Changed thinking, changed emotions.........

 

Why do we often find it so hard to change our

thinking?

According to those in the know, even if we are presented

with facts and evidence that upends our current thinking,

we tend to stick with our old way of thinking.

This they say, is because our beliefs are the key to

our understanding of who we are and the way

we understand the world we live in.

In other words, our belief-systems are so deeply

ingrained in us that to change any part of it

can feel like we are unravelling our identity.

''Your life does not get better by chance; it gets

better by change.'' (Jim Rohn)

"If you don't like something, change it.

If you can't change it, change your attitude.''

(Maya Angelou)

What does it take for us to change our thinking?

What does it take for us to differentiate facts from opinion, 

evidence from hearsay, what we know from what we

think we know?

What does it take for us to be willing to entertain

the notion that perhaps rather than thinking with a

''right and wrong mindset'', there may be many

other possible mindsets of thinking?

Emotions, whether we are aware of them or not, 

profoundly influence our thinking.

(Although much societal emphasis is given to rationality,

some recent research shows that only 5-10% of

the decisions we make are based on rationality.)

Emotions; how we feel about something, together 

with our cognitive biases (belief perseverance), 

those in the know say far outweigh logic and rationality

when it comes to how we think and perceive the world

we live in. 

Our thoughts create our feelings, and our feelings

drive our behaviour.

Someone once described it to me this way:

There's a situation. (S)

In response to that situation there's a thought. (T)

That thought evokes an emotional response. (E)

Example:

S > Where's my phone? It should be here where

I left it.

T > Somebody has stolen my phone!

E > Anger, disappointment, frustration.

or

S > Where's my phone? It should be here where

I left it.

T > Did I move my phone? I better check. 

I may have left it at my desk.

E > Optimism, positive mindset.

When I was a performing musician, there were times when

the gigs dried up and I had to find other work

in order to pay the bills for me and my son.

Most of the time that meant working in different

warehouses picking and packing orders.

As I found the work tedious I would entertain 

myself by trying to do the work faster and more

efficiently.

This did not go down well with the ''regulars''

which resulted in them ''bullying'' and making

life difficult for me.

S > I need money to pay the bills.

T > I have to be here but I don't want to.

E > Anger, frustration, sadness.

I would come home absolutely wrecked and

depressed, until.........

S > I need money to pay the bills.

T > I'm here for the time being. I can't change

the way they treat me, but I can change how

I view their behaviour. For me this is a stop-gap

situation, for them it's all they've got.

E > This too will pass, and so will they...I'm okay.

Really understanding the connection between thoughts and 

emotions has been a great help for me in order

to better deal with and understand myself and the

world I live in.

Along the way of trying to better myself I have

made myself some 'self-help' tools that I would like to share

 with you.

''You may not be able to change the world,

but you can change you.''

*

''With your words you create your world.''

*

''Changed thinking, changed emotional response.''

*

''All possibilities entertained.''

*

''If you can't change your situation,

change your attitude to the situation.''

(Citizen Z)

''It's not the strongest of the species that survive,

nor the most intelligent,

but the one most responsive to change.''

(Charles Darwin)

about the image: Water colour on paper, some editing in Elements