While my sister was making us some lunch, I decided to
enjoy the view from her balcony.
Majestic and awe inspiring, the waves from the Pacific Ocean
licked the golden beach at Burleigh Heads.
I closed my eyes briefly and inhaled the smell of
salty moist air, pine trees, coconut sunscreen and
freshly cut grass.
Some of us may view Beethoven's Fifth Symphony as
one of the most glorious of music compositions, but for me,
that honour goes to the sound of a rolling ocean.
Enjoying the sound of the ocean, another sound,
gentle at first but growing in volume, began to demand my attention.
I opened my eyes to look for the source of the sound
and realized that it came from a multitude of Fairy Wrens
enjoying the freshly cut grass on the ground in front
of the Hotel entrance.
I know very little about birds, but I do love Fairy Wrens.
I quickly ran down the three flights of stairs to get a closer look.
Like a busy airport, the little birds landed and took off while
singing their song. Amazing. Beautiful.
As I was admiring the birds, I saw a feather ''dancing'' in the wind.
I decided to try and catch it as it was falling.
Alas, the wind was strong and the feather very light.
Every time I tried to catch it it seemed as
if the motion caused the feather to rise somehow, so in
the end, I just held out my hands and waited for the feather
to just gently land in the palm of my hands.
Lately I have been pondering gentleness.
There are numerous books on how to be more
assertive, firm, stand your ground, get your voice heard,
take charge, etc. etc. but...
what I have not come across so far, is how to be assertive
in a gentle way.
One definition of being assertive is: ''someone who states their needs
and opinions clearly'' another is: ''being confidently aggressive
and self-assured''.
For some of us, being able to state our needs and opinions can
be experienced as quite confrontational as well as emotionally
challenging.
Howso, you may ask?
Because it's not just about what we say, but also very much about how we say it.
And how, often reflects how strongly we feel about what we are
trying to say. In my opinion (and experience), it seems
assertiveness can quite easily morph into aggression by
a mere incremental increase in vocal volume.
Oh, yeah? Oh, Yeah?? OH, YEAH??!!
Often with an increase of vocal volume comes an increase
of emotional charge and what may have begun as a conversation
becomes a heated discussion, or perhaps even an argument.
Some say that an assertive person has a fundamental humility and
gentleness that runs through how they interact with others.
They are able to assert their opinions and needs without
being loud, pushy or aggressive.
Instead of relying on volume to get their views across, they rely
on a clear and precise language void of insults and hurtful words.
It is unfortunate, but it seems to me that somehow words
such as gentleness, tenderness, kindness and softness
are often getting a bad ''rap''.
I may be wrong, but I believe that there is an underlying attitude
in many of today's societies that gentleness, tenderness,
kindness and softness are often equated with weakness.
Should we aspire to be successful and ''winning'' people,
the underlying thought seem to be that
we can leave no room for neither of those qualities.
But what if that thought is wrong?
What if gentleness, tenderness, kindness and softness are
fundamental characteristics of true strength?
What if those characteristics are paramount for us to
be successful and winning people?
As someone once said to me: ''It takes a strong person to
to acknowledge his/her weaknesses.''
''Every weakness contains within itself strength.''
(Shusaku Endo)
about the images: at the top, ink on paper,
the fairy wren, ink and acrylic on paper
