Every day is an opportunity to become a "better" you........

(This is a painting I did a few years ago which ended up in Sweden before I had taken a photo of it. The quality of the image is not the best due to the number of i-thingy's it had to go thru before I could post it, but hopefully the essence of the love between the father and son is still discernable.)

In a few days, actually, tomorrow is the last day of this year.  I have never put much stock in New Year's celebrations, although I am pretty sure that some people do, none the less, for some of us it's an excellent time to make resolutions to do things differently, and hopefully "better", ... next year.

A New Years Promise

Hush, dear son and try to sleep,

do not worry, do not weep.

You are safe, here in my arms,

far away, from that which harms.

Rest your head against my chest,

hear the gentle rhythm of my breaths.

Let fly away all tears and fears,

and ugly thoughts that may appear.

Hold not too tight yesterday's sorrows,

or what may come in future tomorrows,

just rest easy, in the here and now,

straighten out, your worried brow.

Innocence cuts with surgical precision,

through layers of pretense and most suppositions,

which makes a child, yes a boy just like you,

able to tell when a heart is not true.

So, watching you sleep here in my arms,

I can't help but wonder: have I done you harm?

Could I have shown you, more love more patience,

the words that I used, of a far gentler cadence?

I fear that the answer, if honest I'd be:

I can do better, be a better me.

I'll make you a promise, loud and clear,

to be a better father, this coming new year.

(Citizen Z)

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."(Anne Frank)

(Perhaps one could even say: "How wonderful it is that no one need wait a single moment before starting to improve themselves.")

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" says Gandhi...

I wish you a great 2018......

For you, where ever you are........a word of encouragement

"Do not paint over this one" said my son. (The reason he said that was that I would often paint over old works when I ran out of fresh canvases, and truth be told, this image is a "paint-over".)

"Take a few steps back and have a look" he continued.

I did what he told me. Something very peculiar happened when I looked at the painting from a distance; I was able to disconnect myself from the process of what I was doing and this enabled me to view the image as if someone else had painted it. Standing on the easel, the painting that I was working on, was a portrait of my son's friend Zach, but somehow, viewing the painting at a distance, Zach had turned into "The Nazarene".

The first time I showed the painting in an exhibition was quite extraordinary and some of the responses by the viewers, memorable to say the least.

The Nazarene was the first painting on display in the exhibition, (I guess a bit like an entrance point) so for that reason, that was were I was positioned in order to welcome visitors.

(I now need to say this:  I am only ever a channel and have no sense of "ownership" connected to any of the kind of creative work that I do, ....once something is finished, my part is done. My contribution is hard work, acquiring the skills needed and allowing the "channel" to remain open.)

Because of my position, I was able to to hear and see some of the reactions to the painting.

"Look mum, Jesus!" a little girl exclaimed as she pointed to the painting. If I remember right, many children who saw the painting seemed to hold the same view although some of them thought that I  got the hair colour wrong; it should have been "yellow" (?). Some viewers asked me if I was religious, some asked me why I painted Jesus when nobody really knows if he ever really existed, some told me that they found the painting offensive, some asked me what on earth made me paint Jesus, was I trying to convert people? What however became obvious very quickly to me was that the painting seemed to evoke quite strong emotions in the viewers. 

Near the closing time, I noticed a woman standing quietly in front of the painting. She was standing there silently for such a long time, that I decided to talk to her. I gently tapped her on the shoulder and as she turned around to face me, I noticed that tears were gently sliding down her cheeks.

Softly she asked me if I had painted the painting of Jesus. "Actually, it is not Jesus, it is Zach, a friend of my son, that I painted, but it seems as if for many people, it is a representation of how they imagine Jesus would have looked" I answered. "Please forgive my tears, but I don't seem to be able to stop them. You see, I am not religious at all, I don't even know if I believe that Jesus ever existed, but somehow the face in your painting oozes such gentleness, stillness and love, that I don't seem able to walk away. I just want to keep looking at it," she responded.

In the car on the way home, I pondered on the number of people who had offered suggestions on what should happen to the painting: you should give it to a church, it should be hanging in a church, you should donate it to a hospital, etc.etc......funny how no one made an offer to buy it......

(After all, who would want to have "Jesus" on the wall in their living room?)

Christmas is celebrated by many of us; for some of us it may entail the birth of Jesus, for some of us Christmas is merely a commercial construct, for some of us it's a few days rest, for some of us it's family time, for some of us it's a chance to eat good food, have a glass or two and spend time with friends, for some of us it's a good time to reconnect, for some of us it's a good time to take time out and reflect on our lives, for some of us it may mean nothing more than another reason to party, for some of us it may encourage us to be mindful of people less fortunate than us, for some of us it may be a highlight on our religious calendar, and so on. 

As far as holidays go, Christmas is a "biggie".

For some of us, Christmas can be like a tonic for our souls, it can assist us in directing our thoughts toward the giving to others: more of our time, more acts of kindness, patience, love, compassion, support, encouragement, and the helping of hands. (And all this without us having to spend a single cent.)

My view is that we all have the potential for being givers, all it requires is open hands and an open heart . Even in times when our hands may be empty, an open heart is always full, and from that fullness of heart we can give warmth, comfort, kindness and company.

I know that for some of us, Christmas can be the time when we feel the most alone, if this happens to be you, let me just say this:

You are not alone

although

this may be how you feel.

Because you are connected...

through the air that you breathe,

 the words that you speak,

the thoughts that you share,

the burdens you bear,

the warmth of the sun,

thru clouds on the run,

the cool of the breeze,

the shade of a tree.

You are connected to the earth upon which you walk, 

you and all creatures, 

be they big or small.

 You are not alone

'cos with all there is, 

or that ever will be,

you, you do belong.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Feelings are one thing ---- how we chose to respond to those feelings is another....

"Spread love wherever you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier."

(Mother Teresa)

Last week my trusty old Dell laptop died. It had been behaving strangely for a few weeks, but my experience with computers has taught me that sometimes stuff happens seemingly for no reason. (Well, not being a computer whiz, that's how it seemed to me.)

After crashing three times in a few hours, I finally submitted to calling an expert.

The expert confirmed my fears; the computer was done for, so the question became: could the info on the hard drive be saved? Long story short; I had to buy a new laptop and with the expert's help, we managed to save most of what was on the hard drive.

So, after last weeks debacle, I am finally able to write a new post for this blog.

"Love is an essence that is omni-directional and outward directed with benevolence at its core."

A statement I made in a previous post in an attempt to define love as free as possible from the confines of expectations, interpretations, and personal experiences.

Often when we speak of love, feelings are at the forefront of how we define it, which for me is problematic because feelings and the understanding of them are so often rooted in our individual experiences.  Some say that there are a number of different kinds of love: romantic love, friendship love, love between parent and child, a kind of universal love as in altruism, charity, compassion for our fellow humans, to mention a few. But, what happens to romantic love when the "romance"  is gone? What happens to friendship love if there is a strong difference of opinion? What happens to the love between parent and child when the child rejects the parent's way of parenting? What happens to our compassion and sense of charity when those we offer it to turns us away?

Is love a choice or is it a feeling? Or is it both? Or is it something altogether different?

Are human beings capable of rising above feelings, past experiences, opinions, and expectations and tap into a kind of love that is omni-directional and outward directed with benevolence at its core?

Feelings come and go, they are often volatile and precarious, they swing like a pendulum back and forth, they are powerful and can often wrestle all logic and reason to the ground. 

Like an un-expected king-tide, suddenly we find ourselves swept up in a monster wave of emotions, barely managing to breathe and like the wave, we crush everything in our way.

Once subsided, we are left with a lot of debris and a mess to clean up.

"Honey, it's only because I love you so much that I reacted this way", or "Son, it's only because I love you that I reacted this way" or "It's only because I feel so passionate about this issue that I acted this way".....

Much violence and aggression is justified (according to perpetrators of such acts) in the name of "love". 

On the other hand, feelings of benevolence and good will(love) can also mobilize us to help others, to support, to uplift, to contribute, to express compassion.

 What we all have at our disposal although perhaps it often does not feel like it, is the choice of how to act in response to our feelings. In between us experiencing a feeling and how to respond to that feeling, is a moment....that moment gives us the chance to chose our response.

Looking back on my own experiences, I remember the very moment when I realized that it was okay to love someone regardless of whether that love was requited or not. Love, I realized, whether requited or not, was not the point, the point was that all the things that I loved about my lover: the generosity, the sense of humor, the kindness, the willingness to help out, etc.etc. would remain, just not for me to enjoy anymore, and that was okay, because those lovely attributes would be there for someone else to enjoy. I choose to view love as a songbird: it sings the best when it's not caged.

(This insight helped me to let go of any sense of ownership when it comes to love.)

Love; perhaps one of the hardest words to define, may also be one of the most abused words.

We love chocolate, we love our sports team, we love the new iPhone, we love our cars, we love to just hang out, we love to "troll", we love sushi, etc.etc. I am going to suggest that perhaps "enjoy/like" may work as well or instead. So what? you may say.

I am just wondering if perhaps by using the term love too much may possibly "water down" the power and meaning of it?

I was once asked: -If there is a hell, how would you describe it?

My answer: -Earth, but without the existence and or the expression of any kind of love.

-You think there's love on earth then?

-Yes, I do. I see it in children laughing, in parents playing with their children, in old couples walking hand in hand, in teenagers sneaking a kiss, in people walking their dogs, in nature, in the sunshine, in the dew in the grass early in the morning, in the waves crashing the beach, in the birds singing, and....

-Yeah, yeah, I get it..........

Most of us can probably agree that at this point in time, Earth is having a hard time surviving with us humans doing all sorts of horrible thing to it, so perhaps it is time for us humans to tap into a kind of love that is omni-directional and outward directed with benevolence at its core?

I'm sure at least it couldn't hurt for us to love each other and our planet a bit more.