Learning how to improvise.......

Before I started to paint, I used to do a lot

of analog photography. 

I loved it. I loved improvising with shutter and

exposure time, push them to the limit

and then watch what would happen.

Showing some of my photos to a friend, he asked:

''Have you tried using Adobe Photoshop?''

Never having heard of it I answered no.

''I think you may find using it as an editing tool

interesting, and if you want, I can download 

a copy of it for you to try out.''

Fast forward three weeks and I am spending all

my free time trying to learn how to use Photoshop.

I even bought a book on ''How to use Photoshop'' but

it didn't make much sense to me, so I did what

I tend to do when I want to learn something new; 

I improvised.

In a Simpson episode Lisa asks Homer why he doesn't

like Jazz. Homer answers: ''Jazz? Pfft!! Why, it's not

real music, they just make it up as they go along.''

Improvising can perhaps be defined as ''making

something up on the go'', or figuring something out

on the ''fly'',  but in my view it can also be defined

as a kind of mindset.

(Just ponder this: An improvised story is created at the same

time as it's told. So is an improvised melody when it's played, 

a painting when it's being painted, a dance when it's performed,

or a solution to an unexpected problem.)

Uncertainty is not something most of us find

easy to deal with. Many of us probably prefer to be

in control, organized, prepared, have plans at the ready,

knowing what or where the potential pitfalls may be, etc.etc.

The catchphrase ''going with the flow'' may probably even be somewhat

anxiety inducing and stressful for some of us.

But here's the thing, sometimes even though we have

prepared, checked, and planned, unexpected stuff happens.

We then have a choice of either trying to figure out a possible

solution(improvise) or just ''quit''.

As a professional musician, I have experienced innumerable

occasions when the unexpected has happened.

Suddenly there was an unexpected equipment failure.

If it didn't get fixed, there could be no show.

No show, no payment.

So, one had to improvise, which in most cases

meant grabbing the ''gaffa tape'' (duct tape) and becoming

very creative. (Gaffa tape, a musician's magic ''wand''.)

Improvisation though often connected with the arts,

 is much more than that,

 ''improvisation'', says Stephen Nachmanovich,

''is intuition in action.''

Improvising is something most of us do every day

although we may call it something else.

''-No marmalade? But I always have marmalade on my toast in the

morning. I guess I could just have some peanut butter and jelly

today though."

''-Wow, it's really raining hard. Maybe I'll just take the bus to work

today instead of the bike.''

In order to create a sense of control and certainty in an uncertain

existence, many of us find comfort in routines.

(We often sleep on the same side in our beds, we make our beds

the same way every day, we have the same breakfast, we go to bed

at the same time, we do our washing on the same day, etc.etc.etc.)

But here's the thing as I see it: there are two sides to routines.

They comfort, but only when intact. Once there is an interference

and any of our routines broken, we often experience anxiety and

discomfort. If our mindsets are too rigid and opposed

to change, may I suggest that we are more easily unsettled than

 if we have a mindset that has embraced the ''art'' of improvising.

''In the long history of humankind(and animal kind, too)

those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively,

have prevailed.''

(Charles Darwin)

about the image: a photo taken of a little girl

holding a red balloon, then subjected to hours of editing

in Adobe Photoshop

''Heaven''? Is there such a thing?

This painting is titled ''On the way to Heaven''.

Why?

As much as the thought of dying is not an easy one to

come to grips with, sooner or later however, we will all have to

grapple with it.

Because let's face it, none of us are getting out of it.

When my son had barely turned one years old he

had his first life threatening asthma attack.

As the hospital staff did all they could to keep

him breathing, I was told to leave.

I stumbled out of the emergency room barely conscious

of what I was doing.

With legs of jelly I walked outside.

It was raining.

I could hardly breathe, my heart was pounding,

and my whole body shaking.

I prayed. ''God, if you can hear me, please keep my

son alive''. Over and over I repeated the words like a mantra.

As if in a trance I walked back and forth in front of

the emergency entrance repeating my mantra.

Until somebody tapped me on my shoulder and said:

''You can come in now. Your son is in an oxygen

tent to help him breathing. The medication has started

to work and he is breathing easier now. He

will be okay.''

Is there a God or something above,

an essence of good, an essence of love,

that's far beyond and above all physics,

 hovers in the realm we call meta-physics?

Is there an equation, some scientific practice,

that defines for us, with mathematical exactness,

that what we can see and touch with our hands,

is not all there is, merely what we understand?

We are a species invested in knowing,

fully committed to always be growing,

to explore and probe less trodden paths,

to find the answers to questions asked.

Prudent and fastidious and persistent as we are,

the fact that we're all mortal, we ponder from afar.

We know from death and dying, there is no escape,

 so we make it more pleasant and call it ''pass away''.

Maybe there is a God or something above,

an essence of good, an essence of love,
though it's far beyond and above all physics,

 and hovers in the realm we call meta-physics.
(Citizen Z)

about the painting: acrylic on canvas, quite large
suggestion: stare at it with an open mind and it will surprise you
what you will ''see''.

Dance as if no one is watching.........

It quickly became obvious to me when I started to paint,

that in order to paint the human form, I needed to do

some serious study.

Since I did not have any live models at hand, I decided

to buy some wooden figures that I had noticed that

they sold in art shops.

After I had bought the figure's, I spent weeks on positioning

 them and then sketching or painting them.

Strange though it may seem, I discovered that even

though the figure's had no features and were quite

difficult to manipulate into human-esque positions,

it was still possible to make them convey emotions.

Alas, eventually, I felt ready to move on to

human beings. 

But how? I still had no live models.

 I had a light-bolt moment.

Aha!!! Dance magazines.

Excitedly I went to my nearest News agency and bought

any magazine that had dancers in ''movement'' in it.

As luck would have it, I found a ballet magazine that contained

a lot of glossy and beautifully shot photographs depicting

the most amazing dance movements.

I filled a sketch book in a few days.

Perhaps they were not all sketched a 100% anatomically, but I

loved doing them. 

I acquired a whole new perspective and respect for the art

of Dance and dancers. Especially ballet dancers.

Much to my surprise I found myself seeking out

movies to watch that contained dancing.

Any kind of dancing really, because I had a last

realized what a truly magnificent art form Ballet/

and any kind of dancing, was.

I bought more magazines, even second-hand dance books,

just to keep studying the human form in movement.

 One late afternoon I found a photo of a boy dancer

I felt that I just had to sketch.

Problem was, I had run out of paper and canvas.

Scrambling for any bit of paper I found a roll

of brown wrapping paper. 

The paper was cheap, brown, rough, and what I used to

use for wrapping my paintings in.

Never mind, paper is paper, I thought.

I ripped off a piece, grabbed my black and my white charcoals,

and then did a sketch of the boy.

(The result is the image at the top of this post.)

Perhaps ''dancing as if no one is watching''

is something we could all benefit from doing every now then.....

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul.''

(Martha Graham)