War is never the smart choice...........it always leaves broken people behind

When I was about ten years old I found one of my

 grand-parents passports in an old box.

When I opened it to see who it belonged to,

I saw a small black and white photo of my 

Opa(grand-father) and stamped across it was

an angry red J with next to it another stamp

with a threatening looking eagle holding

a Swaztika in its claws.

Holding the passport in my hands made me

feel strange. Although I didn't know what

the symbols meant, they made me uneasy

and anxious.

I decided to ask my mother what it all

meant. Though I would have liked to,

I could not ask my grand-parents as

they had both died when I was but a small child.

My mother told me that before she lived in Sweden

she, her mother, father and older brother, lived

in Berlin, Germany.

 Leonard, my grand-father, long before the 2nd World

war had started and Hitler was still viewed as an

egocentric lunatic, sensed that something awful

and dangerous was on the way and rather than ignoring 

his gut-feelings he acted upon them.

I am unsure of exactly how he managed to

get first my mum and her mum out, and then

 himself and his son out of Germany.

But he did and eventually he and his family was

together in Sweden and then 10 years later...

he and his family all became Swedish citizens.

Fast forward>>>>>>>>> I have just found out

that I am part Jewish.

What did it mean? What did it mean to have

Jewish ancestry? I was intrigued and curious,

so I decided to keep going through some of

the old boxes in our cellar.

I found old sepia photos recording some of my 

grandparents life shot in Germany before they fled which

I eagerly studied trying to find a way to somehow 

''connect'' with the people I saw in the photographs.

My grand-Opa and Oma (great-grandparents) were

among the few kinspeople in the photos

 that I instantly recognized as they were actually

 still alive for a fair few years of my childhood.

(My mother helped me identify her brother,

herself as a young child and some relatives

that I had never met.)

 Though quite elderly, as luck would have it

my two sisters, my brother and I were fortunate

 enough to spend many happy days with

my grand-Oma and Opa although they lived in Berlin.

Our family would drive from Stockholm

to West Berlin which for us kids was very exciting

although also scary as Berlin at that time was divided 

by a great big wall. 

To get to West Berlin we had to drive through

East Germany which was very gloomy, many of

the buildings full of bullet holes and we often

 saw tanks and other military vehicles pass us on the

side of the roads.

Some years ago my older sister travelled to Berlin

to try and find out if there were any relatives

still alive in Germany, but sadly............

war had devoured them all.

 Do you think that it is possible that there will

come a day when human beings will stop trying to solve

problems, issues and miss-understandings with violence

of some kind?

Do you think that it is possible that there will come a day

 when human beings will chose to use understanding, 

open-mindedness and non-violence to solve its

issues in a peaceful and non-destructive way?

 I sure hope so.....

War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing........

''War does not determine

 who is wrong or who is right.

War leaves only a frightful sight

of the brokenness that's left after a fight.''

I hate everything about war and how

even when the fighting has stopped,

people keep breaking apart.

I abhor how those who profess to be

seeking peace and freedom for all

go quiet when united resistance calls.

I detest those that hide behind their golden curtains

and fail to show up when the time has come:

''Lovers of peace and freedom for all, 

it's time to stand up and hold our tongue no more.''

What do you think?

about the images: top: mixed media

middle: Elements

Bottom: Acrylic on large canvas

Thanks for visiting and Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, Yule, Festival of Light............

Where I come from, Christmas is a cold affair.

We ski, we skate, we make snowmen, snow angels

and drink a lot of hot drinks.

Here, in Australia, Christmas is a very, very, stinking hot

affair.

We eat outside. Preferably by the ocean dressed in

swimming gear and with an Esky full of ice cold

drinks nearby.

For some of us Christmas is a very merry time with

family and friends.

For some of us its more of a solemn, reflective and

''spiritual'' time.

And for many of us its PARTY! time.

Regardless of what we call it: Hanukkah, Yule, 

Festival of Lights etc. etc.

 It is a time for a break from work (whatever that may be),

from everyday routine

and to spend some time doing something different.

As I am writing this I am waiting to hear from 

The Hospital to which my mother has been taken

quite unexpectedly.

Speaking with one of the paramedics I was

told that she has developed a lump on one of her legs

and fearing a blood clot she has been taken

to a hospital near me.

As I may have to dash any moment, I am taking

this waiting time to just wish you a very great Christmas.

Wherever in the world you may be, the reason I

write the stuff that I write and paint/photo the stuff that

I do, is to try and connect/communicate with you.

I appreciate and feel very humbled by the thought

 that you spend time

reading my scribbles and looking at my art.

Thank you for doing so.

You are appreciated.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and

a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Citizen Z

 

                            about the images: A little village I made out of wood. Painted it white,

                           Above image: acrylic on medium canvas.

Telling the truth is not a revolutionary act.......................

Once upon a time a photograph used to be deemed as irrefutable proof

in depicting the objective truth/evidence of something. 

A photograph didn't lie, a photograph merely objectively recorded something

the way it happened and the time it happened.

Photographs/forensic photography is commonly used as a tool 

in the law courts by both defense and prosecution because

photos, whether digital or analogue, has the ability

to ''cement'' a situation, a moment in time close to

''true'', or rather, as in what we consider ''true'' to be.

Let me ask you this: In your view, how does one

decide whether something is true or not?

How do we decide whether something is true or not(false)?

Is it even possible for a human being to ever be able

to judge something without any kind of bias(unconscious opinion)

affecting our judgement?

Outside of mathematical facts and scientific truths,

are we actually able as humans to disconnect ourselves

from our consciousness, emotions and experiences?

Do you know that AI's can lie?

Whaaat?????

Are we so disconnected from any kind of 

truth that it no longer matter nor exists?

 Are we so royally screwed and disillusioned

about the importance of truth

that we even make machines lie???!!!!!!

-Don't tell me what's true!!! I live according to

MY truth, she said angrily.

-Truth?! You can't handle the truth, said Jack Nicholson

in ''A Few Good Men"".

-Don't tell me that you know the truth. My gut tells me what

 the truth is, you don't, he said and walked away.

If I keep claiming, 

insisting something to be objectively true,

 is that sufficient in itself to show or confirm something

to be so?

I don't believe so.

Objective truth as far as I can understand the concept, 

can only be confirmed independently and by a non-human

mind because human minds (so say those in the know)

are biased. (Automatic, prejudiced view-point.)

For a kid in Germany, a pig says: grunz, grunz.

For a kid in Sweden a pig says: nuff, nuff.

For an English speaking kid a pig says: oink, oink.

Who is telling the truth? They all are.

The language used to vocally illustrate the sound a pig makes

can be viewed as a subjective truth. How?

Because, the pig makes the same sound regardless of

the country it is in. The sound is what it is but due to

language differences the sound a pig and other animals make

is subjected to the language/dialect spoken by the person

hearing the pig.

These days it can be very hard to know anything really.

My understanding of ''knowing something'' is to have:

 an understanding supported by facts and information

on a subject/something.

In some cases added to this may be personal experience 

and an emotional understanding.

There is stuff that I know. There is stuff that I know that

I don't know. There is stuff that I don't know that I don't know.

For me there is no such thing as alternate facts for instance.

(In my view, facts are either verifiable or not and if

they are not verifiable, they are not facts.)

Some people favour the term: alternate facts.

As far as I am concerned however,

the term alternate fact is used to obfuscate and contradict

verifiable evidence/facts and personally I view the term

 as an oxymoron.

Sometimes we may prefer not to know some truths.

We may prefer to stay away from information that is

hard to digest and instead try to find

''alternate facts'' that offer a more digestible truth.

One of my favorite people who was able to

serve us some very heavy truths yet have us

laughing while he was doing so, is Charlie Chaplin.

He* and other artists and comedians in my view

can be viewed as the truth-tellers

of ''society'' as they use their ''art'' to expose hypocrisy

 and provide an unflinching and personal reflection

of what they see, hear and experience

in order to challenge us all.

 (*His movies are still available for viewing.)

More often than not, I believe that every now

 and then we can all do with a dose of truth telling

wrapped up in some ''straight-up'' comedic or

other kind of artistic expression.

 

"Each person does see the world in a different way.

There is not a single, unifying, objective truth.

We are all limited by our perspective."

(Siri Husvedt)

about the images: top: photo of a glass with Ribena cordial in it

standing on the bench with a single beam of

light shining through it.

 Charlie: acrylic on large canvas

It's often easier to judge then being judged......

The Judge

Every day he sees them in court.

They are the youth, the children of a disenfranchised society.

They are torn, worn, ignored.

They are not listened to, given loving attention

or assured of their worth.

They are invisible yet also too visible.

They are too loud yet also not loud enough.

They are hard to understand, they have their own

language and their own way of interacting accordingly.

''They'' belong to their own kind of people,

people with their own rules and ''laws''.

And five days a week, his job is to

somehow........ judge them.

''Down goes the gavel,

up stands the child,

Down goes the future

Up goes the crime

Down goes the hopeful

Up those who doubt.''

For thirty-three years he's sat on the bench.

Once a young man of great expectations.

Now a man of grey hair and hyper-tension.

He knows the rules and amendments well.

He knows for some, life is but a never-ending hell.

''Down goes the gavel,

up stands the youth,

Down goes the future

Up goes the crime

Down goes the hopeful

Up those who doubt.''

His wife no longer by his side

His children grown, 

they have their own lives.

Just him and all his thoughts:

''I could have done better, 

I could have done more.''

 A judge must be impartial,

must not get too involved, 

must stick to provable truth and logic

and always follow the evidential path.

''Down goes the gavel,

up stands the adult child,

Down goes the future

Up goes the crime

Down goes the hopeful

Up those who doubt.''

 Would not his life and living easier be

if he could just care less and just not see

the possibilities and endless potentials,

that day after day stand there in the dock

mere children taken away to a life ruled by a lock.

''Down goes the gavel,

up stands mankind,

Down goes the future

Up goes the crime

Down goes the hopeful

Up those who doubt.''

He's been told by cynics and scoffers alike:

''Stop your forgiving you know how they lie!

All of them are lazy, they don't even try.

They break all the rules without trying

 to comply.''

 There are days when his heart grows weary.

Days when hope seems gone and left is but the dreary.

And yet.....

He can't stop but believe that even if told a lie

one should at least be willing to listen to all sides

whether the words be spoken by an adult or a child.

Down goes the bias

up goes the understanding.

Down goes the prejudice

up goes the understanding and acceptance.

Down goes the exclusivity

up goes the understanding, acceptance

and inclusivity.

about the image: first a sketch then played with in Elements

The original is a water colour on large paper and looks totally

different

Do something publicly and the public will have an opinion.............................

Dancing is something that often plays a prominent

part in many of our different cultures around the world.

Just to mention a few: folk, jazz, contemporary, ballroom,

Hip Hop, Tap, Latin, Irish, etc. etc. etc.

Although perhaps not absolutely necessary, but usually

where there is music there will often be dancing.

Music is to dancing as speaking is to words.

And just as music is often something we do

together with others, so it is with dancing.

As part of many important ceremonies that us human beings

perform, some kind of dancing rituals are often included

on such occasions.

For many of us.......a ''good'' beat gets us up on our feet.

Exactly what constitutes ''a good beat'' however,

is down to our very individual tastes.

Not only that, although unusual, some of us just

can't feel or follow a rhythm terribly well.

There is a common misconception ''out there'' that

asserts that: ''if you can play an instrument you can

automatically sing in tune.  If you can play

groovy/funky music you can for sure dance''.

Not true. Leonard Bernstein for example, one of the very

greatest of composers and conductors can not

sing in tune. (I've seen him try.)

I know a bunch of musicians that really knows

how to ''groooove'' musically but absolutely cannot dance. 

Hand on heart, I am one of them.

I can't dance. Well, my urge to play the music rather

than dance to it is much, much stronger.

Having spent 30 years playing music that encourages

people to dance maybe could have, but have not, 

changed that.

However,

my son introducing me to prog metal, djent, prog fusion

/metal and a whole bunch of new music genres,

 inadvertently, still somehow and very strangely,

has made me feel like I want to dance to the music.

Though strictly speaking, what I do probably could

not be called dancing but more like ''jumping and 

bopping about'' in harmony with the rhythm/beat.

This made me ponder whether it was

dancing with nobody there that made me

feel okay to dance?

Was it a fear of making a fool of myself

that stopped me from dancing?

Was I scared of others opinions?

This made me think of something I read

in a book about public speaking.

Apparently, everyone is scared of doing that.

Are you scared of having to speak publicly

in front of a large crowd?

Are you scared of singing publicly?

Are you scared of dancing publicly?

Well, if you are, you are in good company

because most people are.

Some people only sing/dance/speak freely

after having consumed in their opinion the right 

amount of red, golden or clear ''nerve-soothing and

free and liberated vocal chords'' liquid.

I only dance when nobody is watching

because though I may be having a great time

''dancing'', I'm pretty sure nobody else would.

Have you heard of ''the inner critic''?

Well, if you have, sorry, but I've been

thinking a lot lately about that inner voice that

has a tendency to keep whispering derogative

and negative thoughts constantly.

Those in the know say that the inner critic 

is a conglomeration of negative/hurtful messages

we've heard/been told/read about us somewhere along

the road we call life.

Often we tend to hold on to hurtful words

more than positive and encouraging ones.

Basically, human beings need validation.

Positive and encouraging support now and then.

If we are never told that we are worthy, lovable

 and or appreciated, eventually we will find

it hard to believe anyone who tells us we are.

When I was 16 years old an old vitriolic(bitter)

man told me that I had no talent and that I would never

be good enough to make it as a musician.

-Well, old man, you were wrong. Not only did

making music become my living but my dream 

of playing my own composed pieces of jazz music

with some of the very best jazz musicians in the USA 

come true, I've even managed to perform on MTV and

win numerous music competitions.

(Put that in your pipe and smoke it, old man!!!!

Well, you know what I mean.)

I think that listening to that inner critic has its place.

Sometimes a little self reflection can be helpful 

because it can be easy to get tangled up in

selfishness and egocentrism.

Personally I do not believe that empathy(which

some people seem to spout) is

a ''loser mentality'' as some suggest.

A healthy balance between self-scrutiny and

self-belief often seem to make for a less chaotic

 and/or messy life in my view.

And empathy, in my opinion, is the very glue

that offer some hope that us humans can grow

better at getting along.

Dance if you want to,

sing if you want to,

play an instrument if you want to,

paint if you want to, etc, etc, etc....

But I do believe that you have to decide whether

 you want to

do those things because you enjoy doing them

or if you want to do them because

you want to get peoples feedback.

(Do things publicly and the public will offer their opinions)

about the image: quick graphite sketch on paper, some

editing in Elements

Your thoughts are the architects of your future..............................

''Change your thoughts and you change your world.''

(Norman Vincent Peale)

According to a Greek philosopher by the name of

Heraclitus ''Nothing endures but change.''

(He also said that ''no man steps in the same river

twice''.)

According to those in the know, us humans don't

like uncertainty. We like certainty, we feel safer when

we can predict what is going to happen next and when we

feel that we have some form of control, be it individually 

or collectively.

Some suggest that change is exhausting for the brain

because change means that the brain has to create

new neural pathways. (thinking/behaviour patterns)

Habits, are basically well-used/worn neural pathways

that we use so often that we tend do so without even

 being aware of doing it.

Research suggest that we make enormous amounts

of decisions and adjustments every day so habits

(basically decisions/opinions we stick with through thick

and thin) really helps to take a bit of pressure off the brain.

What most of us would probably call an ''ordinary day''

often consists of a bunch of things we do the same

way everyday. Often only when something un-expected 

interrupts our ordinary day do we realize how much

we take for granted and how much we do

 automatically and without thinking about it.

(Such as if the water/electricity is suddenly gone, or 

the car won't start, the bus doesn't show, etc. etc.)

Just as we do things habitually, we think habitually.

We have behaviour and thinking habits/patterns that

we start to create/form/shape very early in life.

These patterns become so ingrained in our consciousness(es)

that often we don't even question whether we actually

still adhere to those patterns/habits/opinions....

Commonly though, it is when something happens that 

severely challenges how effective or good our habitual thinking

and behaviour patterns are working 

that we find that we may need to motivate our ''brains''

 to find new neural pathways to guide our thinking

and behaving.

Change, in other words.

 I have found that asking myself ''why do

I think/behave this way?'' has been rather helpful

in finding out if I need to update different

aspects of my thinking and behaviour patterns/habits.

-Here, take this book and read it, he said and handed me

the book.

I did. Halfway through the book I read : ''You are

responsible for your life.''

Yeah, yeah, I thought, of course I am. 

I'm writing that I read it, which I did, what I did not

do was READ and digest/process the words.

That only happened a few nights later driving

home from a (music) gig and halfway up Mount Tamborine

where I lived then.

As my car sped up the mountain I felt as if chains

were falling off my body and for the first time

in my life!!....... I felt free.

I, me, I am responsible for my life.

I get to decide for myself and with unquestionable

integrity and self-determination what I will include

in my life and what I will not.

From that moment I made many changes in my life.

 Some hard to make and some absolutely

necessary for the well being of my son.

''Change is inevitable,

success or failure the possible outcomes

but learning is a choice.'' (Braden Kelly)

''Change is the only constant in life."(Benjamin Franklin)

''Change is not a threat it is an opportunity.''(Seth Godin)

Change can be scary because it always brings

with it an element of uncertainty and an allusion of the unknown.

But, it also brings with it the potential of something

astounding, stupendous and most extraordinary.

Change is letting go of the balloon and watch it

as it soars higher and higher, free from a destination yet

heading there none the less.

''Change in itself is neither good nor bad.

It is what we do with it that makes it so.''

(Citizen Z)

''The greatest discovery of all time is that

a person can change his(/her/their) future by

merely changing his(/her/their) attitude.''

(Oprah Winfrey)

about the images: ''Tulips'', in flower language ''rebirth'', Photo

some editing in Elements

''Open the gates to possibilities'', photo some editing in Elements

Animals are ''people'' too.................a true story

''-I'm sorry, but I have bad news, said the young vet.

It's not looking good for Lovecraft(our cat). She

has an incurable tumor on her bladder and she is too 

old and too frail to be able to re-coup from surgery.

The best thing for her is to let her go.''

My son and I looked at each other.

How?

 How do you let go of someone you have

loved and lived with for 15 years?

-We have a room for you to spend some time in

with Lovecraft and decide what you want to do,

said the kind vet and lead us to the special room.

As we entered the room the vet returned with

Lovecraft wrapped in a towel and handed her to my son.

After much crying and deciding what to do,

we said goodbye to our very beloved Lovecraft.

My son and I are both cat people.

We both prefer cats to dogs for a number 

of different reasons.

In my view cats are entertaining, mysterious,

smart, emotionally sensitive and kinda the ''artists''

of the animal kind.

One of my cats actually used to ''play'' the

piano. Well, not so much play more like ''walk''

the piano. Linus, the cat, used to start playing

the piano if he was bored, wanted food or just

wanted to annoy me.

(If you too love cats, please go to youtube and check

out Catcerto.)

I digress.

Going through this sadness suddenly made me 

remember something that happened a long

time ago that involved a Golden Retriever.

But before I tell you that story I have to tell

you a bit about me.

I'm an impulsive person, can't stand bullies or mean people,

can't stand seeing animals being hurt, can't stand

seeing people being hurt, can't ignore people or animals 

who needs help, etc. etc. I rush in where fools don't

dare to tread and throw myself in the middle of

a fight even though I know I'm gonna get clobbered.

So, ....... driving down the highway to visit my folks 

suddenly a Golden Retriever runs out in front of

the car in front of me.

The dog gets hit and flies threw the air and lands

on the grassy strip in between the lanes.

I instantly veer off the highway and slam on the brakes.

I get out of the car and desperately try

to get to the dog.

The dog is sitting on the grass ....... crying!

Crying, making a sound like I've never heard before. 

I can still hear it even today. The dog is crying, I am

crying but still not able to cross the road.

Finally I just scream at the top of my lungs, hold up

my right hand as to say STOP! and run across

the road like a maniac.

As soon as I get close enough to the dog I start to

pat him(she?) on the head and say sshhhhh, sshhhhh.

I gently hug the dog and then notice that there is blood

streaming from the dog's eyes. With tears streaming

down my own eyes I start to just yell : STOP!! Somebody

just STOP and help us. Nobody stops.

This happened before there were mobile phones but

I knew that I had to get to a phone and call a vet as

soon as possible.

As luck would have it there was a public phone

kiosk across the highway. However, I didn't dare to leave

the dog incase he should try to run across the road

and then potentially be hit again.

But, I had to call for a vet.

Somehow I managed to coax the dog to lie down

and as soon as he seemed calm, I bolted for

the phone kiosk.

What happened next is a blur but I got hold

of a vet who said that he would come pronto.

I ran back to the dog as soon as I had hang up

the phone and found him still where I had left him.

An hour and a half later the vet showed up.

He lifted the dog of the ground and then gently carried 

 it to his van.

-Thanks, he said and handed me a business card.

And just like that they were gone.

The next day I called to find out if the dog had 

survived, which he had and was re-cooperating

well indeed.

By coincidence I bumped into a friend years

later who used to work at the vet clinic where the Golden

Retriever had been looked after so I asked if

she new what had happened to the Golden Retriever.

-The dog, she said, stayed with them until he was

fit and well again.

Everybody at the vet clinic loved him and

since nobody came looking for him,

one day, one of the volunteers just took him

home with him.

The End.

Every word of that story is true.

Amazing, methinks.

(Although, the memory of that dog flying

through the air, landing in the middle of the

highway and sitting there crying blood tears

is forever etched into my corneas.)

''The greatness of a nation can be judged by the

way it treats its animals.''

(Mahatma Gandhi)

about the image: sketch on paper some editing

in Elements.

(I have never tried to draw a dog before.

Hope you like it.)