

metamorphic stages: from egg to lava to pupa to adult.

Once they become winged butterflies, in human terms

they usually live for two to three weeks.

Science says that everything alive will eventually die,

that we cannot have life without death.

Uncomfortable as that truth may be, is there not also

something beautiful in it? Life becoming ever so precious 

 because it will not last forever...?

Even us humans go through metamorphic stages:

from embryo to (if we are fortunate enough) to senior

citizens.

Each stage we experience lasts for a certain amount of time

and affects how we experience our bodies and minds.

And as time passes, how we spend it, and who we spend

 it with, for many of us tend to become more and more

important.

Time, as far as we know, only moves in a forward direction.

Except, for in our minds.

Our minds(another intangible human construct) may I

suggest, can be viewed as ''time machines''.

With our minds we can ''travel'' back in time with the help

of memories, we can travel into the future with the

help of our imagination, or we can use our minds

to help us to be firmly fixed on the present.

Although we can shift from the past to the future in a

split second, we can only ever live in the present.

And the present, shifts from the present to the past

in a millisecond because, as science has established,

what we call ''time'' always moves forward.

Although time always moves forward it can be experienced

in a number of different ways:

''time flies, time stands still, we can be ahead of time, 

behind time, we can experience

bad times, good times, uncertain times.

We can live on borrowed time, we can calculate

estimated time, we can be wasting time, saving time,

 killing time, etc. etc. etc.''

How we experience the passing of time often has a lot to do 

with what we are doing.

Having a root canal ->slow,   having fun ->fast,

waiting for a teenager to come home -> super slow,

having a relaxing massage ->super fast,   waiting for

the bus, train, tram etc. -> slow,   watching a good movie

->fast..........and so on.

Perhaps ascribing an assortment of qualities and other

 attributes to time may be a feeble

 attempt on our behalf in order to make time seem more

 ''real'', more tangible because, us humans methinks,

 do not like uncertainty or the ''unknown''.

We can worry about the future but not the past.

We can have regrets about the past but not the future.

We can't rewrite the past nor know what will happen 

in the future, we can only control what we will do right now.

If we are stuck between the past and what may

be in the future, the present moment will be lost.

For well being and good health I believe a good

thing to do is to set our ''time machines''

to NOW as often as possible.

''Know the true value of time; snatch, seize and

enjoy every moment of it.

No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never

put off till tomorrow what you can do today.''

(Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield)

about the image: acrylic on large canvas

''I think I'm just gonna sit now''

Peace, please.........

  

''Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue,

a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence,

confidence, and justice.''

(Baruch Spinoza)

More than anything else, most of us humans want to be ''right''.

We often don't deal well with being told that we are ''wrong''.

-Wrong you say?! 

-Yeah, you're wrong!!!

-No, I'm not! I'm right and you're wrong!!

-Yeah, well if that's the case, prove it!

-I will. I'll prove it!

These days it can be hard to prove anything.

Photos can be edited, recordings whether they be

audio or video can be edited, and facts can be viewed

as ''alternative''.

-That's not a fact, that's an opinion!

-What's the source of that information?

Words are ambiguous.

 In my view, often mere approximations

since whatever words we use our words are filtered

through our individual biases.

Biases can be quite insidious and often we are not

even aware of having them.

When we decide whether we deem something to be

true or false, right or wrong, our decision making is

influenced by a number of cognitive biases.

For instance:

We tend to say that others did something because of

their character or personality, whereas we often attribute

our own actions to circumstances or happenstance.

(Actor-observer bias)

What we learn early in life often has a bigger impact

on how we judge events and experiences than we do later

in life. (Anchoring bias)

We often tend to focus our attention on information

that we agree with and disregard other kinds of information.

(Attentional bias)

We seek out information that confirms what we already

think and believe. (Confirmation bias)

We blame outside forces when things go wrong,

and take the credit when things go right.

(Self-serving bias)

And so on. There's a lot more..........

The thing is...cognitive biases affect most of our decision making

processes and how we view/judge events and experiences. 

To be a human as far as I can ascertain, is to be biased.

 But more often than not we are unaware of our

biases .......as in for us ''that's the way it is, it's the truth,

the only way to see it.....etc.''

If us ''worker bees'' get into arguments, disputes, clash or

get into conflict over different issues....well, that's

just ''life''..... but what happens when the powerful, 

the 1%'ers, and those who govern our countries do?

Nothing good. 

War happens.

Massacres happens.

Innocent lives getting extinguished happens.

Cities, towns and villages turned into rubble happens.

The social and economic fabric of countries

becoming disrupted leaving communities and

families devastated happens.

Whatever the reason, be it religious, economical, 

political or ideological.....war... in my view is never

the answer.

Peace is. Mediation and arbitration is.

Those in power sitting down at a conference table

and addressing their contentious issues is.

Diplomacy and peaceful problem solving is.

''Peace is a daily, weekly, monthly process,

gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old

barriers, quietly building new structures.''

(John F. Kennedy)

''War is only a cowardly escape from the

problems of peace.''

(Thomas Mann)

''A peaceful heart seeks a peaceful life.

Peace begins in each of our hearts.''

(Citizen Z)

about the image: ink and coloured pencils on paper.

Title: ''Peace, please.''