On social conscience........

We know that there are some

less fortunate than us,

their lives a constant battle

between gain or crushing loss.

We know that there are some

though no fault of their own,

are born with serious problems

nobody could have known.

We know that there are some

who always try their best,

but in spite of all their trying

they'll end up in a mess.

We know that there are some

who get up when they fall,

but the blows they just keep coming

and they must block them all.

We know that there are some

who need more help than us,

but are we at all willing

to help them without fuss?

Social conscience, is there room for it in today's society?

Social conscience defined as: "An attitude of sensitivity toward and sense of responsibility regarding injustice and problems in society."  

   "The true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members."   

                          (M. Gandhi)                                        

On the difference between looking and seeing.........

This bird, well, my rendition of this bird, is called a Secretary.

Not being an ornithologist, I know nothing about the bird, but the look in this bird's eye caught my eye. Upon googling it I found out that it is a large raptor related to hawks and eagles, in other words, it's a bird of prey.

If the saying "the eyes are the window to the soul" has even a grain of truth in it, then in my view, put some sunglasses on cos I reckon this bird can look straight into our souls.

(Or, if you prefer, straight into the deepest parts of our being.)

Seeing, or being able to see, is something many of us probably take for granted most of the time and only when something happens that affect our ability to use our eyes, do we realize just important our eyes are. Often we rely on our eyes to determine whether something is "real" or not: "Well, not until I see it with my own eyes will I believe it, ...or "show me, and then I will accept it as true"....or "seeing is believing"...etc.

Problem is, according to those in the know, that we all see things differently even if we are looking at the same thing. The data we receive through our eyes has to be interpreted by us, our interpretations mostly rely on previous experiences, our previous experiences are defined by the words we use to define them with, the words we choose to define our experiences with depends on our definitions of those words, and so on.

It is possible to be "looking" without "seeing" .....just like it is possible to be hearing without listening. Our ears can hear background noises without listening, as in our ears picks up audio data even while we are for instance listening to someone speaking to us. When we look at something, we are directing our gaze at that something, as in even if we don't know exactly what it is we are looking at, we are still looking at it...as for example abstract art. Seeing, is when we look at something, interpret/perceive what we are seeing and have an understanding of what we interpret it to be.

Perhaps one could say: Looking is collecting visual data, seeing is interpreting that data and assigning meaning to it.

What we "see" has a lot to do with our mental filters, and with mental filters I mean our cognition's of the world we live in. Some of us may see the world through "rose-coloured glasses" (optimistically), some of us may see the world through darkened glasses (pessimistically), but if asked, most of us will say that we see the world as it is (realistically).

What do you see?

Is this a realistic interpretation of something? 

What do you feel when you look at it?

What do you see?

Is this a realistic depiction?

What do you feel when you look at it?

Is this a sad or happy image?

Being able to understand and entertain the notion that it is possible for people to look at one thing yet come up with totally different understandings of what that thing is, is in my view probably one of mankind's biggest challenges because we have a tendency to view our own interpretations and perceptions as "real", as "obvious", as "how it is",  and someone else telling us "nah, you are so wrong" is often perceived by us as very confrontational.

Some of us look at animals and see food, some of us see fellow living creatures.

Some of us look at trees and see furniture, some of us see the lungs of the planet.

Some of us look at insects and see unnecessary pests, some of us see crucial components to the ecosystems.

Some of us look at birds and see "flying vermin", some of us look at birds and see beauty.

Some of us look at human beings and see beings capable of unimaginable cruelty and destruction, some of us see beings capable of ingenuity and extraordinary feats of creativity and compassion.

"What we see depends mainly on what we look for..... In the same field that the farmer will notice the crop, the geologists the fossils, botanists the flowers, artists the colouring, sportsmen the cover for the game. Though we may all look at the same things, it does not all follow that we should see them."

(John Lubbock)

"When the heart is asleep the eyes only looks, but seeing awakens the heart."

(Oluwatobi Eccles)

Stillness, a harbor in the midst of a storm......

Finding stillness in an increasingly loud and tumultuous world can at times be a challenge, 

but in my view, stillness can be a tonic for the mind.

Some definitions define stillness as the absence of sound and or movement, or both.

I would like to add another definition: a mindset, a state of being.

Stillness, in my experience, is something that can be experienced even if we are surrounded by sound and movement.

(I have heard some people say that they find stillness when they go for a jog/walk, or when riding their bicycles early in the mornings, or when they sit on a beach, or when they do laps in a pool, or when they plonk themselves in the middle of nature somewhere, or when they listen to ambient music, or when they listen to the rain, or when they listen to the wind, etc.etc.)

I read somewhere that when we feel overwhelmed, our minds seemingly unable to stop flitting here, there, and everywhere, it can be helpful to take some time and focus all our attention on words that we associate with stillness.

Words such as calm, peace, relax, tranquility, serenity, quiet, placid and so on.

During a particularly turbulent time in my life, I decided to give it a go.

I turned off all sound sources, sat down on the couch, closed my eyes and repeated the words peace, calm, relax, out loud and over and over. Much to my surprise, I could feel myself calming down.

As I became calmer, I was able to visualize myself being an eagle, soaring high above the mountains. Wings outstretched, the wind carrying my body, my eyes seeing the majesty and beauty of the mountains, and a wonderful stillness all around me as I floated gently through the air.

I found that to be such a helpful visualization that I have found myself "soaring" many a times.

(The two paintings above are my "eagle" paintings, I guess they could be called "visual reminders.") 

Perhaps you may also have times when you feel overwhelmed and are finding it difficult to slow down your busy mind?

If so, let's try a little experiment.

Say these words out loud: calm.....still......peaceful......tranquil......relax.....(repeat)

Now imagine:

An open field

slowly moving,

in time with the wind,

with flowers blooming.

Specks of yellow,

corn blue and white,

as if they are dancing,

a magnificent sight.

You are here

watching it all,

feeling quite calm,

at the sight of it all.

Smell the flowers,

 hear the birds sing,

taste the breeze

the coolness it brings.

Whatever was,

whatever may be,

don't hold on to,

just set it free.

(Citizen Z)

This is just a suggestion, whatever place, imagined or not, which when you think of it it brings you stillness, visit it often.

"The inner is foundation of the outer.

The still is master of the restless."

(Lao Tzu)

"Hurt people, hurt people".....on how to deal with feeling hurt

Read this please: This is an ink and charcoal sketch that I did for an exhibition titled: 

"I rather be a candle than curse the darkness". Included in the exhibition was a segment titled 

"The power of One" which consisted of portraits of different individuals who represented the power that one "voice" can have for either the benefit or detriment of mankind. (Just so you know, making this painting was emotionally very difficult for me, but I still made it because I felt that it belonged in the exhibition.)

As long as I can remember, I have battled with trying to understand why we hurt each other.

Why do we say things to a person that we know will hurt him/her? 

Why do we act in ways that we know will hurt others?  

This, of course, is a complicated question because there are so many possible answers;

sometimes we hurt others intentionally, sometimes unintentionally, sometimes we hurt others because that way we feel less hurt ourselves, sometimes we hurt others because that makes us feel that we are in control, etc.etc.

A kid comes home from school, holds up a drawing and proudly says: "Look at the drawing that I did today!" The parent throws a five second glance at the drawing and says "Oh, that's nice" and then continues doing what he/she is doing. The kid looks at his drawing and then puts it back in his backpack concluding that it can't be any good since his mum/dad didn't have a proper look.

Take the same situation but this time the parent says: "What about the math test? Drawings don't matter, math's does." The kid looks at his drawing, then rips it up.

Or perhaps the parents says: "What's it supposed to be? At your age I was a way better drawer."

When someone says something to us that hurt us, whether they did so intentionally or unintentionally, it can be difficult to know how to respond. Commonly, I believe, many of us ask ourselves: "Why did he/she say that?" A person with a healthy self-esteem may challenge the person who said something he/she experienced as hurtful and ask: "Why did you say that, that was really hurtful." Someone with a less healthy self-esteem may take the words to heart and find him/herself spiraling into self-doubt: "I shouldn't have said anything, that was a stupid thing to say. Next time I won't say anything."

Human beings live lives based mostly on behaviour patterns and habits. Repeat any action often enough and it becomes a habit, a pattern, a pathway in our brains that we "travel" so often we are not aware of doing so. This applies to our emotional responses as well: "when I feel hurt by what someone says to me, I withdraw" or "when I feel hurt by what someone says to me I challenge him/her" or "if someone says something to me that hurts me, I strike back".

Not that we are aware of these habitual thoughts....our behaviour patterns are well and truly hidden in our unconscious minds. Which of course make it difficult for us to change any of our behaviours or emotional responses.

So, why do some people hurt others?

Some say that "hurt people, hurt people" and they do so, some suggest, in order to maintain their psychological stability. "I hurt and this makes me feel unstable, but if I make someone else hurt as well, then my hurt doesn't feel so bad so I feel more balanced."

(I think this may apply to anger as well perhaps: "I feel angry so I am going to make you feel angry too, that way I feel more balanced." Come to think of it, perhaps there are more: "I am worried, so I'm gonna make you feel worried too, I feel criticized, so I am gonna make you feel criticized too, I feel bullied, so I am gonna make you feel bullied too.")

Although there are people who intentionally try to, and often succeed to hurt us and others, how we will respond however, is up to us.

(In the early days of Hitler and his brown shirts, some Jewish folks thought of him as a nuisance that would pass, others took him seriously and left Germany. As history will verify, Hitler was an expert when it came to finding ways of hurting others. Lucky for me, my grand-parents took him seriously and hence here I am today writing this.)

If I may, here are some suggestions on how to respond when someone hurts you:

Decide the intention as in if there was one or if it perhaps was a misunderstanding, talk about your feelings rather than argue the point  as in "I felt hurt by your words when you said....", rather than reacting try to respond as in think before you speak, stick to your boundaries as in if you feel disrespected and or belittled, say so, and finally, if the hurt you experienced was a misunderstanding or caused unintentionally, don't hang on to it.
"Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you."
(Recoveryexperts)