Is there such a thing as "normal"?

 

Many of life's "battle scars" are invisible; a cuddly teddy bear with many patches may perhaps be interpreted as a "well loved" toy, but I wonder,  are we as favourably inclined with people?

How tolerant, patient, or accepting are we of those among us who very visibly show signs of
"battle fatigue"? (People who battle with mental health issues, or any other issues that may affect their behaviour.)

"Yeah, I know he suffers with PTSD, but come on, surely that doesn't mean he can't behave like normal people?"

"Yeah, I know she lost her job, and that her car was repossessed, but surely, it can't be that hard to get another job? I mean, why doesn't she just do what normal people do, get another job, any job?"

"I heard that he has a drinking problem, but he just has to stop drinking like a mad man, and drink like normal people and he will be alright."

Yeah, I know she has some sort of anxiety problem, but why doesn't she do like normal people, suck it up and just get on with life?

"So what if he has Bipolar disorder, it's just a label anyway, if he really wanted to, he could change his behaviour and act like normal people."

Normal? Hmmmm.........

This is how the Urban Dictionary defines normal: "A word made up by this corrupt society so they could single out and attack those who are different." Normal is about as concrete as the idea of "love". The meaning is constantly evolved to suit the momentary desires and/or needs of a single person, or group of people."
Another definition is: "conforming to the standard or the common type."(dictionary.reference.com)

Wikipedia: "Definitions of normality vary by person, time, place, and situation – it changes along with changing societal standards and norms."

Perhaps, what we deem normal, keeps changing according to the changes occurring in our environment/culture/society?

The behaviours we perceive our society, friends, and family expects from us, are often instrumental in determining how appropriate (normal) we measure our own (and others) behaviours to be.

(Example: Speaking loudly and animatedly; normal in some cultures, but less so in others.

Crying in public; normal in some cultures, but less so in others.)

Understanding what we perceive to be expected from us, and what we can deliver on the other hand, may prove to be difficult. We may want to be more "social" and easy going, but if we have experienced rejection many times when we have attempted such, we may find it very difficult to overcome our past experiences; we may have healed, but we still have scars. (patches)

Feeling upset, worried, hurt, rejected, ignored, isolated, sad, lonely, disappointed, uncertain, et cetera, is common to human beings. So is feeling happy, joyful, confident, passionate, exuberant, energetic,

glad, optimistic, pleased, thankful, et cetera. Let me ask this; when we experience such feelings, is there a "normal" amount attached, and if so, who decides such?

Be sad, but not too sad, be glad, but not too glad?

Laugh out loud, but not too loud, cry for your loss, but not for too long?

Don't wear your heart on your sleeve, stiff upper lip, ol'boy....

Laughing out loud at a joke with friends, considered a normal response,

laughing at the same joke on a bus when alone, you're strange.

Crying out loud in the company of friends, often frowned upon,

crying out loud according to norm, must be done when you're all alone.

 

 “Everybody knows there is no such thing as normal. There is no black-and-white definition of normal. Normal is subjective. There's only a messy, inconsistent, silly, hopeful version of how we feel most at home in our lives.”   (Tori Spelling)

 

 “Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.”

(Dietrich Bonhoeffer)