Want to know more about yourself? Go eye to eye with a wild animal.........

I have always found elks to be magnificent looking

animals. Not that I have ever been that

up and close with one, but there is something

so very graphic about their silhouette methinks.

Ducking in to a small coffee shop to get a latte for

work (at that time in a gallery), while waiting, 

 I saw a life size decal (huge sticker) of an elk

plastered on one of the walls.

Admiring the image suddenly brought a long

 forgotten memory to the forefront of my mind.

I had indeed been very close-up with a wild elk once.

In my early 20's, a friend and I decided to ride

our Vespas from way up the north of Sweden down to

Stockholm.

This meant going through miles and miles of deep, deep,

untouched pine forests. 

Bar from the odd bird squawking now and then

and the humming of our vespas, we were surrounded by

silence. 

Not a silence as in the absence of sound, but more like

the silence of an empty cathedral.

It was definitely a spiritual kind of experience as we

forged our way forward. I think I was so immersed

in the experience that I forgot to keep an eye on the distance

between me and my friend.

But when my Vespa suddenly coughed, spluttered, 

and then just stopped, I realized that I was all alone

in the middle of a never ending forest.

I dragged the Vespa to the side of the road and

pondered my fate.

As this was long before the mobile phone, there

was no way for me to contact my friend or anybody

else. I was stuck.

All I could do was to wait and hope that somebody would

show up. I sat down on the seat on my Vespa, pulled

up the zipper on my parka and prepared myself for

a long wait.

Above the treetops I could see the sun slowly sinking

and the air changing from fresh to chilling.

Hugging myself trying to stay warm, every now 

and then doing a little dance to keep the circulation going,

I was beginning to fret.

Suddenly there was a strange noise coming from 

behind me.

I quickly turned around and looked straight into eyes of

a massive elk. His nostrils were flaring with mist,

his horns large and sharp, and his breathing slow but very scary.

In an instant I became a statue hardly even daring

to breathe.

 Quietly I argued with myself whether I should stare

the elk in the eyes or glue my gaze to the ground.

I had no clue about elk etiquette, so I played it safe

and kept staring at the ground.

Whoosh! A stream of hot air hit my face.

The elk's nose was only a few centimeters away from

my own.

Okay, now what???

Suddenly the elk took a step back, and then another,

and then stopped.

Very slowly I turned my head so that I could see what

he was doing. It looked as if he was listening to something.

What was he hearing?

Ah. There it was. The sound of my friend's Vespa.

I turned my head toward the sound and saw my friend

far in the distance coming toward me.

And the elk? Just as quickly as he had appeared, he disappeared.

''What are you doing?'' my friend asked me when he pulled

up next to me.

''My Vespa just stopped'', I answered.

Ten minutes later, spark-plug cleaned and my engine

running again, we carried on on our journey.

Although, this time I made sure that I was never further

away from my friend than at a ''hollering'' distance.

It's one thing to look a wild animal in the eyes while

that animal is in some sort of enclosure, but it's a very different

experience to do so when there is nothing but a breath

between you and that animal.

Respect, my fellow creature.

''When you look a wild animal into the eye, it's like

catching a glimpse into the soul of nature itself.''

(Paul Oxton)

about the image: In a dollar shop I found a small ''make-it-yourself''

model of an elk's head made from wood. After I assembled it, I took a

photo of it and then did a little bit of editing in Photoshop.

An unexpected encounter......................

It started to rain.

At first quite gently, but not for long.

The skies opened up.

I decided to run for cover.

Not far off, I saw a sign for Starbucks.

That became my destination.

The coffee shop was full of people, wet people,

loud people, laughing people, and talking people.

Some duff-duff music was trying to permeate

the highly charged atmosphere in the coffee shop

but it fell on deaf ears.

I managed to squeeze myself just inside the doors

and then tried to shake off some of the rain off my clothes.

I didn't really mind being wet, but I did mind the throbbing

headache that had begun a few hours earlier.

There is probably a scientific explanation as to why

coffee can get rid of some types of headaches,

but at that time in my life all I knew was that a strong

cup of coffee could make a headache go away.

Slowly, but surely, one customer after the other 

made their orders until finally, it was my turn.

''Double-shot-medium size-latte, please.''

I paid and then walked to the back of the coffee shop

and waited for them to call out my order.

One by one orders were called out and people left.

When the people at a table next to me left, I quickly

sat down on one of the empty chairs.

That's when I saw her.

Dressed in a crisp off-white shirt dress, short white

hair and immaculate facial make-up, there she stood,

looking like she had walked straight out of a glossy

fashion magazine.

There was an air of grace and stillness about her.

In my imagination I saw her surrounded by cherry blossoms

and beautiful old Japanese tea houses.

I was transfixed.

As though she could feel that I was staring at her, she suddenly

turned around and looked straight at me.

I felt obliged to say something to her, so I stood up,

walked up to her and asked: ''Would it be okay if I took a photo of you?''

She smiled, clasped her hands in front of her torso, and then

 nodded a ''yes''.

I pulled out my camera (which I happened to have on me)

and shot three photos.

I thanked her, she nodded again, and that was it.

When I came home and had a look at the shots

I had taken, I knew that I had to try to make a painting

of her.

A painting that somehow would capture some of the grace, 

and some of the stillness, 

that radiated from and through her presence.

''Whether we are aware of it or not,

hide it or not,

the energy(vibes) that drives

and or consumes us,

often finds a way to become visible

to others.''

(Citizen Z)

Kindness is not a sign of weakness.......

Yesterday I watched a movie about the man who founded

the ''Make a Wish Foundation''.

As far as childhoods go, Jack's childhood was fraught

with a constant flow of obstacles, hardships,

 and disappointments.

Mostly due to his mother's failure to uphold a

court order stating regular visitations by his

beloved and loving father.

(Every time Jack's father would find them, his mother would

pack up their very small trailer and leave.)

At eleven, his mother told him that his dad had died in

a car accident, (a lie) and before Jack could catch his

breath, she threw her things in the back of her

new boyfriend's truck and left.

To cut a long story short; Jack ran. Eventually he ended up

at a diner owned by a very kind man who took him in

and raised him as his son. ''Son'', he said to Jack, ''when

someone needs help, you help.''

This advice eventually inspired Jack to start 

the Make a Wish Foundation.

As far back as I can remember, I have been puzzled

by why we (humans) so often seem to find

it so hard to chose kindness as our first

response in any number of different situations.

Some suggest that for some of us kindness is

perceived as a weakness, a sign of emotional frailty

 and ''softness'' rather than a strength.

Some even view kind people as ''push-overs'',

as gullible, and easily taken advantage of.

To be kind it seems, is for some of us synonymous with 

vulnerability, and vulnerability is ''bad'' because it ''opens''
the possibility for us to be hurt or worse still, to be rejected.

''Better to keep people uncertain of who you really are

by being cool, aloof, and mysterious, than to show your

heart and be deemed a ''softie''.

Julia Breur, a clinical psychotherapist:  ''Some remain

stagnant in their human development as protective

(of themselves and others)

and others continue to develop with the realization that

they can protect(themselves and others) by being kind.''

In between gigs, I have often had to compliment my meager

''music'' income by working in various kinds of warehouses.

I did so on and off for 10 years but the environment

was so toxic and ''back-breaking'' (literally) that I decided

to embrace poverty. (= quit) 

But before I left, I wanted to set the record straight as

to why I never once responded with nasty words to all

the nasty words that had been hurled at me.

With my lunch box under my arm, I walked up the 

warehouse manager, looked him straight in the eyes and said:

''Never, ever, mistake kindness for weakness!!'' and with

those words I left the warehousing ''gambit'' forever.

(As a 20-something year old, I decided to never use

my intelligence for ''evil'' or nastiness, or to hurt someone

else with, and to this day, I have never broken that promise.

Kindness, has always been one of my most

important personal values.)

Perhaps at this point it may be good for me to give

you my definition of kindness.

''Kindness is a deliberate response and or an action taken not based
on the cost or gain to the self, but on the concern and regard
for the other.'' 

A little act of kindness, given or received un-expectedly,
is like someone whispering gently into your soul;
I see you, and you are not alone. (Citizen Z)

About the image: Teddy is a little bear I created and he appears
on a number of posts on this blog site