After months at sea, finally the ship arrived in New York. On board were thousands of people who had been forced to flee their own countries due to conflict of the worst kind: war.
For many this meant that they had to chose to leave all they knew and were familiar with and instead embrace the unknown. As far as choices go, choosing to leave your homeland to live permanently somewhere else, is one of the "bigger" choices a human has to make.
If there is a threat to ones survival, then the choice to seek safety probably seems as an obvious choice; if I stay here I will die, I do not want to die, so I will chose to remove myself from here.
What about the choices we make that are not life-threatening as such but in the long run may still hasten our demise? Instead of choosing healthy food, we choose fast food, instead of walking up the steps we take the elevator, instead of having a glass or two we have a bottle or two, instead of getting a good nights rest we party with the best, and so on. Everyday we make thousands of choices although some we are no longer consciously aware of making; habits=something that we do so often that we no longer are aware of choosing to do so.
Some things we don't choose; our gene pool, our DNA, where we are born, and who our parents are.
But according to Jean Paul Sartre; "We are our choices." or according to
Louise Hay, a best-selling self-help author who writes: "We are what we choose to think."
If we are our choices and we are what we choose to think, then the responsibility for how our lives turn out (one could surmise), rests with us.
Taking the responsibility for our choices at first may seem a heavy burden, but if we are responsible do we not also have the power for change?
Perhaps a good start to begin at is to understand how we choose, how did we arrive at the conclusion that this is the choice we make? A recent study suggests that there are two separate networks/regions involved in the brain: > risk versus reward(value) and > one that guides how you ultimately behave.(Cognitive control) "When the cognitive control regions are working well, distractions are ignored and behaviours occur in the appropriate context; when valuation is appropriate, choices are made that are likely to be beneficial in the long run."(Time mag.) (When both these regions are working well, often we make choices from what we may experience as a "gut instinct".)
Many of us make choices based on our emotions, on how the choices fit with our view of ourselves, we choose according to how our choices fit in with our "bigger picture", we ascertain if our choices fit well within our family, friends, work situation, etc..our environment.
Example: "I would really like to join the BBB, I do view myself as a contributor, and in the future I would like for that to become my full-time activity, which I know would also make my folks happy."
Interestingly, ask a toddler what colour they like the best and they will tell you in an instant. If you ask why they chose the colour they did, often the answer is: "I just like it."
Sometimes we make choices which felt right at the time, but as time passes turn out to be not so right after all. That extra serve of fries, that "one for the road", that phone call in the middle of the night to your ex, telling your boss how unfair he is, and so on.
Choices we make, have outcomes.
If we know what outcome we desire, then the choices we make need to be congruent with that outcome. If we want to loose weight, if that is our desired outcome; then we need to make choices that supports that outcome. Choices like: exercising more, have smaller meals, be as physically active as possible, eating less calorie rich foods, etc.. If we want to be more socially active, then we need to make choices that will support that outcome such as: joining a club, sports group, hobby activity, church and so on. Perhaps also choosing to find information on how to improve our communication skills, how to extend our vocabulary, or/and how to be comfortable in a group environment may be fruitful.
A simple graph may perhaps be helpful.
Desired outcome > what are the options > which option/s will bring me the desired outcome > choose the option/s
If you desire to feel "better" about yourself, what choices can you make that will bring this about?
If you desire to feel more comfortable in social settings, what choices can you make that will help you with that?
If you desire to quit a habit that is inhibiting your life, what choices can you make to overcome it?
If you desire to have more friends, what choices can you make that will assist you with that?
If we always choose what we have always chosen, then we will always have what we have always had.
To affect change, we have to choose differently.
"The future is an ever-shifting maze of possibilities until it becomes the present." (Terry Brooks)
"If you want a new tomorrow, then make new choices today." (Tim Fargo)
For many this meant that they had to chose to leave all they knew and were familiar with and instead embrace the unknown. As far as choices go, choosing to leave your homeland to live permanently somewhere else, is one of the "bigger" choices a human has to make.
If there is a threat to ones survival, then the choice to seek safety probably seems as an obvious choice; if I stay here I will die, I do not want to die, so I will chose to remove myself from here.
What about the choices we make that are not life-threatening as such but in the long run may still hasten our demise? Instead of choosing healthy food, we choose fast food, instead of walking up the steps we take the elevator, instead of having a glass or two we have a bottle or two, instead of getting a good nights rest we party with the best, and so on. Everyday we make thousands of choices although some we are no longer consciously aware of making; habits=something that we do so often that we no longer are aware of choosing to do so.
Some things we don't choose; our gene pool, our DNA, where we are born, and who our parents are.
But according to Jean Paul Sartre; "We are our choices." or according to
Louise Hay, a best-selling self-help author who writes: "We are what we choose to think."
If we are our choices and we are what we choose to think, then the responsibility for how our lives turn out (one could surmise), rests with us.
Taking the responsibility for our choices at first may seem a heavy burden, but if we are responsible do we not also have the power for change?
Perhaps a good start to begin at is to understand how we choose, how did we arrive at the conclusion that this is the choice we make? A recent study suggests that there are two separate networks/regions involved in the brain: > risk versus reward(value) and > one that guides how you ultimately behave.(Cognitive control) "When the cognitive control regions are working well, distractions are ignored and behaviours occur in the appropriate context; when valuation is appropriate, choices are made that are likely to be beneficial in the long run."(Time mag.) (When both these regions are working well, often we make choices from what we may experience as a "gut instinct".)
Many of us make choices based on our emotions, on how the choices fit with our view of ourselves, we choose according to how our choices fit in with our "bigger picture", we ascertain if our choices fit well within our family, friends, work situation, etc..our environment.
Example: "I would really like to join the BBB, I do view myself as a contributor, and in the future I would like for that to become my full-time activity, which I know would also make my folks happy."
Interestingly, ask a toddler what colour they like the best and they will tell you in an instant. If you ask why they chose the colour they did, often the answer is: "I just like it."
Sometimes we make choices which felt right at the time, but as time passes turn out to be not so right after all. That extra serve of fries, that "one for the road", that phone call in the middle of the night to your ex, telling your boss how unfair he is, and so on.
Choices we make, have outcomes.
If we know what outcome we desire, then the choices we make need to be congruent with that outcome. If we want to loose weight, if that is our desired outcome; then we need to make choices that supports that outcome. Choices like: exercising more, have smaller meals, be as physically active as possible, eating less calorie rich foods, etc.. If we want to be more socially active, then we need to make choices that will support that outcome such as: joining a club, sports group, hobby activity, church and so on. Perhaps also choosing to find information on how to improve our communication skills, how to extend our vocabulary, or/and how to be comfortable in a group environment may be fruitful.
A simple graph may perhaps be helpful.
Desired outcome > what are the options > which option/s will bring me the desired outcome > choose the option/s
If you desire to feel "better" about yourself, what choices can you make that will bring this about?
If you desire to feel more comfortable in social settings, what choices can you make that will help you with that?
If you desire to quit a habit that is inhibiting your life, what choices can you make to overcome it?
If you desire to have more friends, what choices can you make that will assist you with that?
If we always choose what we have always chosen, then we will always have what we have always had.
To affect change, we have to choose differently.
"The future is an ever-shifting maze of possibilities until it becomes the present." (Terry Brooks)
"If you want a new tomorrow, then make new choices today." (Tim Fargo)
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