Toys? or something much more sinister....?

 Toys.

What are they?

''An object for a child to play with, typically a model or 

miniature replica of something.'' (Often something adults

''play'' with or use. ''Monkey see, monkey do.'')

''Toys play an important role in a child's holistic development'',

is a statement that many who work with children seem to 

be able to agree on.

Where there seem to be serious disagreements as far as I can

ascertain, is which toys to label ''good'' and which to label ''bad''.

In order for a toy to be able to promote holistic development

in a child, some in ''the know'' suggest the following:

It needs to promote independence rather than dependence.

It should help the child to develop multiple skills.

It should be a toy that the child feels safe and comfortable

to play with and doesn't make him/her feel anxious or fearful.

It should be a toy that the child can play with on his/her

own without any adult supervision.

It should be a toy that enhances communication

and language skills and offers the child a sense of

exploration and fun.

Aha, you may think, there's one gadget that ticks

most of the items on the above list: the mobile/smart phone

and or the Kid's Tablet.

Question is, have they been around long enough

in order for there to be reliable research done that

determines if spending screen time on those gadgets

actually do provide any educational or developmental

benefits.

Already there are some that suggest that spending ''too

much'' screen time can be linked to behaviour problems

and delayed social development in older children.

If a tablet or mobile phone is used as a replacement for

face to face parent and child interaction, this can

potentially affect the quality of engagement between

child and parent.

Dr. Dimitri Christakis, pediatrician: ''The most important 

thing for children is time with parents and caregivers.''

Dr. Rahil Briggs, pediatric psychologist, says that

tablet/screen use needs to be limited for the 

youngest of children because it may interfere with

language skills/development and for older

children it may slow down social development.

Children may see tablets and smart phones as ''toys'',

but .... the thing is, they are small .... pocket

sized computers.

And most gadgets and computers are connected to 

The Whole Wide World.....and this....

has the potential to cause all manner of peril.

A few weeks ago I watched a news flash showing two thirteen

year old boys being arrested for having tried to rob a shop

using toy/replica guns. Apprehending the boys and their weapons

the police realized that the guns were not ''real'' however, the fear and

threat the victims in the shop experienced was very much real.

This prompted me to investigate what kind of toy guns are available 

to children.

Wow. What I found was kind of shocking.

Not only are there toy guns but also ''toy'' pump action rifles,

Gatling guns, AK-47 machine guns, revolvers, sniper rifles,

etc.

After having read through more than a dozen different articles on

the pro's and con's the effect playing with guns may have on

children, I don't know what to think really.

Having said that, one thing I think that most children will learn

 from playing with guns, is that guns, are powerful.

And when using tablets and smartphones, as the children grow older,

many discover that power can also be had by using words.

There are many ways in which power can be expressed.

Perhaps if we taught our children that there is nothing

more powerful than kindness, then there would be less guns

or any other deadly weapons needed.

''In the long run, the power of kindness can redeem

beyond the power of force to destroy.

There is a vast reservoir of kindness that we can

no longer afford to disregard.''

(John MacAulay)

about the top image: Beware of the unscrupulous man

who trick us into believing that ''toy weapons'' are

harmless toys just so that he can make more money.

A collage of 3 different acrylic paintings on canvas

and one sketch on paper.

One Heart..........

 Carefully he opened the old wooden door.

Making as little noise as possible he tiptoed into

the darkness of the temple.

Fearing discovery he quickly squatted behind a small

table.

As the minutes passed and all remained still, he decided

that nobody knew that he was there.

His eyes searched for movement, but there was none.

Slowly he rose to his feet.

Once again his eyes searched for movement.

Nothing.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath of air.

As he was doing so he felt as if his whole body

was filled to the brim by a sweet, sweet scent.

A sense of stillness, calmness, flowed through him

He felt as if for the first time he was almost weightless.

Slowly he started to sway his body back and forth.

Gone was his grumbling stomach, his aching feet,

his sadness, and his loneliness.

He kept swaying a little longer then opened his eyes.

His eyes now used to the darkness he could see

that at the far end of the space he was in there was

a large statue of some sort.

Carefully he made his way toward the statue.

The statue was so big that it made him feel even smaller

than usual.

-This must be a very important man, he said himself.

Not knowing who the man was didn't matter to him,

because looking at statue made him feel peaceful.

Although the stone floor was quite cold and he

was only dressed in an over-sized old t-shirt,

he decided to sit down in front of the statue for awhile.

Placing his legs in a lotus position,

crossing his arms across his chest, he closed his

eyes and again gently swayed back and forth.

Again he felt weightless.

Suddenly, a new scent entered his consciousness.

He knew the scent, it was the scent of candles.

Candles meant people.

He quickly got to his feet with his eyes darting

here, there and everywhere.

Somebody touched him.

Instantly his whole body froze with fear.

Living on the streets had taught him to

be weary of people as they often come in many

disguises.

He remained frozen.

Until...... an old woman dressed in something white

with blue stripes on it and with a big smile on her

face stood in front of him.

-Come, she said.

Something about her told him that she was good.

-Where to? he asked.

-To get you some food and decent clothing, she answered.

Just follow me, she continued.

So he did.

Sitting down at a table and dipping some bread in a soup

he decided to ask her who the statue man was.

-Who is the statue man? he asked in a gentle voice.

-Oh, him, he was somebody who knew what we

all need, she answered.

-A good man?

-Oh, yes, a very good man with very much to teach us.

💗

Many Faiths. One Heart. Common Action.

about the image: acrylic on canvas, some Elements editing

''Recovery begins with dealing with pain and what's causing it, not avoiding it.''

In September 2011, Turia Pitt, while taking part in an ultra-marathon

event, found herself caught in a wildfire which quickly

engulfed her whole body. For four long hours she

waited before the rescue team finally found her.

She suffered burns to 65% of her body, she died three times,

lost all her fingers except for three and nobody

expected her to survive.

But she did.

Her recovery includes over 200 skin implants/grafts,

re-learning how to walk, talk, and doing ''simple'' tasks.

And as far as I can ascertain from watching a doco on her life,

her recovery was not easy and none of it was achieved without pain.

But she has recovered and is running again.

There are a number of different kinds of pain we

may experience but for the purpose of this post I am

going to stick with two broad categories: mental(psychological)

 and physical.

If we are experiencing physical pain, usually, but not always,

 the reason for our pain may be fairly easy to diagnose.

Psychological/emotional pain however, can be trickier.

Pain, regardless of whether it is physical or psychological,

 is a signal telling us that there is something going on

in our body and/or mind that needs our attention.

Your back is hurting? See a doctor.

Your ''soul/mind/feelings'' are hurting?

See a psychologist.

Whether we are experiencing physical or psychological

pain, methinks that most of us tend to reach for a

''painkiller'' of some sort as our number one coping strategy.

(Some trivia: Painkiller was originally a brand name before it 

became a generic product category.)

When I came off a skate board and my leg was twice

its size, the doctor looked at me, laughed and said: ''What did

you do? Come off a skate board?''

-Yeah, I did I answered, upon which he shook his

head and said: ''Take two painkillers and don't skate again.''

I have ended up in many a doctors practice with all manner

of injuries through the years and been told to stop

surfing, skating, rollerblading, etc. etc. and take two 

painkillers...alas, to no avail, as life... must be lived.

Ironically, the worst physical injury I've managed to ''achieve''

happened when I was lifting my amplifier and managed

to tare some ligaments and dislocate a disc in my lower back.

Yikes! PAINFUL.

This time the doctor didn't prescribe some generic painkiller.

Bedrest for two weeks, liquid morphine, valium every four

hours, physio, acupuncture, etc. etc.

However, knowing how addictive Morphine and Valium

 can be, I decided to go with normal painkillers.

I persisted with physio and ultra sound therapy for a couple

of weeks, but it did nothing to ease the pain.

So, I decided to start swimming laps.

Long story short: after four absolutely agonizing weeks of

swimming I started to feel some improvement.

So, I kept swimming. Two kilometers five days

a week for almost 15 years.

Wisdom gained from the above experience:

''Recovery begins with dealing with pain and

what's causing it, not avoiding it.''

(Citizen Z)

The problem with pain is that even if we push it

deep down inside of us it has a tendency to surface.

We may find that we snap at people, lose our

temper, feel depressed, listless, angry, restless,

etc. etc.

Whatever way our pain manifests itself, it will

out one way or another.

Often we tell ourselves: toughen up, it's not that bad,

don't be a sissy, ignore it and it will go away, etc. etc.

because somehow to admit to being in pain is to admit to

being ''weak''.

And who wants to be weak?

Thing is, those in the ''know'' say that the only way to

overcome pain is to face it, name it, and deal with it.

Instead of putting on a ''brave face'' and ''just grin and bear

it'', acknowledging to ourselves that we're in pain and

then instead of keeping it to ourselves, sharing what we're

going through with someone we trust, we may find 

the pain a bit easier to deal with.

Whatever the cause of our pain may be,

it seldom just goes away.

This is when coping strategies may come in handy.

''Problem-focused coping'' as in problem solving

and action taking to change the source of

the distress.

''Emotion-focused coping'' as in focusing on managing

and or reducing the emotional distress caused by

an event/situation/etc. etc.

Problem-focused coping strategies are usually used

when constructive actions can be taken, and 

emotion-focused coping is often used when people feel 

that a situation cannot be changed but must be endured.

In short: Is there something I can do to change this?

Let's do it.

Or

Is there something I can do to change this?

Not really.

So how do I best cope with this emotionally?

In other words: How do I best proceed

in order to recover from this?

 My view, by using both coping strategies.

Strategies not to use:

Avoidance/denial

Catastrophizing

Isolating

Making a mountain out of a molehill

Worrying as a means of self-defense

Romanticizing the past

Numbing with the use of

drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, etc.

Misdirection of emotions, as in

letting loose feelings on somebody

or something that has nothing to do

with the root cause of our distress.

I believe that recovery is available for all those

who seek it.

''Recovery begins with dealing with pain and

what's causing it, not avoiding it.''

about the image: charcoal and graphite on paper

some Elements editing