One of the determining factors as to why I decided
to emigrate to Australia is that I've found most
Australians to be particularly quick to ''lend a hand''.
I have lost count on how many times strangers have
come to my rescue when I have had car troubles, when
I have lugged my music equipment in and out of different
venues, or when giving me advice on how to deal with stings or
bites by one of Australia's many nasty insects.
When the country is going through bush fires, droughts or floods,
people rally and help each other out.
The way I see it, there really is an underlying spirit of ''mateship''
here in Australia.
(Which may be the case in other countries as well, I hope.)
When we struggle it can be easy to forget that others struggle too.
Sometimes, in my view, we can become so cocooned in our own problems
and difficulties that we may become dispassionate toward other
people's hardships.
''Yeah, I know he/she is going through a hard time but I have
enough problems of my own.''
''I'm sorry I can't help you, I have my own stuff to deal with.''
''I know they are going through a lot, but aren't we all?''
''Each to their own, I don't want to get involved.''
While practicing the piano one afternoon I could hear
my neighbour's fighting. I could hear the woman crying and
the man yelling. It sounded really scary. I felt I had to do something.
But, just as I was about to run across the road to my neighbour's place
my partner showed up.
-Where are you going?
-Bob and Stacy are fighting, I have to do something before someone
gets hurt.
-Don't. It's none of our business, don't get involved.
So I didn't. I listened to my partner. I shouldn't have.
Not wanting to get involved is not a good enough reason
(in my view) to ignore someone's tears.
I have learned that if I pretend that something is not
of concern to me when truthfully it is, I lose a piece of
my humanity. Being a human being on a planet inhabited
by a lot of other human beings all equipped with mirror neurons,
makes us all involved.
Marco lacoboni, Professor of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences,
has this to say: ''Our social dimension would be completely
destroyed without mirror neurons.''
(Mirror neuron= monkey see, monkey do. When we someone cry,
or laugh, we subconsciously ''mirror'' the emotion.)
However, we can choose not to respond to our mirror neurons.
We can pretend not to see drunk on the train, the bully bullying
someone, the man/woman holding a sign saying ''homeless'',
the child crying, the person in a wheelchair pushing a heavily
loaded shopping cart, the old person struggling with his/her
parcels, the person acting ''weirdly'', the teenager harassing
another teenager, etc. etc.
''As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands-
one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.''
(Audrey Hepburn)
Have you ever noticed that when you help someone, somehow that
makes you feel good about you?
According to those in the know, the reason we experience those
positive feelings associated with helping others is that
being pro-social reinforces our sense of relatedness to others.
One of our most basic needs is to feel that we belong.
Belonging, so research say, is crucial to our life satisfaction,
our sense of happiness, and our mental and physical health.
A simple gesture such as ''reaching out a hand'' has the potential
of making someone feel a sense of acknowledgement
and belonging.
In these turbulent times with so many of us feeling
lost, confused and alone,
put down your i-thingy, your pad, your phone,
and reach out to someone you do not know
with a simple smile,
a simple ''hello''.
And should you see someone in need,
reach out a hand and do a good deed.
''Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness,
to pull another hand into the light.''
(Norman B. Rice)
about the image: acrylic on paper, some editing
in Elements (By the way,...There's a face in the hand.)
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