Fear....essential for survival but detrimental to a fully lived life....

I have heard it said: "A life lived in fear is a life half lived." I have also heard it said: "In order to truly see things as they are, we must first remove our blindfolds of illusion."

A while back, I invented a "Teddy" figure that would speak about issues difficult to illustrate. (These two drawings are both "Teddy".)

In conversation with a friend, my friend told me that she has recently realized that many of her decisions on what to do and what not to do, were "fear" based; fear of getting hurt, fear of making a mistake, fear of being misunderstood, fear of failing, fear of letting someone down, and so on.

Now, in hindsight, she can't but help speculate on how different her life could/would  have been if she would not have sub-combed to her fears.

Fear .. is an emotion, not a very pleasant one, but a rather important one because without it we may throw ourselves into potentially precarious and dangerous situations without first considering possible consequences, on the other hand, sometimes we may see danger and threats to our  physical/emotional safety, where none exists except for in our own minds.

A person may know that statistically speaking, flying is safer than traveling by car, but for someone who struggles with a fear of flying, that stat makes little difference or impact on his/her fear.

Whether "irrational" or "rational", fear in any shape or form, is a powerful emotion. Accumulation of information and knowledge, can be helpful and soothing for some of us, but for others, not so much.

(Saying "Don't be scared of that spider, it's just a Tarantula and they are not venomous" does little for someone scared of spiders staring at a huge Tarantula climbing up their leg.)

For someone experiencing fear, for whatever reason, rational or not, the fear is telling that someone Danger! and to get away, to avoid, that which is feared. Fear, some say, is our first line of defense when it comes to survival.

There are some fears that most of us share: extinction, mutilation, loss of autonomy, separation, and humiliation/shame. Most of the things we are fearful of, at some level, fits into one of those categories. Depending on our life experiences, these fears can have subsidiary (additional) fears attached them. What may have begun as a fear of spiders can develop into a fear of any creepy crawlies, what may have begun as fear of rejection by someone, may develop into a fear of rejection by anyone, what may have begun as a fear of failing in one area, may develop into a fear of failing in all areas, and so on. For some of us, our fears may seem as if they just come from "out of nowhere", they grab hold of us and there is little we can do to stand up to them. Not so, say those in the know: "when we begin to see fear and its companion emotions as basically information, then we can think about them consciously. The more clearly and calmly we can articulate the origins of the fear, the less our fear will frighten and control us."

So, some of us are perhaps like the Teddy with all his patches and band-aids, and then there are others of us who may be more like the Teddy running while blind folded.

Symbolically speaking, the "blindfold" represents a number of different things: resistance to clarity, denial, wishful thinking ("I can't see it, so it doesn't exist"), a lesser state of consciousness, etc.

But it can also symbolize impartiality and objectivity, especially in law as in the case of "Lady Justice", who is wearing a blindfold.

Teddy, like many of us, at times desire and seek "fun" and excitement, exploration and adventure, new experiences and new relationships, and in order to fulfill such desires we may prefer to be "blind" to the potential dangers that may encountered on the way. The "fear" of what can or may happen is overcome by the desire of expanding the experience of being alive; living life to its fullest.

During a break at a gig (music), the bass player in the band asked me to play a game of pool with with him. "You play pool, don't you? he asked. "Sure" I answered although I had only played pool a few times. Much to my surprise, I managed to drop one ball after the other into the pockets until there were only two left. By this time, the other band members had rallied and there were quite a number of people standing around watching the game. All eyes were on me while the bass player made sarcastic comments: "Go on, sink both of them with one shot." Quietly to myself I thought "Is that even possible?" I stepped up to the table, chalked the cue, and I do not lie, Whack! with one shot, one ball dropped in the left pocket, the other in the right pocket, whilst leaving the white cue ball spinning on the table in-between the two. No-one was more surprised than me!!!! Luckily for me, I didn't have to play another game because the break was over and we had to get back on stage. It was just one of those fluke moments, a new experience, a fun experience, probably possible because for me there was no fear involved; fear of failure, or fear of humiliation; it was merely a bit of fun.

As well as being "blind-folded" by "wishful thinking", in my view, it is also possible to be blind-folded by "fearful thinking", and with that I mean, fear (of whatever kind) "blinding" us from seeing possibilities that may offer us ways of enriching and expanding our lives. Blind-folds can be insidious, because they are often invisible to ourselves, and when or if others suggest that we are wearing one (it may be called something else like wishful thinking, fear, bias, prejudice, attitude,etc.) more often than not, we don't respond favourably.

Being a human, from my point of view, means at times we may have to be: patched up, get a stitch or two, use a crutch or two, wrap ourselves in woolen blankets, mend a broken heart, put band-aids on, and have band-aids ripped off.

"I've learned that fear limits you and your vision. It serves as blinders to what may be just a few steps down the road for you. The journey is valuable, but believing in your talents, your abilities, and your self-worth can empower you to walk down an even brighter path. Transforming fear into freedom - how great is that?" (Soledad O'Brien)