Instead of ''Get over it!'', how about ''Get through it!''......?

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul.

(The above image is a sketch I made with white

charcoal on black paper and then edited in Photoshop.

I can't really remember where I found the original image,

or how true to the original it is, but I do remember how

this soldier's piercing eyes made me reach for my sketch pad.)

While in a chatroom chatting with a war vet, 

he disclosed to me that he suffers with PTSD.

(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

''You know how PTSD is often described as a form

of mental disorder, as an illness, well, in my view,

it's not.

 PTSD is a ''healthy'' human response to very unhealthy and 

traumatic experiences.''

''Think of it,'' he continued, ''how ''healthy'' is a person

who is not affected by trauma, whatever that trauma

 may be?''

His words rang true to me and for days those words

kept me busy researching PTSD.

How do soldiers coming home from wars ''get over it''?

How do first responders cope and ''get over it''?

How do victims of abuse ''get over it''?

How do children exposed to bullying ''get over it''?

Which brings me to my topic; telling someone to 

''get over it'', (whatever ''it'' may be) is in my view

hardly ever helpful.

As far as I can ascertain, there is no ''statute of limitations''

on how long it should take for a person to ''get over'' something

that they experienced as a trauma/heartbreak/disappointment/etc.

As not all of us react the same way to trauma, it can be good 

to remember that some of us may need

longer to recover, to process, and to find our way forward.

Talking to someone about our traumatic experiences

can often be helpful, but, in my view, it needs to be someone

who is supportive, patient and caring.

(Having learnt the hard way that this is very important, I suggest 

choosing a person to confide in carefully.)

It is not easy to open up and talk about things that

still hurts, or make us tremble, or gives us ''flashbacks'',

but, sharing our feelings with someone else, it is possible that 

that someone else may be able to offer us a different perspective, 

a different approach, and a different way to make ''sense'' out 

of a difficult experience(/s).

Like they say; ''a burden shared is a burden halved''.

In my experience, life changing events such as; wars, natural disasters,

loss of any kind, violence of any kind, etc.etc., leave indelible

marks on our emotional (/physical) well-being and 

can seldom be fixed by us just telling ourselves (or others) to ''get over it''.

Pain, whether emotional or physical, tend to be hard to ignore

as it asks for our attention, for us to tend to it.

''Rather than telling ourselves ''to get over it'', perhaps

we should tell ourselves to ''get through it'', ''move past it'',

understand it, and learn from it.''

(Citizen Z)