The first word in the letter said: ''Congratulation! You have
won a 1.000 pound voucher at Boosey & Hawkes.''
''How?'' I wondered. When I bought something in a music shop in
London my receipt had apparently been entered into a
competition and as luck would have it, I won.
Going back to the shop to redeem my prize I decided to
use the money to buy a soprano saxophone.
Holding the glistening, beautiful, instrument in my hands
it dawned on me that I had no idea how to play it.
As out of nowhere I suddenly remembered a Chinese saying:
''Every journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.''
''Just start" I said to myself and so I did.
A year or so later I realized that I needed recording equipment.
The goal was to produce a Demo and hopefully gain some
interest from a Record label.
I went to our local music shop, had an in depth conversation
with the proprietor as to what I needed to purchase in order
to set up a small recording studio.
''It's all about digital these days'' said the proprietor.
''Do you know anything about it?'' he asked.
''No, but I know that every journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step,'' I answered.
When the boxes with all the new equipment arrived
I said to myself: ''Just start.''
I made a few demo's, sent them off to a number of different
Record Companies, got a fair number of interviews, performed on
British TV and a number of Pubs and Clubs. However due to
family circumstances, we had to return to Australia.
Coming back to Australia I joined a pop band as a keyboard player,
formed a Jazz Quartet as a tenor sax player, and entered the
Conservatorium of Music.
Pondering how I was going to be able to do all these things
at the same time I said to myself: ''Just start.''
Eventually, everything fell apart. My best friend died in a
car accident, my partner wanted a divorce, my son,
a sensitive 13 year old, was bullied mercilessly at school,
and I was diagnosed with Anorexia.
When my hair began to fall out and my doctor told
me that unless I put on weight I was going to die,
I knew that I had to sort out my life, but how?
Just start.
When my son was 17 years old he left home
and moved in to a share house with some ''friends'',
friends who turned out to be dealers, addicts and thieves.
So began a nightmare that lasted for over ten years.
When he eventually returned home he was an alcoholic,
diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality disorder,
and a broken man.
How does one deal with that?
Every journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,
just start.
I started by accepting that I couldn't go this alone.
I needed help.
By chance I found a psychologist
who introduced me to mindfulness, and to Dialectic Behaviour
Therapy.
With his help I no longer had to travel my journey
of a thousand miles alone. Each step I took, he took with me.
Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder are not
mental health issues that can be cured.
They can only be managed.
So with the help of my psychologist and a lot of
reading and researching I gained a much better understanding
of the ''demons'' my son has to deal with.
Why is getting started sometimes so hard?
A few suggestions:
Because it involves change, and for some of us,
any kind of change can be experienced as scary.
Because some of us are scared of failing.
Because some of us are scared of looking silly
when we try something new.
Because some of us are scared that we may seem incompetent.
Let me ask you this: what would you start doing/saying/thinking
if there was no risk of you failing or looking silly?
What if there is no such thing as failure, only a less desired
outcome?
Planning to make a plan is not making a plan.
so,
Just start.
''It's in starting with the first step other steps
become clearer.''
(?)
about the image: water colour on paper
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