Do you have a dream? Or, did you have a dream? And what I mean here with "dream" is obviously not our nocturnal journeys set in the subconscious, but rather, dreams as in aspirations.
Four nervous boys stepped on to the "America's got Talent" stage. Simon Cowell asked them where they were from, and one of the boys responded: "Atlanta, Georgia". "Why are you here?" asked Simon. The boy answered: "I was born very poor, my mother, me and my three brothers and sisters grew up in a one bedroom shack on the outskirts of Atlanta. I love music, I am passionate about it, and although I was born in to a choke-hold, that don't mean I have to stay there."
There are a number of sayings about where and how we are/were born: "he was was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, she was born on the wrong side of the tracks, he was born with a stick up his butt, she was born with a chip on her shoulder, etc.etc." I have to admit, I have never heard the expression "born in to a choke-hold" before, but it instantly triggered my imagination.
Born in to a choke-hold? I could think of a number of different situations that could perhaps be defined as choke-holds such as: poverty, abuse, famine, war, genetically inherited illnesses, parents with mental illnesses, parents with addictions, all manners of body issues such as blindness, deafness, etc.etc.
But it was what the boy said after "choke-hold" that really grabbed my attention...."that don't mean I have to stay there". (Oh, by the way, the boys succeeded to get through to the next round, they sang up a storm and the audience as well as the judges loved their performance.)
There are millions of babies born in to choke-holds every day, some overcome those choke-holds as they grow up, but some, for a myriad of reasons, ... don't.
This is where having a dream can come in handy in my view. Envisaging in one's "mind's eye" the possibility of breaking free from any kind of a choke-hold, seeing the future as full of opportunities, possibilities, and potentials rather than that of pitfalls, obstacles, and dead-ends, can be very empowering. These dreams do not necessarily have to be "big" ones such as for instance: becoming the president of a country or a multi-million dollar corporation, invent a cure for all cancers, design a quantum computer smaller than a match-box, etc.etc. they can be smaller: to find a good job, to get a collage degree, to learn a new language, travel, raise a functional family, etc.etc.
Many of us, when faced with difficulties and hardships, often find ourselves getting stuck in a loop of thoughts regurgitating all the things we can't do rather than focusing on what we can do.
As far back as I can remember, my dream has been to become a professional musician and composer. My aspiration was not to become rich or famous, rather, it was to be able to play and compose beautiful music that people could connect with. When I was 15 years old, I did a sort of a piano audition for a man who was a flautist of some re-known. Very matter of fact, he told me that I was un-talented and did not have what it takes to become a professional musician, little less a composer. My heart sank as he said those words and I felt crushed to the very core of my heart and soul. Well, for a few hours that is....however, my dream was much stronger than his words. I disregarded his words, and followed my dream. I became a professional musician and composer, and when my son was still very young I fulfilled my ultimate dream: to perform my own jazz compositions in the USA with some of the jazz greats.
There are many wonderful aspects to having dreams/aspirations: it can provide focus, motivation, determination, tenacity, assist us to be forward-looking, solution seeking, and experience a deep sense of purpose and meaning to our existence.
Our aspirations may be more of a day-to-day kind: "today I will not sweat the small stuff, today I will be more compassionate, today I will be more patient, today I will focus on what is good in my life, today I will focus on the things I can do rather than what I can't do, etc.etc."
How we feel, is often the result of our thoughts, so if we want to change how we feel, a good place to begin is to change our thoughts.
"What if I don't have a dream or aspirations, what then?" you may ask.
Is there something you would like to achieve, something you would like to change, something you would like to learn more about, something you aspire to? Spend a little time thinking on those things and you may discover that you do have some aspirations....and perhaps even dreams.
Most kids have "dreams", and if a child is asked: "if one dream that you have could come true, what would that be?" more often than not, there will be an answer.
Personally, I believe that no matter what age, having dreams and aspirations can be very beneficial to our well being. Why? Because they offer a sense of purpose and meaning to our lives.
"Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams.
Think not about your frustrations but your unfulfilled potential.
Concern yourself not with what you've tried and failed in,
but with what it is still possible for you to do." (Pope John XXIII)
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