Who says that feelings gotta have a ''charge''? I don't.....

''Despair is good. Despair can be the nadir of one life

and the starting point of an ascent into another,

better one.'' (Dean Koontz)

Nadir, is a word that until a few days ago, I had never come 

across before. It did not sound ''English'' to me, so I 

looked it up in a reputable English dictionary and found

that the word's origin comes from medieval Latin

and Arabic. 

The translation of the word nadir to ''the lowest point (of anything)'' 

was first recorded in 1793, but in common parlance we probably

use terms such as: rock-bottom, all time low, desperate,

depth's of despair, ready to tap out, etc. before we use the word nadir.

Experiencing so called ''negative emotions'' such as for

instance despair, often gets a bad rap and we are often

told to ''get over it'', ''snap out of it'', or ''move on''.

But, what if Dean Koontz is right? What if despair can be

the nadir of one life and the starting point of an

ascent into another, better life?

I believe it is a commonly held belief that sadness and despair

becomes worse and lasts longer if we give it our full

attention, but what if that is not true?

What if the opposite is true? What if not paying attention to our

feelings of despair, i:e, shoving them where the sun don't shine'',

actually makes us feel worse?

 (My beloved brother died when I was twelve years old

 and knowing no better, I shoved the pain as far down 

into the deepest recesses of my heart and mind as I could. 

It took me seven years before I reached my point of nadir and

was finally able to deal with the loss.)

According to those in the know, ignoring our true feelings 

we often prolong our misery and that often keeps us stuck.

They suggest that the fastest way out of emotional pain is through

accepting the pain rather than fighting against it. 

Thing is, often when we try to pretend that we are okay when we

really are not, we tend to seek out artificial means to help us

 numb our feelings of despair, hopelessness, pain and

or sadness. But, unfortunately, more often than not, rather than

getting rid of our feelings of despair, hopelessness, pain and

or sadness, we often end up acquiring behaviour patterns

that conceal rather than make clear to us the core reasons for our

feelings.

John Lennon: ''The basic thing that nobody asks is why do

people take drugs of any sort? Why do we have these

accessories to normal living in order to live? I mean,

is there something wrong with society that is making us

so pressurized, that we cannot live without guarding

ourselves against it?''

What if there are no ''negative'' or positive feelings,                

 but only feelings?     

What if instead of telling someone sad to ''pull their socks up''

we said ''let down your socks'' and put our arms around them?

What if instead of telling someone to look at the ''bright side''

we ask them how we can help?

What if instead of ''putting on a happy face'' when we feel     

down we allow ourselves to feel sad for awhile?

         What if on the other side of nadir a new and ''better'' life awaits us?

  What if we were to let go of the notion that feelings need to be

 ''judged'' and instead learned how to accept

and understand them?

Wouldn't that be something....