"Hello? Anybody there? I just need somebody to talk to."
"Go ahead caller, I am listening."
"I have never done this before, so I am not really sure what I am supposed to do."
"There is no right or wrong way to do this caller, so just tell me what's on your mind."
"Hmm, where do I begin......I can say anything that's on my mind?"
"Yes, caller."
"Okay, so, I am wondering why I feel so alone all the time. I mean, I work so there's people there, I commute to work, so there's people around me then, I go to the movies and there's lots of people. Sometimes when there's a work-do, I go to those, yet even when I am surrounded by people, I still feel alone. I don't seem to be able to shake this feeling of somehow doing something wrong, something that makes people just not wanting to talk with me. I guess, I feel kind of invisible at times, like I am there but nobody cares."
"So what I am hearing you say is that you feel invisible to others and this makes you feel alone?"
"Yes, and I am tired of it. I would like to feel visible, I would like people to chat with me, I would like to feel included, I would like to feel as if others care."
"You would like to interact more with others, is that right?"
"Yeah, that's right, but it's hard for me to just strike up a conversation with someone, I mean, ...like I get anxious and scared that I am going to say something stupid or something wrong and so I get all tongue tied. So, more often than not, I just keep to myself, at least then I wont make a fool of myself."
"I see, you are worried that when you speak with others you will not be able to present yourself in a positive way, is that correct?"
"I guess it could be put that way."
"Do you think it possible that other people may also feel anxious about how they present themselves?"
" I suppose that's possible, but if they do, they seem to be able to ignore it. I am not sure that I could though."
"Would you like to be able to?"
"Sure, but how exactly would I do that?"
"For many people it can be helpful to become aware of the thoughts that prevents them from interacting with others, thoughts like "I will say something stupid" or "I will make a fool of myself" and then counter with for instance: "do I know this for sure"? Often what we imagine will happen, does not actually happen. We also commonly engage in mind reading, thinking we know what others are thinking, and this is not helpful either, since what others think is not something we can know. It can be helpful to focus more on making a good connection with the others by asking questions that concerns them, things that are important to them, rather than being inward (self) focused. Most of us experience some form of nervousness in social situations, so chances are that others may be too busy dealing with their own anxieties in order to be able to notice yours."
"Hmmm....you have given me a lot to think about. I guess I could try what you are suggesting."
"The fact that you have called, indicates to me that you probably want to try to find ways to be able to better interact with others, is this correct?"
"Yes, I am tired of feeling this way and I suppose trying another approach can't hurt?"
"Thank you for calling and sharing your concerns with me, I hope that our conversation has been helpful to you. Please don't hesitate to call again, take care."
If you have similar concerns to this fictitious caller, may I suggest you call somebody and share your concerns with them. "A burden shared is a burden halved", so T. A. Webb suggests.
"So what I am hearing you say is that you feel invisible to others and this makes you feel alone?"
"Yes, and I am tired of it. I would like to feel visible, I would like people to chat with me, I would like to feel included, I would like to feel as if others care."
"You would like to interact more with others, is that right?"
"Yeah, that's right, but it's hard for me to just strike up a conversation with someone, I mean, ...like I get anxious and scared that I am going to say something stupid or something wrong and so I get all tongue tied. So, more often than not, I just keep to myself, at least then I wont make a fool of myself."
"I see, you are worried that when you speak with others you will not be able to present yourself in a positive way, is that correct?"
"I guess it could be put that way."
"Do you think it possible that other people may also feel anxious about how they present themselves?"
" I suppose that's possible, but if they do, they seem to be able to ignore it. I am not sure that I could though."
"Would you like to be able to?"
"Sure, but how exactly would I do that?"
"For many people it can be helpful to become aware of the thoughts that prevents them from interacting with others, thoughts like "I will say something stupid" or "I will make a fool of myself" and then counter with for instance: "do I know this for sure"? Often what we imagine will happen, does not actually happen. We also commonly engage in mind reading, thinking we know what others are thinking, and this is not helpful either, since what others think is not something we can know. It can be helpful to focus more on making a good connection with the others by asking questions that concerns them, things that are important to them, rather than being inward (self) focused. Most of us experience some form of nervousness in social situations, so chances are that others may be too busy dealing with their own anxieties in order to be able to notice yours."
"Hmmm....you have given me a lot to think about. I guess I could try what you are suggesting."
"The fact that you have called, indicates to me that you probably want to try to find ways to be able to better interact with others, is this correct?"
"Yes, I am tired of feeling this way and I suppose trying another approach can't hurt?"
"Thank you for calling and sharing your concerns with me, I hope that our conversation has been helpful to you. Please don't hesitate to call again, take care."
If you have similar concerns to this fictitious caller, may I suggest you call somebody and share your concerns with them. "A burden shared is a burden halved", so T. A. Webb suggests.
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