Monday, 27 December 2021

All possibilities entertained.......


 The first snow.
There is no sound to herald its arrival, no thunder no lightning,
no stormy winds, just a subtle change in the air.
Like tiny perfectly sculpted works of art the snowflakes
gently drops from the skies and in doing so totally redressing
everything upon which it falls.
In total silence a heavy snowfall can transform a dark and
hostile looking country landscape into a glistening, sparkling
white wonderland.
Gone are the claw shaped leafless branches, the bristles,
the briars and the thorns. So too, the sharp edged rocks, and
the many, many, marks made by industrious humans. 
Ground frozen, silences the farming machinery, the
bleating animals, and the babbling brooks.
 Lakes and trees stay silent under the weight of layers of 
ice and snow.
Critters have gone into hiding and many birds have flown.
Snow, especially when voluminous, is a great transformer.
It transforms frozen fields and ponds into glistening
white plains, it blurs the ''sharp'' and brightens the light,
it mutes the loud and enhances the soft.

As a person who has had the fortune of having
experienced many winters, for me snow represents
transformation and a chance to scrutinize and challenge
 my perspectives.
Years ago I read somewhere: ''All possibilities entertained.''
Reading those words made me realize how often I would
fail to do so. 
We all have ''mindsets''. When we experience something
our mindsets kick in, (often before we have had the time to really
think properly about the experience) and we act accordingly.
(Sardines!!?? Yuck, no, I don't want any sardines!!
You don't like them? I've never had one, but I know I wont like it.)
Often the outcome of a single experience is enough for us to
settle on an ''absolute''. As in: ''All xxx tastes awful, everyone from xxx is
untrustworthy, everyone lies, cheats, steals, etc. etc.''
We make thousands of decisions everyday and as we are
creatures of habit we tend to decide once and then stick to it.
Seldom to we question ourselves: do I really like coffee, sleeping
on the right side, exercise every day, dress in xxx, etc. etc.?
We form opinions and attitudes, belief systems and physical
behaviour patterns that we feel are right for us and then
stick to them.
Often it takes something drastic for us to start challenging
our mindsets/attitudes/opinions.
Those words, ''All possibilities entertained'' flung open a
window in my mind and in came the words: are there
other possible ways to think, feel, view.... xxx?

''If you change the way you look at things,
the things you look at change.''
(Wayne Dyer)

Water, what is it?
Someone having a glass of water will say it is a liquid.
Someone tossing coal into a steam engine will say it is a 
vapor/steam.
Someone ice-skating on a frozen lake will say it is a solid.
Someone catching a snowflake on his/her tongue will say
it is all the above.
It's all a matter of perspective.


about the image: ''First day of snow"
Ink on paper

Tuesday, 14 December 2021

Resilience....a champion is someone who gets up when he can't.....(Jack Dempsey)



 On top of one of my many bookcases in my living room
 stands a glass vase with a bunch of tulips in it.
 One morning, while sitting on the couch and
having my morning coffee, I suddenly noticed
how the light streaming through the opened
front door fell on the tulips in such a way that suddenly 
they seemed luminous.
Although not really a ''flower'' sort of person, I couldn't 
help but be taken in by the beauty of the flowers.
I decided to take a photo of the tulips and then use the photo
as a reference to be used later for a water colour painting.
However, by the time I had my camera at the ready, the light
had changed and the luminosity dissipated.
Well, perhaps I can find another way to capture the
beauty of the tulips, I thought.
The above image is the result of ''another way''.

Things change. Often in spite of meticulous preparations 
and planning. Being able to come up with ''another way'',
to be flexible, to be able to think on one's feet, to be able to 
''swivel'' one's perspectives, and to be resilient, is in my view
a pre requisite for ''survival'' these days. (Perhaps this
has always been the case, but the speed with which
 technology is regularly changing life as we know it, 
I think a bit of resilience can often prove to be quite helpful.)
Resilience is important.
Resilience is that which makes us get up after we've
had a "fall'', whether we ''fell'' physically, emotionally,
psychologically or ''spiritually''.
Resiliency can be learned, acquired, and honed, but
according to some in ''the know'', it's not something we are born with. 
We can however, all develop and build up our resiliency.
Like any other skill, resilience can be improved with practice.
Perhaps a good beginning point for developing our resilience is to
give a thought to how we usually respond when we are faced with
hardships and difficulties.
Do we tend to put on a brave face and swallow our emotions, do we
pretend that ''all is well'', do we fall apart, do we ruminate,
do we talk about it with someone, or do we just throw our hands
in the air and give up?

Being aware of how we think about difficulties and
challenges is in my view paramount when it comes 
to developing resilience.
For instance:
Change is an inevitable part of life, do you fight it
or accept it?
Does your negative(unhelpful) thoughts supersede your
positive(helpful) thoughts?
Are you as aware of your strength's as your weaknesses? 
Do you tend to ruminate on your ''failures'' rather then
your accomplishments?

''As you think, so shall you be.''
Words penned by Wayne W. Dyer.

Finding life-affirming ways to cope with difficult life 
experiences builds/develops resilience.
(Life-affirming as in: a flexible attitude, an open mind, using
positive self-affirmations(I can do this), getting support from
friends/relatives, owning your emotions, and remembering
all the times you've faced difficulties and got through them.)

''Eventually, she decided to come out of the cupboard.
Hands still shaking, knee's still wobbly, heart still pounding.
Sun light greeted her, nay, almost blinded her,
as she opened her salt encrusted eyes
and braved a brand new day.'' (Citizen Z)

''A crisis is a great teacher. So, learn to love your crisis.
Going through it with an acceptance, and a seeking spirit,
you will emerge stronger, wiser and happy.''
(AVIS Viswanathan)

about the image: a photo shot with an old Canon IXUS,
minimal editing

Sunday, 5 December 2021

''I know you! he said. Are you sure? she answered.


 On the windowsill next to my dad's favourite chair stands
a miniature painting that I did for him.
 Instead of buying a generic card for one of his birthdays, why not
paint him a mini-painting, I thought.
(The size of the above image is the actual size of the painting.)

Since my father passed away just before Christmas last year, I have 
been trying to process the loss.
What I have concluded so far is that I didn't really know him.
I know stuff about him, like that he was very fuzzy about bread
being crispy, that for him music stopped being music in the late 60's,
for him red wine cured all ills, a good cheese was good for the soul,
socks were to be worn no matter how hot the temperature,
all insects had to die, technology was an inherent part of an American
conspiracy, exercise was to be avoided, people in general
were stoopid but politicians more so, etc. etc. etc.
I also know that he more often than not tried his best to be
the best person he could be.

Is it possible to really know somebody?
Are there perhaps different kinds of knowing?
Like: we know of somebody, we know about somebody,
we know somebody intimately, we may know what somebody
looks like, sounds like, behaves like, and so on....but does
that mean that we really, really, know him/her?
At what point in our inter actions with someone
 do we come to the conclusion that we really
know that someone?
When we know someone's likes and dislikes, habits,
tastes, behaviour patters, attitudes, values, morals, ethics, etc. etc.?
Knowing such things certainly helps us to think and feel that
we know someone. That is until that someone suddenly does
something we would probably consider to be ''out of character''.
Humans being humans, in my experience, can be and often are,
 unpredictable.
Certain circumstances, situations and pressures can influence us
in such ways that we may behave in for us un-characteristic ways.
A person who goes off to war often returns a different person,
which may also often be the case for a person who has experienced 
a serious traumatic event, illness, loss, rejection, or some other kind of
harrowing emotional experience.
Two of the most commonest triggers for uncharacteristic
behaviour changes however, is in my view alcohol and drugs. 
Some years ago I had to tell a very close musician friend to never
contact me again as her alcohol and drug abuse was out of control
and so was her behaviour. (This was very hard for me to do
as I loved my friend.)
(In truth, I have had to disassociate myself from many fellow
musicians for the same reason.)

Just a few weeks before my father passed I made a last attempt
at getting to know him.
His illness had changed him into a very angry man and I felt
that I no longer knew him no matter how hard I tried
to communicate with him.
''A wee little sparrow
though once a man.
He frets and he roars
as loudly as he can.''
The last time I saw him alive was in the hospital, merely 
skin and bones, yelling at me and the nurses at the top of his lungs.
He certainly took Dylan Thomas at his words: ''Do not go gently
into that good night; rage, rage against the dying of the light.''
I asked him if he wanted me to write down some words for my
 mother and though barely audible he said: ''Tell her I loved
her, it was always her."

Those were his last words spoken to me.
I know things about him, both good and bad,
but I never really got to know him,
and that's real sad.

I do take comfort in knowing that for years 
he kept my little painting next to him as 
sat in his chair.


''Knowing your own darkness is the best method for
dealing with the darknesses of other people.''
(Carl Jung)

about the image: acrylic on board