Even an over-heard fight has ''claws''.....

She makes herself as small and invisible as she can.

Though she knows that she probably shouldn't be listening

at the door, she just can't help herself, she needs to know

what they are arguing about.

Is it her? Did she do something wrong? Is she the reason

why they keep fighting every day?

She hates it when her parents fight, she just can't make 

any sense out it.

Why do they tell her not to fight with her brothers

when they themselves fight all the time?
It doesn't make sense.
And it hurts.

So, having stared at the blinking cursor for about

an hour, I am now going to try to write about

fighting.

The verb 'fight' means to be engaged in some form of

(disagreement/)confrontation.
This can be done verbally, physically, virtually,

and these days, even all the above at the same time. (Computer games)

Are we sometimes''driven'' by some subconscious,
''reptilian brain'' kind of urge to just pick a fight?
I mean, even the most trivial of conversations can sometimes escalate
 into a verbal ''fight''.
Ex:  My team is the best.
                            No, it isn't, my team is far better.
                            My team can beat yours any day!
                                                   Oh, yeah!!!! Well, I can beat you right now!!!!

 How is that something that starts as a conversation, a simple

exchange of ideas, can morph into a verbal confrontation,

 that then evolves into a verbal conflict,

 a verbal conflict that exponentially escalates into

a physical altercation?

I read somewhere that: 'more than anything else, humans want to

be right.'

So why do we want to be right? Because, so the wise say,

 it affirms and boosts our sense of self-worth.

Ponder this: you're discussing something with a friend,
quite friendly like, when suddenly
your friend tells you that you are wrong.

Your friend then proceeds to number all the flaws in your

thinking one by one. 

What's you knee-jerk reaction?

a) Yeah, well, here are the flaws in your thinking!!!

b) I see, how about we discuss in-depth those flaws as you see it.

c) Flaws?? What makes you so right and flawless????

Our need for being right can sometimes make it hard for us

to be able to appreciate differing opinions.

But if winning an argument(being right),

is more important to us than anything else,
we may find it quite challenging to
 form healthy and lasting relationships

with others.

Fighting is stressful and can cause immense emotional distress

not only for those involved, but also for those over-hearing it.

It can be hard to remain respectful and not raising one's

voice when it the midst of an argument, but if we value

the relationship we have with the person we're arguing with,

then reining in our emotions may prevent an argument from

becoming a fight.
Perhaps it may be possible to prevent some
discussions/arguments from turning into fights
if before we respond we consider how to
do so respectfully.

''The aim of an argument, or a discussion, should not
be victory, but progress.''
(Joseph Jobert)

''Say what you mean, but don't say it mean."
(Andrea Wacher)

''Be calm in arguing, for fierceness makes error a fault, 
and truth a discourtesy.''
(George Herbert)

''Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain
that grows flowers, not thunder.''
(Rumi)

about the image: Ink on paper, edited in Photoshop