Don't let the weather get you down......

''A change in the weather is sufficient to recreate the world and

ourselves.'' (Marcel Proust)

When it comes to small talk, the weather is often a safe bet.

Perhaps it can be likened to a code that can be used to start

 conversations and overcome social inhibitions.

When I lived in the UK, the weather was a very common topic.

Especially when it was nice weather.

A clear blue sky with a friendly sun seemed to put a little

zing in most people's step.

There were picnics, walks, and games in the parks to be had.

Ice-creams to be devoured, cups of tea to be sipped,

and intimate conversations to be enjoyed.

 Sunny days were days,... for being outside.

 In a country often draped in gray clouds and on-and-off

downpours, being able to feel the sun on one's face,

to remove a layer or two of clothing, I can imagine would probably

feel quite exhilarating.

You see, I believe that the weather affects us.

Not only physically, but according to some science, also

psychologically.

Rain (yay! boo!) is vital for life and growth,

but too much rain, can be devastating and potentially deadly.

Sunshine (yay! boo!), vital for life and growth, if too much,

can also be devastating and potentially deadly.

For someone who relies on the weather for their livelihood,

the weather is a serious subject. Floods and drought can often

lead to significant mental health consequences for farmers

and all those who work in areas that depend on the weather.

Australia is a country with huge farms but not until I visited

one personally did I realize just how important the weather is

 for the farmers.

 To be a farmer here in Australia takes a lot

of stamina, courage and resilience.

The farmer has to contend with bush fires, drought, insect and

rodent infestations, water spouts, hurricanes, etc. etc. etc.

Just so we are on the same page, a definition of the term weather.

Weather incorporates components such as: temperature, 

atmospheric pressure, wind, humidity, 

precipitation and cloudiness.

Although some of us may like windy and rainy days,

we have no problem with barometric pressure or humidity,

for some other of us however, they are an issue.

Windy days can be catastrophic for people suffering

with allergies, rainy or humid days can make some people

moody, irritable, and or tired. Barometric pressure can

trigger headaches in some of us but temperature, I contend,

 affects most of us in some way or another.

My first few years here in OZ, I experienced only two seasons:

Hot and bloody hot. A few years later I added muggy and bone-dry.

Now they are back to two: hot and muggy, bloody hot and bone-dry.

(One may think that I ought to be used to the weather here by now,

but for some inexplicable reason, ... I'm not.)

Fossicking through a number of sites on weather and 

how we are affected by it, I am afraid that I have found

nothing yet that meets the criteria that I am looking for.

All I can say for sure is that there seems to be a general

consensus on most of the sites that the 

weather does affect us.

In conclusion: I can't make one. 

There are way too many variables.

How the weather affects us depends

 on the day, on the time of day,

where we are, where we are going,

who we are with, who we left behind,

what we are doing, what we did,

what we are feeling, what we are thinking,

what we believe, what we perceive,

etc. etc. etc.

''It can be hard to look cool and be warm at the same time.''

''The sound of the rain needs no translation.''

(Allan Watts)

 

about the image: acrylic on canvas

There is solace to be found in the arts........

 They called her ''Lady Day'', but her real name was Eleanora Fagan.

Professionally she was known as Billie Holiday, and though she

didn't live a long life, her artistry still lives on today.

Her life was not a happy one. Already at the tender age of nine she

had to learn to fend for herself. 

When she was 15 years old she renamed herself ''Billie'' and

began to sing in local clubs in New York.

Music, she discovered, offered her solace.

Like so many other musicians/artists before and after her,

she struggled with substance abuse, failed relationships and

a life fraught with many hardships.

Eventually her hard life caught up with her and she died

in a hospital on July 17, 1959.

In spite of all her hardship, substance and physical abuse,

she still managed to produce amazing music and is by many

musicians considered as one of the best jazz vocalists of

all time.

''To be a ''real'' artist you need to suffer for your art.''

''You don't know how to play the Blues

unless you've lived it.''

Is there something to the trope of the tortured artist

or is it just another myth?

''We need to stop using ''the myth of the tortured artist'' to

dismiss creatives with mental health issues and instead

recognize the therapeutic potential of art.'' (Cerys Wiles)

Is turmoil and hardship somehow some kind of 

necessary ''fuel'' for creativity?

Is it possible to live a contented, harmonious and happy

life and be a great artist?

Why is an artist's suffering so often perceived as a necessity for a

''true'' artistic expression although recent research shows

that rather than improve creativity, it impedes it?

What if it is not suffering that makes great artists great

but their ability to express emotions that others can connect

and relate to?

Human beings, we are told, are social beings. We like to

share and exchange experiences with others. Doing so

we create relationships, form bonds and help us understand 

ourselves and others. Usually we do this with the use of

words, but sometimes words just aren't enough.

 This.... is the time when the arts can come in handy.

''Art and music shine a light of meaning on ordinary life,

and through them we are able to confront the things that

trouble us and to find consolation and peace in their

presence.'' (Roger Scruton)

''Music expresses that which cannot be said and on

which it is impossible to remain silent.'' (Victor Hugo)

''Music can change the world." (Ludwig van Beethoven)

''Dance is the hidden language of the soul.'' (Martha Graham)

''Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.'' (Edgar Degas)

''When artists give form to revelation, their art can advance,

deepen and potentially transform the consciousness of their

community.'' (Alex Grey)

In my view, it was not all the suffering that Billie Holiday 

experienced that made her a great singer, rather, 

what made her a great singer was that she kept on singing

in spite of her tortuous life.

about the image: ''Lady Day''     ink on paper

Some ideas are excellent no matter how old they may be.............

 The waitress nonchalantly and from the corner of her mouth

told me to just ''swipe the phone with the QR stamp''.

''Sorry'' I said, ''I don't have a smartphone''.

(Well, I do, but I had left it at home that day.)

''Is there another way of signing in perhaps?'' I asked.

I was handed an iPad and a minute later I was signed in.

For almost two years our little family lived in the UK, North Devon.

 Actually, to be more precise, we lived in a quaint little village called Braunton.

Braunton is near the Saunton Sands, which is where my spouse's

elderly parents lived in a small, white-chalked cottage

with a view of the open Celtic Sea. 

Occasionally, some brave surfer dressed in rubber from top to

toe would ride the waves and I couldn't help but admire

his or her resolve to ignore the chilling weather.

 The transition from a sunny, warm and tropical Queensland

to a cold, wet and windy North Devon, was quite the challenge.

(I think I was shivering with cold for our first two weeks in

Britain.)

But, we were there on a mission, 

we wanted our boy to have some time 

with his grand-parents before it would be too late.

We found a reasonably priced but surprisingly wonderful place to rent

 in Braunton, and once I had set up my little recording studio and practice room,

I felt settled. 

My partner started to look for a job, we enrolled our

son in ''kindie'' and I started to work on an album.(music)

We bought a Triumph Stag and decided to explore Devon.

Though it took some time to get used to safely navigating the mostly

single and very narrow lanes, the beauty of the landscape was

awe inspiring. 

At times it felt almost as if we might have entered into a Constable, 

Turner or Gainsborough painting. Even the bright red telephone

booths scattered through the villages and hamlets seemed to belong,

although they perhaps signified a more contemporary time than

the landscape in which they stood tall.

These days, most of those red telephone booths have been

removed. And, as far as I can ascertain, phone booths in general

and in many countries, are often viewed as obsolete.

Which in my view is a shame.

When I was a kid, a phone booth offered privacy, a shelter from

nasty weather, a hiding place from bullies, a secret meeting place

for friends, and a point of access for getting help. (Police, hospitals, etc. etc.)

Taking or making phone calls, if I remember right, was generally

 viewed as more of a private rather than a public undertaking.

These days, whether we like it or not, we are often exposed

to other peoples phone conversations.

(I don't know about you, but I find it quite embarrassing.

Before phones became mobile, they used to be designated to

specific places such as the hallway, the office, or the bedroom.

So, whoever was making or receiving a call, would do so in private.)

The development of the capabilities of the mobile phone has

perhaps been so rapid that we haven't had the time to figure

out whether we need to attach some form of etiquette to its use.

Is it okay for instance to:

Accept a call when in the middle of a face to face conversation?

Discuss private/personal matters when strangers can hear it?

Receive and make calls when in a restaurant, coffee shop, 

movie theater, doctor's surgery, etc. etc. ?

I guess the only answer to those questions is: it depends.

There is no doubt that the mobile phone is very handy

in a number of ways. However, walking around a very large

shopping center the other day looking for a public phone

and not finding even one, I can't help but wonder the wisdom

in removing all public phones.

I mean, batteries can die, reception can be iffy, some folks

can't afford expensive smart phones, sometimes we may forget

to bring our phones, etc. etc. 

It's late at night. You're driving through some uninhabited land.

Suddenly you have a tyre blow out. You pull over.

When you get your spare out you discover that it is flat.

You try to call for road assistance on your mobile

 but there's no reception. What will you do?

Probably, you'll lock the car and start walking.

Wouldn't it be nice if just up the road you see

an all lit up phone booth?

Train stations, bus terminals, airports, hotels, motels,

hospitals, etc. etc. used to have lots of public phones and or phonebooths.

Today........... not so much.

I think this is a mistake. 

Some ideas are excellent no matter how old they may be.

''We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today.

We removed all the phone booths and now Superman

has nowhere to change.''

(Quotemaster)

about the image: acrylic on canvas, some editing

What's so good about caring?.......

Caring.

Why should we care about others?

Are we even able to truly care about others without (though

probably subconsciously) it somehow

being (in some form or another), transactional?

Is there a ''right amount'' of caring for instance?

In order for us to deem something/someone worthy

of our care, is there some sort of ''test'' to be passed?

Are we capable of bypassing any moral and or ethical

judgements and just care regardless?

Or do we care because when we care for others we

feel better about ourselves?

Is ''true'' altruism (=selfless concern for the benefit of others)

 even possible?

At the bottom of every good ''deed'' that we do for

the benefit of someone/something else, can we really

be sure that personal gratification of some form

does not enter into it?

 My so far humble research into this matter tells me that

there is no definitive answer.

A being who experiences itself as a self, is such a being capable

of experiencing anything outside of the self?

What do we mean with caring?

When I began this post I did not realize just how

difficult it is to pinpoint what caring is. For instance:

 It is something one does, it something one experiences on

an emotional level, and often it involves a lot of different feelings

and thoughts.

In my view, it seems caring is a complicated mixture of

social conditioning, personal background/history, ethical

and moral perspective, and functioning belief system.

''Caring is the right thing to do, caring about others

makes us good people, caring for each other is the foundation

of a good society, my folks always told me that

 caring for each other is what a family does, etc. etc.''

For some of us, caring comes easy, for some of us others,

not so much. According to some recent research done

on some students in the US, tests show that students

have been scoring lower and lower on empathy(caring) tests.

In an episode of the Simpsons a teary-eyed Lisa asks her father:

''But dad, why don't you say something?''

Homer: ''Because I just don't care, Lisa.''

For Lisa, not caring is not an option. 

She cares about everything.

Some research say, many of us don't.

But we can change.

Every new day we are given, we are given

 an opportunity to care more deeply,

more passionately, and more sincerely.

''Every act of caring, carries with it its own unique reward.''

(Citizen Z)

''Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.

For, indeed, that's all who ever have.''

(Margaret Mead)

''Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile,

a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or

the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential

to turn a life around.''

(Leo Buscaglia)

about the image: acrylic on canvas, some photoshop editing

Sometimes we cry, so what? Our tears show we are human.

 

I was once asked by a friend to write about pain on my blog.

What kind of pain would you like me to write about? I asked.

The kind that never goes away, she answered.

Knowing that my friend has had to cope with crippling

arthritic and emotional pain for most of her life, I have

to admit that I wasn't quite sure where to start. 

What is pain? for instance. A suggestion:

Physical pain: an unpleasant sensory experience associated with

actual (or potential) tissue damage.

Psychological/emotional pain: an unpleasant sensory and mind

 experience associated with both a physical and non-physical origin.

Whether the pain is associated with tissue or emotional ''damage'',

pain....... hurts.

How we experience that hurt is different for each of us. 

In my view, there are aspects that influence how we experience pain

whether it be physical or psychological, such as

 personality, level of pain threshold, attitude, belief-system,

upbringing, social context, etc. etc.

Sadly, psychological/emotional pain is often regarded as less

serious than physical pain.

''What do you mean, heart-ache? The heart is just a pump and unless

you're having a heart attack, it isn't actually hurting''.

''Just get over it, it's all in your head.''

''Mind over matter, that's all it is. Nothing is broken is it?''

For those of us who live with chronic physical pain, more

often than not, we also experience different levels of emotional pain.

It takes a lot of mental energy to cope with chronic pain and

though there are meds for all sorts of chronic illnesses, some

have such awful side-effects that rather than being helpful

they may cause more issues and more ''pain''.

(The Oxy epidemic springs to mind.)

I don't know if it's a universal thing, but in my experience

''society'' often prefers that one hides one's emotional pain

and puts on brave face rather than showing it.

Most of us probably feel quite uncomfortable, for a bunch 

of different reasons, in the company of someone in pain.

Many of us want to help in some way so we do what

most of us usually do, we suggest stuff that we think

may help.

Our ''mirror neurons'' kick in.

''Have you tried...? Have you considered...?''

or ''I know what you are going through because when I.....''

We are just trying to be helpful, but here's the thing,

it would probably be experienced as more helpful and supportive

 if instead of suggesting things to do for the sufferer, we simply

ask: ''You seem to be in a lot of pain, is there anything

 I can do for you?''

''You seem really anxious and down, would you like me to

hang around for a while?''

''You seem really angry and frustrated, would you like

to talk about it?''

For those of us who suffer with both physical and

 emotional/psychological chronic pain it can be

tempting to want to withdraw from company,

to isolate ourselves, to seek ''respite'' in pills,

alcohol, or something, anything, that can help distract us 

from our pain.

Good news: Distraction works. However, there's no need for

drugs or booze or any other destructive ingredients.

Distraction Technique is a ''tool'' that can be very helpful.

Basically it just entails us putting all our attention

and energy into an activity that redirects our mind away

from our suffering. It actually blocks pain signals before

they reach the brain.

If I am in a lot of pain, I watch something (usually on a big

screen) evocative and absorbing, or listen to some

serious music in head-phones.

If the pain is less intense, I play scrabble or some sort

of numbers game on the computer while listening

to music or having the telly on in the background.

If the pain is just a low hum, I try to do something creative.

The crux is this: distracting oneself from oneself.

Sometimes coping with pain, whatever kind, can be 

overwhelming, and on such occasions I have found

it quite helpful to allow myself to rage and wallow

in self-pity, but only for ten minutes or so.

Self-pity can be exhausting methinks.

''You never know how strong you are until being

strong is your only choice.''

(Bob Marley)

about the image: acrylic on large canvas

titled ''Pain"

What is your inner self telling you about you?

The above image is a visual representation of a place that

I go to when my mind refuses to stop it's ''chattering''.

Apparently ''thought-chattering'' is something that afflicts the 

human species.

Ever gone to bed, turned out the light, pulled up the covers

and closed your eyes only to find your mind invaded by a

flurry of thoughts making sleep impossible?

Those in the know reckons that whenever we aren't busy 

doing things the thought-chatter starts up.

Well, supposedly it's always there, it's just that we don't really

notice it when we are engaged in some kind of activity.

Commonly, thought-chatter is often more of the ''negative'' rather than

the ''positive'' kind. 

We may find our thoughts rummaging through the past and picking

out things we regret doing or saying rather than those we are proud or

happy with.

Or we may find our mind pre-occupied with worrying thoughts 

about the future.

Some call this thought-chattering, ''self-talk''.

I first came across the term ''self-talk'' years ago and I have

to say that learning how to recognize my own self-talk has proved

very helpful. 

Basically, self-talk is our own internal dialogue. It is what

we tell ourselves about ourselves and the language we use to do so.

For instance: ''Don't be an idiot! Just go along with it.''

''Don't ask any questions. They will think you're stupid.''

''I'm too soft, I should be stronger.''

''I'll never be able to do that.''

or

''Just do it! You can do it!''

''Just have a go. Trying is worth it.''

''I can do anything when I put my mind to it.''

You know that voice inside of you that keeps commenting

on everything you do and say? that's the voice of your self-talk.

(There are other words for it: inner voice, gut instinct, wise mind,

inner guide, etc. etc.)

I have to admit that when I first read about ''self-talking'' I wasn't sure

of how to hear it, or should I say, notice it.

So, I decided to try and discover if I had an inner dialogue running

in my mind. 

This necessitated stillness and paying attention to my thoughts.

So I did.

What I discovered was that the self-talking never seemed to stop.

I also discovered that since it was my self speaking to me, I 

would be able to choose what the self was saying.

Basically, I decided to change the script of some of the self-talk

running in my mind because I'd found that thoughts pretty

much determines how I feel rather than the other way around.

Here are some examples of my new scripts:

It's okay to change one's mind. 

Failure does not exist, only less hoped for outcomes.

Being passionate and enthusiastic is an asset.

Being sensitive and compassionate is an asset.

Being willing to try something new is an asset.

Self reflection is helpful in gaining insight and wisdom.

Thinking about things one gains a deeper understanding.

It may seem simplistic, but, by changing our critical/negative inner

voice for a more supportive/positive one, how we feel about ourselves

and others, will change.

''Choose the words you say to yourself wisely;

they are creating your reality.''

(Sean Stephenson)

about the image: ink and acrylic on paper, edited in photoshop

How trustworthy are you?

 (Just in case you're wondering, the above image is depicting a hand grenade.)

Trust.

Such a small word that encompasses so much.

It colours most of our relationships with our

families, friends, medical practitioners, government officials,

etc. etc. etc.

Trust, although outside of anything to do with any kind

of religion, is in my view still based on faith(belief).

A belief that the people(or government) we trust in will behave in

 certain ways.

Trust however when it boils down to it, rather than being

something solid or certain, I contend is a mere abstract mental attitude.

We trust the postman to deliver our mail, we trust the bank

to look after our money, we trust our doctor to find remedies

and treatments for our illnesses, we trust other drivers to

stop at the red lights, we trust others to adhere to common

courtesies, we trust store clerks not to steal our card details,

etc. etc.

Why? 

Apparently, it's in our ''DNA'' to trust, we are social beings

and already from the get go we begin to socially interact

with others. Our tendency to trust, makes sense from an 

evolutionary perspective, so says some research.

Some even suggest that we trust routinely, reflexively,

and occasionally ''mindlessly''. We especially trust people who

''looks'' a bit like us, or seem to belong to our ''social group''.

Often however, we don't ask ourselves why we trust someone

and mistrust someone else. If someone would ask us: ''why do you

trust ''A'' and not ''B'' when they have the same credentials?'',

sometimes our answer may simply be: ''I don't know really, it's just

a gut feeling.''

Basic trustworthiness in people and institutions around us

as far as I can ascertain, is accumulated through our own 

experiences thereof.

Unfortunately, trust or mistrust, both experiences tend to stick.

Once we have decided on whether a person or ''institution''

(the police, healthcare, employment networks, councils, etc.)

is trustworthy or not, we often don't question our outlook.

Why is a collective trust important in a society?

''Trust is the foundation upon which the legitimacy of

public institutions is built and is crucial in maintaining

social cohesion.''

Why is individual trust important?

Belonging and Love, are some of mankind's most

profound needs, according to Maslow's

Hierarchy (theory) of needs.

Both, require trust as a foundation.

Trust perhaps can be likened to a flexible "glue'' 

that holds things together.

But unlike most glue, ''it can't be bought in a Supermarket''.

Trust, in my view, is not static, it is flexible.

It also is ''organic'', as in: it needs nurturing and TLC.

In my experience, these are some suggestions of

what I believe inspires trust:

Being true to one's word and following through with

actions that solidifies those words.

Respect.

Patience.

Keeping an open mind.

Willingness to listen.

Being supportive.

Transparency.

Never disclosing words spoken in confidence.

These days with Social media, the Dark Net, etc. etc. and the

possibility for anyone to post anything at any time

it can be hard to know who to trust.

Which is reflected in surveys done on peoples trust in

Governments doing their best for their citizens.

According to Edelman's Trust Barometer, it's at an all time low.

Public and Private institutions are run by human beings.

Regardless of position held within those institutions,

it is still a human being with all his/her flaws and biases

who makes the decisions.

We may have little power to influence the level of trustworthiness

in the people who makes decisions ''on our behalf'',

but we do have the power to decide our own

trustworthiness.

''Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be

trusted in important affairs.'' (Albert Einstein)

''Your character holds the key to your trustworthiness.''

(Jeffrey Gitomer)

about the image: ink and water colour on paper edited in Photoshop