Don't hide your vulnerability behind anger.......

 Although we do know a lot more about emotions these days,

in my view, they can still be rather perplexing at times.

While doing a course on crisis counseling a few years back

I discovered that when it came to truly understanding emotions

I was virtually an ignoramus.

Emotions, I learned, are often very complex and seldom

a singular psychological state.

Example: -How do you feel? 

-I feel angry.

-What does the anger feel like?

-Huh? It feels like anger.

''Emotions, according to Psychology Now, are more than just

a feeling, they are a complex blend of actions, expressions,

and internal changes to the body that occur in response

to the meaning we make of our environment''.

Anger, for instance, seldom occurs in isolation but is

usually preceded by other feelings, such as for instance

shame, guilt, and or pain.

Anger, some say, can at times be a substitute emotion.

Some of us may find it hard to deal with pain, whether it

be physical or psychological, so we try to hide our pain

behind our anger. Being angry (for some of us) often feels

 ''better'' than it feels to be in pain. 

Switching from pain to anger we basically switch our attention 

from ourselves to someone or something else

and thus we can temporarily escape our pain.

Commonly pain is often associated with vulnerability.

Feeling vulnerable is often associated with weakness,

whereas anger pontificates, beats its chest and feels

righteous.(Strong)

Anger makes us feel strong and justified, pain makes

us feel weak and fragile.

Some in the know say that some people may even

unconsciously develop a habit of transforming their

vulnerable feelings into anger in order to not have

to deal with them.

Problem is, doing so does not actually make those

vulnerable feelings disappear it merely distracts us from them.

Not until we address the root cause of our pain without anger

will we be able to overcome it.

Having said this I also need to say that some say that

there is something called ''healthy anger''.

As in: Observing and experiencing anger without being

overwhelmed by it and reacting to it.

Being able to communicate our feelings assertively

and effectively without any hostile undertones.

The better we understand our emotions the better we 

understand what we feeling and why.

Emotional awareness helps us to understand what we need

and what we want. This in turn helps us to understand

others and to build good relationships.

Emotions in my view are neither good nor bad,

but how we chose to express and communicate our emotions,

that we can do badly or well.

''Respect other people's feelings. It may mean

nothing to you, but it could mean everything to them.''

(Roy T. Bennett)

about the image: water colour on paper and quite

a bit of photoshopping

title: What about ME!!#@#!