She looked at me and said: ''How does an introverted
person like you deal with performing in front of an audience?''
-Introverted? I was puzzled.
''What do you mean with introverted? I responded.
''Well, I mean that you are a very internally driven person.''
Many years have passed since that conversation so I'm
not even sure if the terms ''extroverted'' and ''introverted'' are still
being used by psychologists.
None the less, for the purpose of this post I am still going to use
those terms.
A psychologist by the name of Carl Jung began using these terms
during the 1920's: ''Introverts turn to their own minds to
recharge their energies, extroverts seek out other people for
their energy needs.''
In my view; introverts often seek answers to their ''dilemmas''
within their own(but not always) inner beings,
extroverts often prefers(but not always) doing so in the company
of someone.
And then there are ''ambiverts''; swinging between the two
(extrovert/introvert)depending on circumstances, mindset at
the time and emotional state.
The first time I looked up the word introvert I found the
definitions quite disparaging: wallflower, brooder, loner,
reclusive, shy, quiet, etc. etc. Hmm, not terribly encouraging.
What about extrovert then? Extrovert: outgoing, sociable,
gregarious, friendly, lively, people-orientated, etc. etc.
Obviously a preferable personality trait.
Being an introvert I instantly started to analyze and deeply
ponder all aspects of the definitions I came across.
Shy? Is that not an emotion rather than a trait?
Don't we all have times when we choose a bit of peace and
quiet rather than company?
To observe and ponder before we act?
To think before we speak?
What I found when I was researching introversion was what
I would view as bias.(Bias, as in partiality and prejudice.)
''Introverts are ''unfriendly'', hard to get to know, prefer their
own company, whereas extroverts are friendly, open, sociable,
etc....leaders.
Now, who gets to decide how much observing, thinking,
reflecting, acting, socializing, inter-acting, communicating,
talking, etc. etc. a person has to do in order for he/she to be
labeled an extrovert or introvert?
I mean, ask a self-professed introvert to define what an extrovert
is and the answer may be: someone who never shuts up and
can't stay still.
Or, ask an extrovert to define what an introvert is and the answer
may be: someone too wrapped up in their own thoughts to
notice life happening.
Perhaps we would be better off not using the terms
extrovert/introvert at all when we define our personalities?
Especially considering how we respond to most situations and circumstances
depends a lot on our emotional state at the time.
Some of us prefer to observe and think things through before
we act, and some of us prefer to go with our ''gut instinct''
and act instinctively.
Some of us enjoy spending a fair bit of time by ourselves, some of us enjoy
spending a lot of our time with friends.
Some of us prefer to be team players, some of us prefer to be
the leaders.
Some of us seek comfort in the company of others, some of find
comfort in being on our own.
Having said all this, in my view what is important to remember
is that we can all feel sad, lonely, left out, misunderstood,
not fitting in, uncertain and apprehensive at some time or another.
And knowing how that feels we can use that knowledge to support
and encourage someone else if he/she seems to be struggling.
Don't be bothered by my silence,
I wont be bothered by your noise.
I find strength in solitude and stillness,
you find yours in company and busyness.
Though different yet much the same,
to love and be loved is still the game.
(Citizen Z)
''We move along the continuum of introvert
and extrovert behaviours and preferences all day long.''
(Patricia Weber)
about the image: water colour on paper
"Sometimes she felt sad''
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