'Being on one crutch to no crutches is a huge difference.'
(Lindsey Vonn)
Lindsey knows. As an Olympic alpine downhill skier she has personal
experience of what it is like to be so badly injured that doctors
and experts alike doubt whether walking unaided (without crutches)
is even within the realms of possibilities.
Watching the Winter Olympics, one of the commentators
waxed lyrical as Linsey was standing at the gate
ready to start her downhill race: ''This is Linsey's last
Olympics and at 41 years of age and having undergone
numerous knee and leg surgeries, she truly is an Olympic
Champion!''
Then seconds later........... she crashed.......again.
She was airlifted away. But, will she race again once
she is off the crutches..... again?
Who knows.....she sure is a Champion though.
As well as physical crutches, we also have
psychological ones. (Says those in the know.)
For example:
''That's just a crutch! someone may say during an argument.
This I take to mean that whatever argument we may
have presented, it is deemed as very weak and can't stand on its
own two legs, so to speak.
-Did you steal that toy, Billy?
-Naah, Tommie told me I had to take it or he'd
beat me!!!
-Why did you lie to me?
-Baby, I only didn't tell you the truth coz I didn't wanna
hurt ya. I was thinking about you.
A psychological crutch can be anything that we
think is going to help us get through/deal with a tricky
situation.
Anything, as in denial, pretending, ignoring, disassociating,
avoiding, blocking out, minimizing the ''anything'', etc. etc. etc.
But, also anything as in supporting and helping us
when or if our mobility is inhibited. Crutches also
aids us in giving us more independence and to be able
to do things for ourselves.
Although the term crutch may often be used in a
derogatory way, the more I ponder and research it,
I wonder if it is perhaps not just another ''tool''
in the ''coping-strategies'' cabinet?
And like a tool can be used in both a helpful or not
helpful way, is that not the same with coping-
strategies? Methinks so.
I don't drink alcohol/do drugs or do one-night stands.
I did. A lot. But as a
coping-strategy, let me tell you, it sux and is
in no way helpful as far as I can ascertain.
What I have discovered is a helpful
coping-strategy, is to actually deal with whatever
it is that is causing us/me emotional pain or hurt.
Finding the core of the problem in other words.
Although, this does require honesty and self-reflection.
It also requires bravery, patience, forgiveness and
tenacity.
I may tell myself that I prefer my own company,
but..... always?
I may tell myself that people just don't get me,
but.....all the people?
I may tell myself that a few drinks makes me
more sociable...........but how many are a few?
I may tell myself that I'm nice to every one,
except for............. strange and foreign others.
I may tell myself that I'm easy going and happy,
I'm just a little down in the dumps at the moment.
When my son changed from a basket ball surfing dude
to a goth.........my life suddenly became very complicated
and I had to dig deep to find out who I was.
(I mean besides the obvious....his parent)
Suddenly my son became someone new.
I had to decide what or how I was going to deal
with it. My friends told me to kick him out unless
he does what you tell him!
I did do a lot of soul searching and decided that
I was going to understand why! he had become a goth.
He tried to explain and one day....I got it......he was
slowly cracking the cocoon and about to burst forth.
Whatever expectations I may have had(I did),
I had to just let them go.
I grieved so much that it made me realize that I needed
help. Professional help.
I was ready to find out who I really was
or at least, could try my best to become.
No crutches, just good/helpful coping-strategies.
Of course, nowadays Technology fills all
requirements for what makes a good crutch.
It encourages dependency for....well....most things.
No longer do we need to do our own critical thinking,
use our own memory, or carry on an authentic
communication face to face voice to voice.
Don't like who you are?
Become somebody else, just code yourself into
someone you think everybody will like.
Become a catfish, a pretend A.I
or any kind of ''being'' you
hope someone else will fancy.
Our little pocket computers can
add what we need, delete what we don't,
so........ send the rest to the event horizon?
*
''Technology can easily become a crutch,
something to hide behind when we don't
dare to be who we really are.''
(Citizen Z)
about the image: ''Crutches help me to Dance"
Graphite on paper, edited in Elements.
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