Your body talks too.......

My favourite model that I use, is a very small teddy.

Standing at 10 cm, he has been the inspiration for many 

of my ink and pen works.

While drawing my first Teddy, I quickly realized how easy it was to

convey different emotional states by just moving his head 

and body parts about. 

(An excellent asset for a model methinks.)

Although this model was small enough to fit into the palm of my hand,

as a conveyor of emotions, he was a ''giant''.

When I was first introduced to the term ''body language''

I have to admit that I was quite skeptical about it, and

although I did not give it much credence, a seed was sown.

So, what is it?  

Body language is a type of non-verbal communication such as

facial expression, body posture, use of space, and eye movement

that expresses our intentions, attitudes and feelings.

Sometimes expressed consciously and sometimes unconsciously.

Sometimes we may just have a ''gut feeling'', as in 

 ''I don't know why, but I just don't believe what he/she said.''

If someone says to you ''Trust me'' but won't look you in the eyes,

 chances are that you will not trust that person.

Simply put, when the words and the body language do not ''say''

 the same thing, we need to proceed with caution.

Open body language -> eye to eye contact, uncrossed arms and legs.

Closed body language -> no eye contact, crossed arms and legs.

For most of us, our body language is involuntary as are

 our facial micro expressions, gesticulation(gesturing) 

on the other hand, is not.

What we feel and what we are thinking

 we carry in our bodies as well as in our minds,

 but minds can't be seen, our bodies can.

If it is important to us how we come across to others, then

understanding body language can be a very helpful ''tool''.

By understanding and being aware of what kind of message/signal 

we are sending with our body language along with our words,

misunderstandings are less likely to occur and vice versa.

(Though the numbers vary, only around 10% of our communication

with others is based on words, the rest is non-verbal.)

In 1982 the first ''smiley/emoticon'' showed up and 

though I do not know this to be true, I think that as we

base our lives more and more on and through text 

communications and therefore miss out on

the non-verbals, the emojis/emoticons have come to

be our sort of ''body-language-replacements''.

(They are fun too at times, methinks.)

''Body language is a powerful tool. We had body language

before we had speech, and apparently, 80% of what you

understand in a conversation is read through the body

not the words.''

(Deborah Bull)

Buffalo Woman

Buffalo Woman

They called her ''Buffalo woman'', 

a name she was proud to wear.

Her head held high, her body strong,

to the spirit world her being belonged.

Right from the start the whole tribe knew,

this child was different, like snow and dew.

Her breath was sweet, her eyes were bright,

she seemed to carry within her,

an inextinguishable kind of light.

Even as a child, she always knew,

when the buffalo was near and the hunt was due.

The elders, the wise, the warriors, the guides,

slowly but surely learnt to trust this child.

For each buffalo who gave up its life;
 grand old beasts that nourished the tribe,
the buffalo girl offered words of kindness,
words of courage, words of thankfulness.

The years went by in much the same way,
they hunted, they gathered, the children played.
They danced, they smoked, they beat their drums,
until that day,  when they first heard guns.

Vision after vision of hard times ahead,
haunted the wise and filled them with dread.
When the Buffalo woman began to weep
a council was called, for all to meet.

When asked why she was weeping
she said ''I am deeply grieving.
A change is coming and with it much pain,
life as we know it will no longer remain.

Our friend the buffalo will be mercilessly hunted,
in numbers so large, they can not be counted.
They will be skinned and their bodies left to rot,
by ruthless hunters who doesn't care a lot''.
(Citizen Z)

Not only did ruthless hunters mercilessly kill
buffalo, but history tells us that they also killed
numerous native peoples.
Come to think of it, not only hunters have killed
people mercilessly, people have killed people
since year dot ''in the name of............''
Seems us human beings have a big problem with
being able to embrace cultures and peoples different to us.
Technologically we have progressed, but emotionally?
In my view, not so much.
We can do better.

''A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited
in time and space. He/she experiences himself, his thoughts and
feelings as separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion
of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us,
restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.
Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening
our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the
whole of nature in its beauty.''
(Albert Einstein)

Sarcasm, is it hostility dressed up in a clown suit?

Sometimes, a ''one-liner'' seem to be able to communicate a 

a message, a deeper meaning, insight, wisdom, etc. that sets in

motion a lot of further thinking.

Often, due to the economy and specificity of words, a well-crafted

one-liner can cut through a lot of ''barriers'' and hit us straight in the

heart.

Sometimes in a good way, and sometimes in a hurtful way.

Sarcasm in my view, can at times be very hurtful one-liners,

(some say it is the lowest form of wit/humor) although

they may at times be both witty and even quite funny.

English is not my first language, Swedish is, so I will freely

admit that it has taken me some time to come to grips with

sarcasm.

In the beginning I found it hard to laugh when folks made

sarcastic remarks (one-liners) about for instance my ''accent'',

but as the years have gone by and my English has improved,

 I have learnt to not take quips about my accent too seriously.

In my experience, a well-crafted one-liner of the ''benign'' kind,

as for instance: ''be the change you want to see in the world'',

or ''it's in the stillness the greatest thoughts are born'', or 

''do unto others as you would have them do unto you'' can

assist us to gain a greater understanding of what it is to be a human.

Sarcastic comments/one-liners on the other hand,

 seldom lifts us up or boosts our self-esteem and or self-confidence. 

Some say that sarcasm is hostility disguised as humor, and considering 

that the word sarcasm comes from the Greek word ''sarkazein'',

which means ''to tear or strip the flesh off'', it is not really

surprising that being at the brunt of sarcastic comments hurts.

Benign one-liners on the other hand, rather than tear us down, 

often has the ability to lift us up, to offer us insight, and

to comfort us.

''If at first you don't succeed, try, and try again", or ''Never, never, never, 

give up'', or ''Pain is temporary but love is forever'',  or ''You

are not alone, I am here with you.''

As a professional musician, there were times when the gigs

dried up.  In order to look after my son and keep food on

the table, I worked on and off in different

warehouses. For some reason, the fact that I was a musician

seemed to arouse hostilities and unfriendliness in many of

my co-workers. Sarcasm and belittling was a daily occurrence.

I do not believe in responding in kind, so whenever they bullied me,

I would walk away. I never retaliated, I just worked harder.

Until. Until they fiddled with my steering wheel and I almost

ran off the road on the way home from work.

I decided I had to say something, but I did not want to stoop

to their level. 

The next morning I walked up to the warehouse manager, 

(aka the man behind most of the harassment) 

stood eyeball to eyeball with him and then said:

''Never mistake kindness for weakness.

I am choosing not to treat you the way you treat me. ''

I held his gaze for a full minute and then walked away.

After that, I was left alone.

You see, I rather be a candle, than curse the darkness.

With that I mean: Darkness=scary stuff, light=good stuff.

Lighting a match in utter darkness one night when

the power had been cut, I realized that no matter how dark

 the darkness was, even a single lit match

was ''stronger'' than the darkness.

For some of us sarcasm may come easier than words of encouragement.

Here's the bad about that: Sarcasm often pushes people away, whereas

kind words and encouragement often draws people closer.